'Your Story' - Steemit Story Chain #19 Where You Write the Story and 100 Whaleshares for the Winner
Welcome to the Steemit Story Chain
Good afternoon fellow Steemers and Steemians I hope your day is going well so far. It's time for another Steemit Story Chain where normally I would invite you all to finish writing a story that I start. However, this week I am going to do something different. For the new story chain I am going to ask you guys to start the story so you can have full control from start to finish.
I would like to say a big thank you to those who took part in the last story chain Not Quite Pleasantville, particularly to @beeyou, @viraythewitch and @glenalbrethsen. You all wrote some very interesting parts of the chain. It was a very close contest this week and a difficult one to determine, but a winner has now been decided.
@glenalbrethsen
You developed the great story set up by @beeyou in a very powerful and exciting way. You crammed your piece with descriptive detail and additional narrative, and made a great effort to develop the characters involved. You delivered your piece in a very well presented manner. Your style of writing is very impressive, so thank you for your contribution.
You have won 100 Whaleshares. Please reply with your Bitshares account information and I will send the Whaleshares to your account immediately. Enjoy! If you don't have an account don't worry it's very simple and completely free to set one up here - https://bitshares.openledger.info/?r=akrid-1.
A reminder of the winning part is detailed below:
Part 4, following @viraythewitch
You would have thought Clarissa had just announced she had dynamite and was about to blow us all to smithereens!
As if rehearsed, in unison, everyone bolted to their feet and began hollering at once. It was impossible to pick out of the sudden din of voices what all were yammering on about, but those immediate to me seemed to be splitting up into three camps.
One insisted we help Clarissa so as to avoid the ill-will Mother Crow Melda had bespoke, while another equally insisted the only way to avoid the ill-will was to unceremoniously dump the poor girl at the city limits without delay.
The third group largely wrung their hands, cried, "Oh no, oh no!" each time one or the other side made an increasingly dire comment, and when asked, "Well, then, out with it! What do you think?" shook their head and exclaimed, "I don't know! I just don't know!"
Now, I'm not well-versed in town politics or parliamentary procedure—I'd only just been allowed into a couple town meetings on account I'd come of age a few moons back (the rule's changed over the years, but presently, you needed to be 15 to attend)—but I'd witnessed enough in my short time to know this spectacle could go on all night. It'd already happened over more trivial things, like the most effective ways to swat the late summer lake flies so that they stayed dead.
Instead of participating in the uproar, I squeezed my way out of my row and went to the back of the hall. To her credit (or foolhardiness for not turning tail and running), Clarissa still clung to the door frame, overcome by the overwrought melodrama unfolding unabashedly before her.
I admit, it was quite the display, even for the townsfolk of Macklefield. Old, misunderstood prophecies of potential doom will do that, I guess.
Since there was little chance we could hold a proper conversation with all the noise, I simply gave Clarissa a wan smile and turned her back into the entryway and out into the night. It wasn't until we were out in the warm autumn air and under the half-moon that I attempted to speak.
"I'm Laureal," I said. My hand was still clenching her shoulder from directing her to this spot, but it wasn't until now that I noticed her skin was ice cold. Her complexion was paler than it should be, too. "Are you all right?"
"Someone's after me." She turned to show me her back. There was a jagged tear in her T-shirt. I parted it and discovered charred flesh that was swollen with infection. I'm no physician, but it was a miracle with that kind of angry wound that she was even conscious, let alone still on her feet.
I winced. "We need to get you to Old Doc Rohan."
"N-no." Weakly, she faced me again. "I need to know if you're all going to help me. I'm being followed by the person who did this to me. I think I was able to put a few days between us, but she will eventually find me. She always does. Even if I wasn't hurt, I can't keep running. One way or another, it needs to end."
Well, I don't know about you, but that kind of declaration doesn't slip past me without ought near a hundred questions springing to life inside my head. I was about to commence a thorough but gentle interrogation when a tremendous boom was heard from back inside the hall.
"She's here!"
