Finding The Strength To Take Those Final Few Steps
I’ve been in a strange place these past few months. It’s felt like I’m in limbo between my old life of working a corporate day job (perceived security, a set schedule, and structure) and a completely different new life of writing full time (freedom, excitement, and travel but lots of uncertainty.) It's been a long journey to get to this point and, boy, those last few steps are so damned difficult.
I keep getting these amazing flashes of freedom, brief moments in time where I feel like the transition into this new life might be easy. Each time I’m about to fully commit to taking the leap into this exciting abyss of uncertainty something happens, like the crypto markets crashing, that pushes my timeline back further. Sometimes my brain vomits up a myriad of perfectly logical excuses as to why I should wait just for THE PERFECT TIME.
A little backstory for those who aren’t aware, my life really has been in limbo since the day I published my first book over twenty years ago. I’ve had one foot in two different worlds for over two decades...a corporate job by day and pursuing my writing career in my spare time. I’m a Gen X’er, so I when I was entering the writing profession self-publishing wasn’t yet a viable option to make writing a full time gig. Literary agents and the publishers still held all the keys and decided who passed through the door and who didn’t. Through the first twenty years of my writing career I felt like I tried 10,000 ways that didn’t work. One day in July of 2016 I found the key that unlocked the door.
Since joining Steemit fourteen months ago my life has taken some very exciting and unpredictable turns. With the help of @fairytalelife my posts began to get noticed, I started publishing my first novel, Alarm Clock Dawn, in installments here on the Steemit blockchain along with a twenty year backlog of original poetry in the Summer of 2016. This led to the opportunity to present at SteemFest in Amsterdam last November.
“There are many talented people who haven't fulfilled their dreams because they over thought it, or they were too cautious, and were unwilling to make the leap of faith." - James Cameron
During SteemFest last year I remember thinking to myself that I needed to savor each and every moment of the experience as though it would be my last. I was still dwelling in that old, fear-based, mentality. I remember the day I presented being a very emotional one because, it felt like an apex. In a way, I felt like I just got extremely lucky and didn’t really deserve to be there. I knew how fickle good fortune and success as a writer can be and there were no guarantees that this amazing journey would ever continue beyond that point.
Then there was the winter of 2016, it was dark and cold in more ways than one. The price of Steem plummeted and many people left the platform in droves. This time period was a kind of cleansing. Those of us who stayed, realized that the Steemit community and our craft was more important to us than the money. I also used this time to take a deep dive into cryptocurrency and learning more about it. Those of us who stayed on Steemit trudged on, collaborated in new ways, and supported one another. Eventually, Steem and the platform fully recovered.
This past July 4th my wife and I were in downtown St. Paul watching the fireworks. I checked my phone and there was a message from @dougkarr letting me know about a film project he was working on and inquiring if I’d be interested in collaborating. Thankfully, I said yes, and this YES has blossomed into an amazing new friendship, project, and a transitional moment in my life.
Today, I experienced what most people would call an “a-ha moment” but I refer to as “mental hard fork”. I’m a firm believer that one of the main reasons we’re here in this physical world is to learn lessons and the universe presents these lessons to us as we’re ready for them. This time, I’ve been presented with a team of sherpas to guide me my last few steps.
This HardFork Film Series not only has allowed me to venture into new territories in my writing career but it's forced me to push beyond perceived boundaries in my own life. It’s as though every cell of my being is charged with excitement and I know this is where I’m supposed to be, this is what I’m supposed to do. This project has provided me with a team of unwitting guides that will, through their examples, help me to take the final few steps to the top of the mountain so I can see what it’s like on the other side. The air is rarefied here and, at times, it can make you feel a little dizzy but each day I'm getting a little more used to it.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that we can't plan for every conceivable outcome. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense, sometimes we feel scared, and there are times when we have no clue how we’ll get from Point A to Point B and this is okay. Maybe if we don’t feel scared sometimes we aren’t taking enough risks. Maybe we should learn to become more comfortable confidently leaping into the cool void of the abyss.
These past few months of working closely with @dougkarr, @andrarchy, and @the-alien (who are all Millennials) on the HardFork Film Series have taught this Gen X’er a hell of a lot about life. Finally, I feel like I have the strength to take these final few steps with confidence, take that leap of faith, and, hopefully, find my wings in the process.
Please follow our official Steemit account for the film series @hardfork-series. We are thrilled to announce we'll be debuting the HardFork Film Series Teaser Trailer at SteemFest2 in Lisbon! Hope to see you there!
*I am an American novelist, poet, traveler, and crypto-enthusiast. If you’ve enjoyed my work please sign up for my author newsletter at my website. Newsletter subscribers will receive exclusive updates and special offers and your information will never be sold or shared.
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Great read! Thank you for sharing @ericvancewalton. It is inspiring to hear stories like yours. Do not be afraid to take risks and fail!
Thanks, Dylan! You offer great advice!
I'm just stopping by to let you know that you're an inspiration to me. I don't say it many times but just the other day I was blown away by how you created two different storylines within minutes and asked us which one was best :)
Talent, is a beautiful thing and you have in abundance. The rest can always be figured out.
I've been so happy working with you guys on this , what a team right?
Limbo is a kinda scary kinda exciting place, it's for sure out of the comfort zone and maybe it's where the magic happens. Only you can know when to jump, but when you do, know that you're an inspiration. :)
Man, I don't know what to say but thank you. Your words leave me humbled beyond belief. I just consider myself lucky to be working with you guys. I have this feeling that we're all going to achieve something that we can't even comprehend yet with this project. The potential is huge, our team is strong, and the sky is the limit. The jump is coming very very soon, you guys will hear of it first. : )
Hi Eric, this is some beautiful writing (as always) and it's clear that you're in a very honest place with your state of affairs. This level of honesty tends to bring good decisions so I know that you will make the best decisions for you.
