I got a screaming, naggin’ wife,
Makes me wanna end my goddamn life,
Go head for the kitchen, grab a knife,
A quick end to all this suffering and strife.
Her grating voice chills me to the bone,
Why can’t I get some peace and quiet on my own?
It just don’t matter how much I bitch and I moan,
The only escape being perched on the porcelain throne.
Why she gotta criticise me all the damn time?
Pick fights, throws fits, a constant hollering and whine,
I bust my ass trying to save every nickel and dime,
Nine to five, trying to stay alive. Is that my only crime?
I can’t do nothing right, feel as useful as a concrete parachute,
Anymore of that droning crap, I’mma give myself the boot,
Down the road to the nearest bar, hoping she don’t give pursuit,
God I pray they playing Russian Roulette tonight, just pull the trigger and shoot.
Her voice is shrill, piercing as hell, if only I could shut down my brain,
But life don’t give you no emergency cord, just keeps you enduring the pain,
I was free long ago, when my home was my keep and these lands were mine to reign,
But that one paper sign, on that small dotted line… Freedom just got flushed down the drain.
Hope you enjoyed this, please look out for more on the way... (author: @ezzy)
Hahaha! Love it! Plus you know how I like my poetry to rhyme and you nailed it. Reminds me of this one I wrote long ago... remember it?
https://steemit.com/poetry/@getonthetrain/bachelorhood-an-original-poem-i-think-you-will-enjoy
Hey my bro! Lol, I remember your poem very well. In fact, it crossed my mind a few times as I wrote this one. Great to get inspiration from a "great" as you truly are. And I'm just chuffed you gave it your quality seal of approve.
Many, many thanks, my brother. :)
Hahaaaahaaaa!! Oh my God, I think this is even funnier because I just came from the exact opposite style of post from you!! Holy shit ez, I absolutely LOVE seeing this side of you, freaking hilarious!!!
Lol, thanks! It's just light hearted and not to be taken too serious. But when some of my friends have come over to chill after an arguement with their other half. Well, suffice to say, my inspiration for this stems from them, lol!
I on the other hand, have got the perfect wife who can never say or do any wrong. (wink wink).
Thank you, awesome @dreemit. Bless you for cheering me up today. :)
Daily Learn some new from your post. Love to read it.
Haha. Oops. I hope that's just a piece of some nice fiction.
Lol! Yes, only told in "jest". Not too worry. It's not some discreet cry of help or anything of that nature, lol. :)
Haha, that's what I thought. Great skill.
Lol this is funny. Haha
Marriage is a workshop
Where husband works... And the wife shops 😂
Lol! Ain't that the truth! :)
Nagging is a requirements for .... OK, i should write this down. :-)
Someone may downvote this
Lol... Don't read too much into it. :)
:-)
That was a nice read, creative and witty, well done look forward to more of your stuff 👊🏽👊🏽
Thanks for dropping by and imparting those kind words. :)
No problem 👊🏽👊🏽
Well don't let @rea see this! :D Haha! Just kidding, bro. This is so hilarious! Very well crafted. I really like the overarching emotion throughout the piece. Creative storytelling with the way things unfolded. As always, you never cease to amaze, and I'm happy that a lot of people are lucky to bear witness to your greatness :D
Lol, don't worry, I got permission from her first! Yeh, I thought I'd try something.a little more light-hearted and different so I'm glad it gets your valued seal of approval!
You're one of a kind, my bro! Thank you very much! :)
O sooo sweet dear @ezzy wonder expressions i really enjoyed to read it. Keep on sharing post like this. thanks
OMG--this is probably and exactly how the X feel and told me before...No wonder why we are now X X X.... :-) and so many divorces in the world!
Man, we all get a little pee'd off from time to time with that other "special" person in our lives. That's just natural. But hopefully things don't end in anything too permanent after it.
Thanks for stopping by. :)