What About Little John? Part Seven
A true story.
Little John is just one of many that I chose to meet, talk to and get to know. John is not a young boy. He was about thirty-five, six-three and well over two hundred pounds when we met. He must be in his mid-forties now.
I am supporting him despite his new found habit.
Stepping in to help and knowing when to step out of the way.
I kept working.
And I said to my self, "Self. If we ever win the lottery, we are going to continue working as if we had not even won!" With that statement I agreed. I never play the lottery so it was not much of a statement. It happened a long time ago after having massive success in accumulating digital coins that were worth pennies. I had hundreds and hundreds of them and no place to spend them. I was a hundred-aire.
I stopped smoking.
I also told myself that I would not be an annoying ex-smoker if I ever managed to beat the slavery of cigarettes. I quit years ago, but to this day, you will never see me grimace or wave my hand if the smoke floats across my face. I regained my sense of smell again over the years but I still like the smell of cigarettes. I still miss smoking but not enough to start again. Running out of smokes was horrible. Boarding a plane made me anxious.
Back to Little John.
Those are the promises I had made to myself. One I kept and Little John could smoke all he wanted in front of me. It did sadden me that he would give up food for cigarettes if it came to a choice. I know what that addiction can do to a person. I know the addiction will win.
We talked. He offered me a cigarette, which I refused. I gave him some money for the week and he pocketed it as he went on to complain about others in the park. I understand. Well, I try to understand. I certainly feel for the man. I listened to what he had to say. I found out that he stutters less when he is annoyed. People who knew him were not treating him well. I had only met one of the others who lived there and she was cordial. I don't know the rest of those he may have to deal with. I certainly would not walk in that park at night.
Thoughts of having him come to my home crossed my mind. Then again, I am very careful about who has influence of any kind on my children. As much as I want to help, I have to rule out inviting him to my home. I can give to him and advise him when I see him, but he is free to decide what he spends his money on.
In comparison
There was a time when I could only give so much to my children whom I love very much. Later, as the digital coins built up and grew in value, it was much easier to give them nice things. I observed that bigger and better surprises achieved less and less wow from the kids.
The more I tried to please them with foods they liked, places that they had never seen, or toys that they wanted, the less they enjoyed them. That had not been the case when we had much less.
I suppose it is human nature. People in general want bigger and better. More and more.
Games need better faster graphics and more options.
Movies need greater action scenes than the previous one. Think Fast and Furious.
Phones have to have higher resolution, more GBs.
How much is enough?
Whatever John had been doing to feed himself before he met me was daily a struggle. I am not sure how he survived, yet there he was. I am not sure why he left his homeland or how long he had been living on the street. The fact was that he was still living on the street. I consider my efforts to be a failure thus far.
I have eased his suffering to a great degree but increased his dependency on me. I have helped him eat on a regular basis but he is now ostracized by his peers as well as supermarkets.
What would you do in my situation?
You have all had very thoughtful comments. I read every one.
Tell me what you would do. How would he respond?
There is an ending, and it may not be what you expect. It may actually be altered if I find Little John at the park when I go to look for him tomorrow around four in the afternoon.
Several possibilities for part eight and onward here on Steemit.
Not @done yet. To be continued...
Hello @done, I've been reading from the post one of the story of Little John, I'm glad you've left the cigar, it's a great triumph, I hope it does not resume again. On the other hand, as a tip, to avoid creating more dependency, I think we could show Little John, how to earn more money, or duplicate it with the money you give him, do not give him the fish, teach him a fish, I believe that even this young man to learn the trade, you can get a little money. When you give him that money, without any effort from him, a habit or a habit is created and he will want you to continue contributing money, without much effort, you can give him a lesson, tell him I have supported you economically without getting any effort from your part, and that's life sometimes, you get some good either money, property among others without working for it, but sometimes we have to achieve with our work the money to maintain our life, to cover our needs. Now, if he wants to live better, he has to work for it. Everything that takes effort and work and we do it with our own hands, is more valuable. So you can motivate him to learn some work, so that he grows personally and apart generate income. You have to ask him, what is easier, what he likes and then he can find the way there.
Very thoughtful and detailed comment @keritroberts. I fully agree with you. I'd like to avail the opportunity to share one of my most favorite quotes here as I think it's much relevant:
@done, You've done a great job. I'm liking this story more and more. Thumbs up.
Thanks for taking the time to read my comment @asif.bokhari . Your phrase is incredible and very true and I think it is the best way to help the other, teaching him how to progress! Greetings, I will go through your blog. regards
Thanks @keritroberts. Let's connect.
In part 6 of the story comment late because gina did not warn me. It's good that this time it worked well.
As an ex-smoker that you are, you can tell him about your experience, how things improved when you quit smoking.
Regrettably as now he has a money, he spends on cigarettes. I think I would tell him that if he is going to use the money for cigarettes, I will not give him much money from now on.
Regarding his family status, it is very complicated to give an opinion with so few details. But his emotional emptiness is very big. It is a subject that he continually avoids.
And I believe just like you, as long as there is no more drastic change, I would not take it home.
Greetings, friend. Blessings.
Simplicity is a true gift, it is like a child who sees something that surprises him, his face is a poem of great happiness, but over time the same thing that gave him happiness before today is not enough, we always want to improve and it is not wrong only that it is fair to expect from oneself not from others. It is easy to demotivate when you have exhausted the resources and more if you are running out of ideas, what would you do is analysis question observe to what extent I can influence a person positively, however it is difficult because we are not machines to know which are the faults and solutions. Help economically must have a limit, you must help to act to have ideas, a person with clear ideas, with tangible goals and objectives can recover much easier, I think you should find a reason to make John believe in an idea, a reason why which fight, goals and objectives which follow and fulfill.