These kinds of crossroads have to be navigated by our own inner compass and each person has to listen carefully to his own since there are no right or wrong answers objectively, only individually.
This is a subject I consider regularly and am a person who has always taken quite the opposite path you have I've taken a few too many risks, rarely if ever choosing the safe road. I imagine that we have some very different perspectives yet maybe similar conclusions, I'm not sure.
"The air is rarefied here and, at times, it can make you feel a little dizzy"
I've lived the privilege of this rarefied air and it has nourished me deeply, but also come at a very steep cost. At this point in my life I have no regrets but I am looking for ways to shift my path ever so slightly to accommodate my increased need and value for certain kinds of solidity and security.
In any case, I have great faith in you and in your talent, cheers to the power of talent, good work along with a few well-timed miracles!!!
Thank you, Ruth! Yes, it sounds like we lived our lives on opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of taking risks. I have few regrets. For me, it feels like everything is unfolding in its proper time. I don't think I was ready for such a huge leap until now. I know that I have the discipline to do it.
There's such a huge shift coming and, for once, I really feel that greater appreciation for those of us in the creative professions will reach "mass adoption" along with cryptocurrency. Our jobs will probably be the last that AI can truly master (although sooner or later it will.)
Thank you so much for your vote of confidence, my friend! I can't wait to ride the wave of serendipity to see what happens!
Wow! Amazing post Eric!! So excited for you to take the leap. Investing in yourself and giving yourself the time to fully explore your artistic freedom is the best decision you'll ever make! So excited to be there with you trekking the pass!!
Thanks, Doug! I'm truly honored to be on this journey with you. The leap is happening very soon. Just one final arrangement to be made. : )
Wow . I can identify with you. I am in that stage where I am being crushed by fear. I moved to PA a few months ago to write a book and I have struggled. I know its all a learning experience and you story gives me hope. I will be following you. Good luck on your journey
I found it's more difficult than I imagined to take the leap but I've reached a point where I have to make a choice and my creative endeavors are more important to me than a job could ever be. Best of luck on your journey as well! I would highly recommend reading the book, Choose Yourself by James Altucher. I helped me tremendously, I suggest it to all of the creative people in my life. Thank you!
Thanks . It has been on my reading list
Yes, Vance Walton, the time is right.
Take off your reflect-ware... AND SEE!
My goggles came off and I've seen the light, Jelique. : )
Eric, life is not easy and not a smooth path ahead. There are curves, blocks, choices, pitfalls along the way. The goal is a dream so far out of reach that there will be days when you think, "Will I ever make it"? You will be challenged and many times you will question yourself, "Should I go on"?
Have you ever stopped to think what life would be like if you never ventured out with hope and a dream? Have you ever stopped to think how your life would be in stasis? Would you have been happier if you stayed in your corporate job, not risking and taking chances? Would you have met some very wonderful people on your life's path if you didn't move forward? Finally would you have been happier staying where it is safe but boring?
My life has been one of many obstacles and pitfalls but it didn't stop me from moving two steps forward for every step backwards. Some of my decisions weren't always the best but I learned from each and every one of them. It made me a fuller and better person. Looking back I would not change anything because it has made me who I am today.
You were put on this test of life so that you would be able to appreciate the full bounty of what you are receiving today. The kind of friends that you have made are priceless and the lessons you have learned has made you a wonderful and caring person. You have a very embracing soul that needed to be nurtured through all the ups and downs. Just think of your life as having so much texture that makes you real and three dimensional.
I am glad you took the risks that you did because it has given you a sense of freedom. Just enjoy everything for the given moment. Like Eckhart Tolle says, "Live in the Now"! Keep loving life, enjoy each moment and just live to the fullest!
You are so right, @cabbagepatch. I really believe each of us has a predetermined path and a certain set of lessons that we're meant to learn in life. I view the world as a schoolhouse. This feels like getting passed to the next grade in a way for me or maybe from under grad to grad school.
This platform and the people I've met here have been one of the biggest blessings of my entire life.
I'm so happy that I've taken risks for my art. I'm seeing such a change in everything since I've made this decision, it's as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I have less worry each day and feel less anxious, all signs are pointing to the fact that it's the right choice.
Living in the now is always the best thing to do! Thanks for your comment, friend!
You deserve what you have and should be praised for your grounded spirit that never changes despite what happens around you! That is a rare gift and gives you so much truism and realness. Take care! :)
I had a similar moment like that today as I spoke with two friends about a project for entrepreneurs that we have been working on. It truly is a step out of time as our spirit sees the wonder of sheer joy.
That perfect time is almost here Eric - you are certainly closer than you were before. The freedom life is around the corner.
Isn't that a great feeling, Lydon?! This is when there is no doubt we're treading the right path. Yes! The transition is only a few weeks away now. Thanks, as always, for the support!
Great to hear your thoughts on your journey so far!
Thank you, Ann!
Congrats brother on the life of financial freedom. I would like to know more of your story in hope to get inspiration to achieve my own goals and learned from your experience. If you have the time to share more of your life experience and your journey to financial freedom with me I would be very glad. You can contact me on discord or steemit chat. Thank you for the share. Keep doing the good work.
You're welcome, thanks for reading!