The adventures of Barnabas mud, Pt 2
“I invite you to a tree chopping duel,” he said. Whoever can chop down their tree the fastest wins and I will allow you to pass closer to my master.” He handed him an axe. “Do you accept?”
Barney did. Then, the lumberjack found 2 trees about 2.5 feet thick.
“On your mark-get set-GO!” Both Barney and the lumberjack started chopping. The lumberjack seemed to be accelerating his speed as he chopped, while Mud lagged close behind. He knew it was time to use the potion.
He took out the silver potion and drank it. Then, almost like magic, he immediately thought of some magic words:
“Skidaddle, Schidoodle, you arm is now a noodle!”
And, sure enough, the lumberjacks arm was indeed a noodle. Unable to keep chopping, Barney beat him, and so he was able to pass on.
Next up was the trained marksman. Barney almost didn’t meet him, for he shot an arrow at him just a millimeter above his head. When this didn’t work, he offered him a contest of marksmanship, an apple on the head contest, like Sophie had forseen. Barney accepted and went first. He took a musket and his bullet missed by a mile.
The Marksmen, when he got the musket, decided that his master wouldn’t like it if he even had a chance to let Barney through. So he decided he would shoot Barney instead.
But at that time, barney had drunk the pearlish potion, and had just then said the “Magic” words:
“Scheidegger, Scheidegger, I’ll make the bullet bigger.”
Immediately, the shot in the musket swelled to that of a cannonball, just as he was about to fire. It was too heavy, and he dropped his gun on his foot, unable to shoot, allowing Barney, once again, to pass.
The third and final Minion was waiting for Mud at the forest entrance, next to the coast. She wanted to challenge him to a test of attractiveness, just as the witches had forseen. Whoever got the best reaction out of the next person who travelled out of the wood would win.
Barney was not very attractive. But he had one last potion, so he accepted. He had 30 minutes to make himself look as handsome as possible. He ended up just washing his hair and face.
The first person to come out of the wood was a man, so the girl was up to bat. But then, Barney said the last words of his potion.
“Skadoosh, Skadam, your dress now smells like ham.”
The traveller, who, unfortunately, hated the smell of ham, back away slowly, then ran screaming for the hills.
Barney simply said hello to the first girl he found. Since she did not run away, he had yet again won the contest.
Then, something amazing happened.The girl seemed to start glowing with light, and rose up into the air. In the forest, three other beacons of light were shining, too. The expression on her face showed her somewhat remembering something. When it all had stopped, Barney finally realized who she and the other two men were - The Three!
Maylin looked up at Barney. “Young man, like we have saved your king, you have saved us from Karl’s evil spell. Upon trying to save the princess, he captured us and used black magic to enslave us. Thank you ever so much.”
Barney was happy but urgent. “Um, maybe we could move this along?” he said. So they gathered up Sylvester (The lumberjack) and Cameron (The musketeer), and headed up to Karl’s battleship.
But when they got there, they found that Karl was not there. In fact, Karl was not Karl at all. Karl was Taralune.
“I know you!” said Cameron. “You are that guy who had a war on the king!”
“Yes I did,” Taralune said with an evil grin. “I tried to get another war started by enslaving you and getting you to attack the king. But then this little creep got in my way!” He pointed at Barnabas. “So now, I’ll have to use my necromancy powers to make an army, destroy you guys, and THEN overthrow the king.” He positioned his hands to make a giant fireball.
“Get behind us!” Maylin shouted to Barney.
Barney remembered what the king had said before the adventure, but he figured this was an emergency. He shoved his way in front of the Three and started dancing in front of Tarlune.
“What are you doing?” Tarlune asked.
“Distracting you.”
The first, last and only thing that he saw after that was a silver bullet, and axe head and a sword blade crashing into his face.
Upon retrieving Abbi, Barney went home to the king, who was very pleased and a little uncomfortable.
“Sir Barnabas Mud,” he said, “I realize, after all that you have done for me, how pessimistic I have been these last 10 years. I am deeply sorry. If you don’t mind, can I re-knighthood you?”
“Of course” said Barney, bowning low.
“As king of Meinach, I re-dub you Sir Barnabas the Brave. You may rise. ”
After that, Barnabas the Brave had many adventures with the three, whom, after much consent, renamed themselves “The Furious Four.” And where they are today, I do not know. But they are probably having the time of their lives.
The End (Sorry i couldn't get it in one shot!)