Clarissa dropped to the ground, throwing her scrawny arms over her head. I couldn't help smiling like a fool, but managed to stifle the laugh. She looked all small and pitiful, trembling with a mixture of fever and fear, but it was still funny. In a morbid kind of way.
"Don't worry, child," I said, "That's just Wordell. He can detonate air. Kind of a senseless ability, but it's pretty useful in getting someone's attention. That'll mean everyone's done squabbling for the moment and maybe you can tell us your story."
Now moving onto this week's new story chain, as previously stated I am doing something a little different for this story chain. This week I want you guys to start the story instead of me and then continue it, so you are writing the entire story. It works completely in the same way as normal but it's just that this week you are also starting the story. I hope you like the idea. You can write about anything and in any genre you wish. You have a completely blank canvass to channel your creative juices. Don't forget if you wish to take part upvote and resteem this post. Use the comment box to start the story and then develop it. Make sure you number your part of the story so we know where your continuing. Be as ambitious and original as possible. And have fun with it!
This contest is sponsored by Whaleshares and I owe a big thank you to @akrid and @officialfuzzy. There are 100 Whaleshares for the winning entry. If you would like to learn more about Whaleshares and how they can increase your post rewards please visit https://steemit.com/whaleshares/@eirik/guide-on-how-to-use-whaleshares-updated-version where @eirik will gladly explain more to you.
What I am looking for in order to determine the winning entry is as follows:
- A strong sense of imagination
- Creative intelligence
- Originality
- Narrative fluidity (ensuring the story chain links smoothly)
- Use of language, grammar and syntax (we need to understand what you're saying!)
The winner will be announced in a week's time. A new post will be published then announcing the winner along with a new story chain.
Part One of Your Story
Please begin writing the story.
Part 1: Running across the garden, the cool breeze making darts out of autumn leaves and late spreading seed as I race away from my sister, laughing at her as she lags behind. I can feel the prickles of grass bending under my feet as I head to the old gate, weathered and worn from years of holding the cattle in and the world out, the finish line of our childhood. As usual I'd always reach it first, Anna second. “Adeline, wait!” Not a chance though, not when I'm so close to winning our first race in years. “Adeline! Wait!” I'm almost there, but the tone is different. This time, panicked and sharper, and just as I think that another realisation hits – I can't feel the ground.
My first thought is that I've fallen, like how in an accident when you know you're slamming forward and the seatbelt is still tightening? Everything runs slowly and you can almost see it frame by frame even though it only takes a second. Less than a second really, barely a moments decision.
Or indecision. Indecision got me here now. If I'd been just a little faster in my reactions or thought more, or maybe less, perhaps Anna could have helped me. Perhaps someone could have helped me. Yeah, someone. I thought I was falling so I reached out toward the old gate, ever too slowly, felt it's wood under my fingertips, the way it was cracked and the paint splintered, and then felt it move out of reach. And all the time Anna was screaming my name we moved further apart, as she came into view and became smaller, quieter and finally, silent.
Hey @tenebrisplay thank you for your entry, the winner has been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/your-story-steemit-story-chain-20-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner.
@freedomexists, reblogging so my friends who like to write see this... @abigail-dantes... you should have no problem submitting for this!
Hey thanks @karencarrens, much appreciated.
So, we write the full story or just the opener for now? Does it go into the comments section?
I'm a bit new here, sorry!
Hey @tenebrisplay, yes this week I want you guys to start the story also. You use the comment box to write your part and then the next writer develops the story from the previous part.
Gotcha! Well, I'll make a start then.
Part 2:
Total darkness obscured my view. I felt a pain like nothing I had ever felt in my years on this earth. Slowly I came to and the pain hit me, almost like an electrical shock bringing me back to consciousness.
I blinked, but still the darkness hovered in my sight, glimmers of sunlight peeking around the edges. Where was I? Where was my sister? Confusion filled my mind as I squinted and tried to lift my hands to rub my eyes.
Panic filled me and my heart started racing. I couldn't feel my hands, they weren't obeying my brain. I started to feel a choking sensation filling my throat, my lungs. My body refused to cooperate and lay there, still, unmoving, unresponsive.
