I love how you described the night in the first paragraph. I also like how the story grows more and more exciting. I can imagine James feeling hopeless and hopeful at the same time when he knew that his death was coming but he managed to get his children into safety. All for the sake of survival of Savoors.

He came and stand straight in front of Regal waiting for his fate to come, knowing that this isn't the end.

I would like to hope that Regal will not find his children but 50000 words is a lot and I'm sure he eventually will. And I'm looking forward to reading about how they will defeat him :) (Hopefully)

This is a great opening to a great story. I will enjoy this NaNoWriMo month a lot :)