A (Belated) Holiday Mia Culpa
An Open Letter To My Dear Loving Family,
Sorry I sucked this year. The holidaze were truly that. When our amazing HardFork team decided to launch a DASH sponsorship proposal in early December I didn’t do the math on when it would come to a head. And I feel I became somewhat insufferable on our family visits home as a result. The combination of painful feelings surrounding the 3rd year anniversary of my mom’s death and equally painful feelings that a million bucks in sponsorship money for HardFork were slipping through my fingers drove me beyond distraction during our visits home. It was only after we unexpectedly rounded up the votes in the last second that I realized just how odiously obsessive I’d become.
Human interaction on the other side of a digital portal—both demanding and friendly—have become an everyday part of our existence. Sadly, those who are in physical rooms with us (or the signal laden great outdoors) often suffer from our binary absenteeism. And this year, I was a real stinker on that front. I’m excited to start this new year with a better handle on my screen-work habits.
Portable electronic devices (or PEDs, my new favorite expletive) have become so enticing it’s harder than ever to put them down. I’ve taken to counting how many people I see on the streets of New York who don’t have one glued to their appendages. The numbers are dwindling…
But that’s no excuse.
In the last hours of the DASH Proposal Vote, at brunch with dear friends I’ve know my entire life and their dazzling kids, I could barely look up from my phone. The numbers were coming in fast and furious. My friends were getting in on the excitement. But after a brief woop, “HOLY PEDing PED!! I THINK WE GOT IT!!” the last minutes of the timer were still fluctuating and it was impossible to know if we’d truly succeed or not for a nail-biting hour. My amazing wife kept subtly nudging me that I needed to put the phone down, but I simply couldn’t. Full fledged inescapable Holiday Shmuckery.
My work as a filmmaker and commercial director has always been unpredictable, oscillating between inconsistent and relentless. In my earlier idealistic days, I refused to own a cellphone, instead opting for a pager, which I would make a point of ignoring for at least an hour after it buzzed unless it said 911. But the smartphone vortex engulfs us all it seems, and I’m a sucker for instant gratification. Let’s face it, the thing produces pangs of love.
And throw crypto into the mix…
Forget it.
But, I don’t want to be the kind of father who parents out the side of a phone. The kind of husband who doesn’t look up from his laptop when his wife speaks. The kind of son, brother, friend or even street passerby who’s digitally tuned in, but physically tuned out.
Before leaving New York, I went on an “adventure” with my son to get his new Passport downtown. You can spin any errand into an adventure if you throw in a dash of chocolate. Of course, a Slack attack came in. A fire I immediately needed to relate to. I threw off a thumb volley then looked down at my innocent 5 year old’s fae.
“I’m sorry I’m so distracted with this thing lately,” I lamely stammered.
“That’s OK Daddy,” he responded, “I know you’re working on a big project.” My heart melts just thinking about it.
And so I offer an apology. I can’t promise I won’t suck again if the need arises. I know I will. “Big projects” these days demand the attention of the screen. I’m looking at one right now for PED’s sake.
But I’ll try harder.
This I vow.
Thanks for being wonderful, and for not giving me too much (well deserved) crap. Can’t wait to see you face to face again soon, and be a little more present when I do!
Xo & Happy New Year,
Doug
Got your own Holiday Mia Culpas? Please share below, it might just make us both feel a little better ;-)
I am a Brooklyn based writer, film & commercial director, and crypto-enthusiast, my projects include @HardFork-series an upcoming narrative crypto-noir and my novel Dwelling will soon be premiering exclusively on Steemit, and you can check out more of my work at dougkarr.com, piefacepictures.com, and www.imdb.com/name/nm1512347
Please comment, up-vote and resteem and I'll gladly upvote your comments!
I so completely relate. I don't know that I have ever 'worked' harder than within the past 6 months. There is the overwhelming drive to find one's niche / purpose within this renaissance in which we find ourselves. The thought exercises, they're mind blowing and you just are compelled to participate and position yourself, your family and even your grandchildren correctly.
We all know this is a special time. I could go on and on about how it's a once in a generation or even bigger, the biggest event in history. Regardless, we have more important people to share this life with. Thank you for sharing and helping bring back into focus what's important. And yeah, I suck too.
Yeah it's crazy, sleep feels so secondary these days. And I find myself dreaming strange decentralized landscapes now. It truly does feel like a renaissance. Like anything is possible if we follow these blockcrumbs. So thankful to have comrades in arms like yourself to boldly venture into this great exciting unknown with!
We need to find balance in our lives. It so easy to trot off on a tangent. But family is paramount in that balance. I found the best way to do it it is turn everything off for a whole day, once a week and devote that day totally to family. It makes a difference.
That’s a great idea @cecicastor!
There is the staggering drive to discover one's specialty/reason inside this renaissance in which we get ourselves. The idea works out, they're mind blowing and you simply are constrained to take an interest and position yourself, your family and even your grandchildren accurately.
We as a whole know this is a unique time. I could continue forever about how it's an once in an age or much greater, the greatest occasion ever. In any case, we have more critical individuals to impart this life to. Much obliged to you for sharing and bringing once again into center what's critical
Thanks @max1994!
I can imagine how hard it is to juggle everything you have to with family life.
It is hard, but it's an immense pleasure for the most part. Thanks @gmuxx!
Your post is a good reminder for us all. It's so difficult to maintain balance sometimes, especially amidst such vortexes of chaos. I'm very sorry the Holidays were so hectic for you this year. As we move forward with the project we should make it a point to carve ourselves out some breaks to catch our breath.
Yes! We should structure in some downtime for sure! So we can drink wine and talk about blockchain! Ha
Wine and blockchain, the perfect pairing!
Happy is he who is happy at home. The family is the most important thing in the world. After reading your article, I realized that you have a very strong family and patience. They understand that everything you do is for them. Thank you for sharing.
Do not worry, my friend, you seem to feel sorry for
You seem very sorry to lose your mother, apparently. But look good things in life :)
Next Christmas...
Source
I guarantee, they will all forgive ...
I understand your story perfectly, this is how it usually happens to a large part of the people.
As there are many digital platforms, we have become addicted to them and put aside personal communication.
Sometimes I feel guilty because I am very addicted to social networks and I stopped sharing with friends and relatives close to me.
I do not regret it, but if it affects me a little, that's why lately I'm focusing a little more on them, it does not mean that I stop interacting on the platforms because I can say that I know extraordinary people.
Wow. You really sound like you are being honest, both in your apology and in your statement that, in the future, there will be times you will be too focused on the digital world. Well done!