Finally after what seemed like hours, my vision started to clear. I was facing up, looking directly into the sun, the bright light causing flashes of light even as I closed my eyelids against the pain. I heard a low, guttural groan that I didn't recognize and it took me a minute to realize it was coming from me.
I opened my eyes once more and slowly came into focus on Anna... she was so far away. Her mouth was moving and she was obviously in a complete panic. I vaguely wondered what she could be upset about when it hit me again... I was trapped here in my body that refused to obey my commands. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak.
The only thing I could feel in my body was a shiver of panic that started in my toes and worked its way slowly upwards, enroaching on my mind with an utter horror that I couldn't yet comprehend...
Hey @byn thank you for your entry, the winner has been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/your-story-steemit-story-chain-20-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner.
Part 4:
From the depth of unconsciousness I swam toward the surface struggling for a breath. It seemed far above me and I feared I would gasp in the foul waters of the deep long before I got there. I did gasp, but I didn’t drown. My eyes opened once again upon the world.
A green sky hovered above, a glowing incandescence. The sound of a gurgling brook and the strange, pulsating whistle pushed its way into my head. I couldn’t smell the earth or the sweetness of the long grass. My nostrils filled instead with the sharp scent of alcohol and disinfectant. I felt cool and comfortable and extremely calm. Where was I?
“Anna?” I tried to speak and almost choked. I bit down and felt the rubbery resistance of a tube running down my throat. To my left was a metal tower supporting a bottle filled with pink liquid and a tube that wound its way down and into my arm.
Hospital. I’m in a hospital! With great effort I turned my head to face the strange sounds. As I suspected, I saw the electronic monitor and the wires connected to my body. But something wasn’t quite right. It didn’t look like any vitals monitor I’d ever seen before. Instead of the spiky sine wave indicating my cardiac function, a prismatic bar pulsed through a select spectrum of color. The numbers that should have indicated my pulse rate and other parameters were as unintelligible to me as Sanskrit. What was wrong with me? If this was a hospital room it was like no other I’d ever seen before.
I felt no pain, but my body sensations were fully alive, fully awake. The bed was so comfortable, almost too comfortable. I felt I was floating yet a slight downward press with my arm met resistance without the softness of a sheet, only pressure. I moved my legs and arms as much as I could, but they felt strapped down, as did my head. I wiggled my fingers and toes. Without seeing them I knew they moved. Nothing broken, nothing missing.
From what I could see, my room had no corners, only rounded walls that, like the ceiling, emitted a somber, green glow. To my left I spied one area that stood out: an arched, unlit semicircle. As I tried to discern what it meant, it emitted a whoohishing sound and slid from view. A dark shadow stood in the doorway.
Hey @citizenzero thank you for your entry, the winner has been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/your-story-steemit-story-chain-20-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner.
Part 3:
Because of all the panic and pain i was feeling, i must have passed out and next thing i remember is that i could barely open my eyes and see a really bright white room and strange devices which looked like medical ones, like those you find in a hospital, attached to my bed where i was lying and probably to my body as well. I was feeling very weak and i couldn't turn my head to see more and try to understand more of what was happening to me. Thanks God, Anna was right beside me, folding my hand and telling me i shouldn't try to speak and keep all the strength i got so i can recover faster. Before falling asleep again i remember her sweet and very comforting words:
"- Try to rest my dear! I am right here beside you and i will never leave! Everything will be alright soon, just rest!"
I remember waking up and seeing this woman dressed in a white robe telling my sister that they need to keep me for a few more days to keep me under observation and that she shouldn't be too worried. She added that i should try to eat as soon as i feel more stronger and that next time we should be thinking twice when we decide to play a silly innocent game and choose a better location for it.
Hey @sunnyali thank you for your entry, the winner has been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/your-story-steemit-story-chain-20-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner.
Deleted as requested.
Don't think I can really push this story further. Might be able to expand on it but this has been fun, thank you!
Hey can you please delete your second part, you are only allowed one entry.
I thought you wanted to us to begin and finish the stories we wrote and tag them as part 1/2/3 etc? Or am I just getting confused with the post and comments?
