A Cuban-American's Move to the Philippines (Part 5)

Hey, Steemers! This is the fifth part in a short series that my husband @expatlove wrote on his move from South Florida to the Philippines. The first part can be found here, the second part here, the third part here, and the fourth part here.

Call Us Crazy

     Dating should lead to marriage. That's how I see it, admittedly through the lens of a consciously Christian worldview. Some people date for fun and some out of loneliness or boredom. Actually, there are various and sundry reasons that people date. Regardless of religious or professedly non-religious persuasion, however, it's safe to assume that most people date because they want to find for themselves a significant other. This desire is what led to the events that are described herein, unique as they may be to our particular story.

     With our religious convictions at the fore, together with all of the commendable motives that we had for wanting to ultimately form a family with someone and not just date around for the sake of dating, Marilyn and I both got down to business (albeit via digital communication). Things progressed naturally, but we were clear about our intentions and made sure that our long-distance dating endeavors were headed toward an ultimate end. The success we encountered was in part due to the respect and honesty we afforded each other as we got to know one another, developing a relationship of substance and growing closer and closer to each other as time went by.

     It wasn't all "serious," of course. There was a lot of teasing and light-hearted fun involved, especially at the beginning. (There still is.) Our Skype dates weren't dry or nerve-wracking job interviews, after all. There was some vetting going on, but at the end of the day, we were people who simply wanted to make a good effort at getting to know an awesome and potentially suitable person of the opposite sex. Things weren't always light-hearted, though, and together with an appropriate tone of seriousness, some vulnerability had to come into the equation as things naturally progressed. However, the general tone of our encounters was one of happiness, as it is today. Love is fun, I say.

     A word of caution is now due, and anyone inspired to take a similar course of action with regard to finding love would do well to take heed. As it pertains to online dating, and especially when it comes to Filipina dating, scammers abound. Widespread poverty in the Philippines has something to do with it. If you venture into Southeast Asian dating, suffice it to say that the person you talk to online – and perhaps, the person you may have been talking to for a significant amount of time – may not be the person you think it is.

     Anyway, as it concerns my own relationship with Marilyn, the time finally came for us to make a decision of significant consequence. With all of its limitations, online dating worked for us, but it was only able to take us so far. We had to meet in person, but what did that mean? Did we simply want to take our dating relationship to another level, only to keep it there for a specified amount of time? Did we simply want to verify that we indeed had the sort of thing that was purportedly fostered online?

     Call us crazy (and maybe we are), but we had developed the sort of relationship in which we knew what we wanted. We wanted to unite, i.e., take each other on as hubby and wife, and there wasn't very much doubt about it in either of our minds. What it came down to was location and timing. Making our choices quite easy to make, Marilyn didn't necessarily want to go to the U.S. and the adventurer in me didn't mind the thought of moving elsewhere. It became settled: I'd move to the Philippines. As for timing, I eventually thought, "Pfff...It's now or never."

     Shortly thereafter, the task of preparation ensued, and it was fast-paced; it was somewhat impulsive, really. Among other things, it involved a quick dispensing of many possessions and selling my vehicle for less than what it could have been sold for. As much as reason and discipline allowed, things were set in order and unfinished business was taken care of, but a deeply rooted determination to quickly make things happen allowed for adrenaline to dictate much of what occurred. Happily, reason concurred; we only live once, after all. Why waste any more time than is absolutely necessary in one country if something awesome awaits in another?

     Finally, I was off: first to California to visit a friend and bid farewell to the U.S. in the city of Los Angeles, and then to my final destination, the gorgeous Philippine islands. After a brief layover in Hong Kong, the somewhat chaotic city of Manila bade welcome in all of its smoggy glory. One of my first experiences there: an unwanted offer to buy methamphetamine from a business-minded tricycle driver.

Stay tuned for Part 6!