That sounds like a lot of good advice. Thank you for the comment. I will be going to look for John today. If I locate him, then I will try to be mindful of everyone's comments.
I hope it serves you well thanks for taking so many into account.
Hello @done, I've read from the story of Little's post victory, hope again. On the other hand, to avoid creating more dependency, I think we can show Little John, how to get more money, or duplicate with the money you give him, don't give him fish, teach him fish, I believe that even this young man is to study trade, you can get a little money. When you give him the money, without any effort from him, habits or habits that are made and he will want you to continue to contribute money, without much effort, you can teach him, tell him has supported you economically without getting your business, and that's life sometimes, you get some good money, property among others without working for it, but sometimes we have to achieve it with our work money to sustain our lives, to cover our needs. Now, if he wants to live better, he must work for it. Everything that requires effort and work and we do it with our own hands is more valuable. So you can motivate him to learn some work, so he grows personally and separately generates income. You have to ask him, what is easier, what he likes and then he can find a way there. I really like your idea of my friend @done, thank you for sharing, greetings and successful greetings
You have learned that voting is rewarded with a better upvotes on your comment. I would ask that your comments be your own.
I'm sorry my best friend ... I beg youI promise I won't repeat again, seriously
Yes, my best friend, I will start giving the best, for you and, everyone, do you forgive me now😊😊
usually people are nonconformist, especially when we know that we can give ourselves a better taste,
As for John, I think he has a lot to process, is angry with life, since time is not going very well and suddenly a person who begins to help him appears, although it is good, he knows it will not be forever, you would have to understand it, because you do not want to sleep in those beneficiary homes, you know what happened there, like the church that did not want to return, in the end many things may be happening inside, maybe the distance is because it is quotient that all this good will not last forever
Thank you very much for sharing this experience
I wish you a great day
It's good to read you so soon. I think the first thing I would do is to find out what our character's life was like before his current state and understand why he left home to attack the problem at its root, there must be many sad memories, heart wounds to heal and these are the points that I think should be treated because while those wounds are there it will be difficult for him to feel motivation to change his current state. Perhaps talk to a family member or someone who can give us references to his situation, first of all must be restored emotionally.
Wonderful that you have quit smoking with it you will lengthen in ten years more life to your old age ha ha ha. Here I have read a number of tips that give you and are very good indeed are taken from life itself. Helping is good makes you feel good, but he is not your son, or your cousin is someone you want to help and the best way to help is to give them the tools to survive alone, because you do not know until when you can help, the life takes many unexpected turns. You do what your heart feels it should do, but the advice I read here from some participants is very sincere, real and of very good quality. You have us following you like in a daily novel, we only wait for news of the following chapter. A hug, good-hearted man. @done
Maravilloso que hayas dejado de fumar con ello vas a alargar en diez años más de vida a tu vejez ja, ja,ja. Aqui he leido una cantidad de consejos que te dan y son muy buenos de hecho son tomados de la vida misma. Ayudar es bueno te hace sentir bien, pero el no es tu hijo, o tu primo es alguien que quieres ayudar y la mejor forma de ayudarlo es darles las herramientas para que sobreviva solo, por que tu no sabes hasta cuando lo podras ayudar, la vida da muchas vueltas inesperadas. Tu haz lo que tu corazon sienta que debe hacer, pero los consejos que lei aqui de algunos participantes son muy sinceros, reales y de muy buena calidad. Nos tienes siguiendote como en una novela diaria, solo esperamos noticias del siguiente capitulo. Un abrazo hombre de buen corazón.
The first thing I will do is find out what the problems of previous life are with the current situation and understand why he left home to get out of trouble basically there must be many happy, sad, and hurt hearts to heal. and this is what I think must be treated because while the wounds are there, it will be difficult for him to change his current situation. Maybe talking to family members or someone who can motivate a situation like this.
Thank you very much @done for sharing this experience.
I wish you a great day.
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Es sorprendente la historia, la acabo de leer completa. Ayudar es inspiración dIVINA, AMAR EL PRÓJIMO aunque no seas tan religioso te abre las puertas del cielo.
Esta tarea de ayudar sólo económicamente ciertamente genera dependencia, esta debe ir acompañada con ayuda psicológica, a la medida de lo posible conocer que lo condujo a ese lugar y dar las herramientas necesarias para que pueda valerse por si mismo, no somos eternos y el día que dejes de estar para él, ¿qué podria hacer? Obviamente a estas alturas quitar la ayuda de un tirón les hará mal a ambos. A partir de mañana se puede tratar de ahondar en su historia y contarle lo que sientes respecto al cigarrillo y tus motivos para dejarlo, seguro te escucha y aceptará con repeto un consejo de tu parte.
Llama mi atención el cambio del gesto de agradecimiento de little Jhon al recibir tu ayuda económica, ¿a qué se debió?
You bring up many suggestions. I had asked him about psychological help, asked if he had gone to the hospital. He did not want to be interned at one of those places. There is no cost for medical care here.
His change in gestures were a sign that he feels differently about money. This is one of the main points for writing this blog. Money brings more problems than it solves. I suspect that others who know Little John had started asking him to buy things saying, "You always have money!"
It is a rainy day today, but none the less, I am planning to go to the park and see if I can find John. If I do, I will try to record a video of him for DTube. If I cannot find him, I hope to hear that he has returned to his country.
Si tienes razón, ya entiendo perfectamente tu punto. Hiciste un trabajo completo con little Jhon, a veces no podemos ayudar a todos. Leeré a continuación tu post para conocer más de esta historia.
Dang it, well @done!:)
But gosh, I am here for the first time and really enjoyed your writing skills. I guess I'll have to read no.1,2,3,4,5,6 ASAP to be up to date with the whole story!
Thanks for sharing!