@tenebrisplay
Each person writes a different part. You add one part, another person adds another part and so on. The idea is that at the end you have one hopefully cohesive story written collaboratively by several authors. It is a really cool exercise!
@byn
Part 1:
Death was an omen I had not foreseen for a child who just came out of his mother’s womb. Death of aging grandparents was expected as they had lived for many years. Death of parents fighting a terminal disease was of no surprise. However, death of a two-month-old newborn was the least anticipated and had shocked his parents to the core.
My friend, Mel, had just experienced childbirth and being a mother for the first time in her life to a lovely baby boy, Justin. He was born healthy, and mother and baby had gone home celebrating a new addition to the family. The parents, Mel and her husband, David, had been ecstatic and had the nursery room painted blue and ready for this new arrival. Baby Justin had been the love of his parents and grandparents. He had been eating and sleeping well.
On one terrible, stormy night when Mel had gone to nurse him, she found that baby Justin was no longer breathing. This discovery had crippled her thoughts and immobilized her for ten minutes until at last, reality kicked in and she screamed for her life. In this case, it was the life of her first and only child.
They had driven to the hospital in rage and disbelief. Luckily, they had not caused an accident in a road rage. The doctor proclaimed Justin dead as soon as the baby had arrived. He had died from a congenital heart disease.
It was an incredible finding to Mel and David because neither of them had a family history of heart disease. Moreover, neither Mel’s parents nor David’s parents had a history of heart disease. The results had them all baffled, until Mel shouted out, in pain and shame, that David was not the father of baby Justin.
Hey @magicmage thank you for your entry, the winner has been announced and a new story chain has begun - https://steemit.com/story/@freedomexists/your-story-steemit-story-chain-20-where-you-write-the-story-and-100-whaleshares-for-the-winner.
Congratulations @glenalbrethsen!
Thank you, @beeyou. It was fun. I might have to try it again. :)
Hey @glenalbrethsen, can you please give me your Bitshares account name so I can send you your prize of 100 Whaleshares. If you don't have a Bitshares account please check the post and use the link to set up a free one.
@freedomexists—Thank you for the extremely kind words regarding my portion of the story. This is a great contest and a fun exercise.
Is there a way to contact you other than through comments? I'd like to speak to you about another matter.
Hey dude, yes find me on Discord. I hang out in the Whaleshares server. A link to the Whaleshares server is here - https://discord.gg/RRDzn6c.
Wait! He won! That is awesome! Congrats @glenalbrethsen!
I did! It was fun to do, and I might even try again. As you know, writing fiction (my own) is what I really want to do around here. It's great to have an opportunity to test the waters to see what people think about what I can do.
Yeee haaaaww and woo hooo! You better play again my friend.
@beeyou—I should've said this before (got too excited, I guess, or I'm just inept), but thank you for your part, too. It gave @viraythewitch and myself more to go on and something to develop. Following right after @freedomexists' set up seems the hardest to me, because you have to the first to fill in the details. But you did it and it helped me out a lot.
Lol, enjoy the wining moment! No worries @glenalbrethsen. 🙂
Actually, I was afraid I didn’t give others room to develop the story when no one else joined the contest. You both did such a great job continuing. I loved your entry, especially at the end with Wordell and his senseless ability! I’ld love to read more of your writing. I like this contest because you can explore your creativity. I don’t have the creativity to write fiction, but enjoy the idea of everyone contributing bits and pieces to a story. Who knows, one day a story could inspire @freedomexists to write a screenplay. That would be awesome if that happens.
Hello there @glenalbrethsen and @beeyou !
First of all, my congratulations as well for winning, glenalbrethsen, you really did an awesome job and I enjoyed reading your par very much, too. You really deserved it. And I agree that beeyou wrote a good startup for the story to develop.
I must say, I'm a bit confused about this round, because everybody is continuing here, but there is another post going on, where the first part of @tenebrisplay was announced as the first part and I thought it was continuing there... Maybe someone can help me out, though I'm enjoying to read so far anyhow :)
Have a great day!
this kind of contest is what I expect, I show a strong imagination and a straight story line, thanks @freedomexists. I love you