Meet A (Young-ish) Baby Boomer: The Guy Who Is Fascinated By Passionate Humans
A Glimpse: Rick enjoys cooking up parodies of his favourite songs. If you were to give him a call during December, you might hear 'Love, Actually' in the background.
As a person who enjoys finding possible connections within my contacts, I've started this series as a way of making introductions happen faster (the more minds brainstorming....the more effective the result...right?).
Each person featured in the series would be answering 36 questions. And yes, a number of them are from the famed '36 questions' that allow two people to have a deeper connection (by getting to know one another via a set of questions) in a short amount of time.
As for the questions, they do change from time to time. Whether it be because the person wanted to skip a question (or two) or I get a 'light-bulb moment' that another question would be more interesting it its place.
Q#1: You're flying business class and the flight is about 15 hours. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want seated next to you?
A#1: A recently retired airline pilot. I can speak at length with anyone who has a passion for a topic; I once spoke with the host of a dinner party about his Koi fish for two hours. I find that pilots are usually passionate about their work, and the bonus here is that if both of the pilots on my plane collapsed, I would be sitting next to our savior.
Q#2: If you were to give a TED talk, what would it be about?
A#2: My topic would be "It's not about Winning, it's about Succeeding." Success in our society has recently and frequently and crassly been described as being simply about winning. That is such an inadequate and immature way to describe how people succeed on this planet. As hard as it may be to actually accept, it's not about winning the game, it's about how well you succeed in reaching your potential when playing the game. I have been working on this essay for about three months and intend to submit it to a major magazine next spring.
Q#3: Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
A#3: Frequently. I prefer accuracy and brevity on the phone because I don't like talking on the phone. I use texts and emails in most business situations. I like to be able to craft and edit my thoughts, as I am prone to talk too much as well as misspeak.
Q#4: What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
A#4: Today. I try to make each day as perfect as I can. My day is made up of sharing time with my partner, painting, writing, hiking, reading, and contacting family; add a veranda with a good view and it's as close to perfect as I can imagine.
Q#5: When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
A#5: I sing to myself nearly everyday. I sang a parody of "Leaving on a Jet Plane" which I called "Eating on a Hot Plate" to my partner recently because we are foodies.
Q#6: If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
A#6: I'm closing in on 70 and I still like the way my mind works but my body hurts every morning – so I would choose the 30 year old body (I am assuming this body is vigorously healthy and I'm not a heroin addict). I'd choose body over mind because I believe that a 30 year old mind is like a recently bottled wine: you won't experience it fully unless you give it time to reach its potential. In time, your mind ripens and shines but your body ages and fades.
Q#7: Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
A#7: I don't intend to live in great pain so I will end things if that is the case; if I'm not in great pain, I'll just die when my body gives up.
Q#8: Name three things you'd like to have in common when you next meet someone.
A#8: 1. Someone who will turn off their phone so we can talk; phones have become essential to living on this earth but once in a while you have to sincerely focus your attention on what's right in front of you in order to appreciate life. 2. The person should utilize their critical thinking skills; people today accept too readily whatever they see or read in social media and have few thoughts of their own. 3. I am drawn to people with a sense of humor because they see connections and make suppositions that alleviate the wear and tear of daily living; life is constantly challenging, and seeing and appreciating the irony and silliness of it helps you laugh, and survive.
Q#9: For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
A#9: The love I've experienced giving and accepting.
Q#10: If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
A#10: This is a hard one. I really liked my childhood. That's why I never left it. Now some people are going to ask questions about that answer, such as: do you have a Peter Pan complex, or what trauma are you trying to avoid from childhood, or do you think it's healthy to act like you're a kid? Okay. I'm not Peter Pan, I wasn't traumatized, and I think it's healthy to act like a kid whenever you can. Because kids know how to have fun, kids are curious, kids are playful, kids are honest, and kids look at things with fresh eyes because everything is new to them.
Q#11: If you were to tell your life story as quickly as possible, how would it go? (4 minute limit)
A#11: At 13 I decided to become a writer because it looked like an easy way to make a living. It wasn't.
Q#12: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
A#12: The ability to recognize, and heal, people's emotional problems.
Q#13: If you could find out the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
A#13: Is there a Purpose?
Q#14: Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
A#14: Traveling to Africa and India. I'm too old for a backpacking, adventurous trip.
Q#15: What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
A#15: Giving my kids love, and confidence in themselves.
Q#16: What do you value most in a friendship?
A#16: Honesty. You won't know yourself unless you're honest. You can't share yourself if you don't know who you are.
Q#17: What is your most treasured memory?
A#17: My daughter, age 37 minutes, grabbing my little finger and not letting go for over an hour.
Q#18: What is your most terrible memory?
A#18: Seeing my mother dead in her bed.
Q#19: If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
A#19: I would try to think less, which would give me more time to do things.
Q#20: What film or TV show makes you feel really hopeful each time you watch it (that you can get through anything life throws at you)?
A#20: Despite its unintended misogyny and intended romanticism (thus the name of its genre), "Love, Actually" reaffirms my feeling that love, indeed, is all around: you just have to actively look, and engage with the world, in order to discover it. My partner and I watch the movie once a year between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and quote lines back and forth throughout the year, usually to punctuate an actual moment of realization in our daily lives.
Q#21: What roles do love and affection play in your life?
A#21: None whatsoever... Sorry – I read the question as "what roles do love and affection play in Donald Trump's life?". As in most people's lives, in my life love and affection play critical roles in creating my happiness and grief, my joys and regrets, and the reasons why I keep doing what I do.
Q#22: Why Do you do the things that you do?
A#22: I don't know what this question means because I don't know what "things" means. If it is referring to my actions in general, it is because I try to be nice, and fair, and honest, in hopes that the karma spreads. If it is asking about my work, I write and paint because I like to express myself and to provoke (and perhaps entertain) an audience.
I think the world is strangely, stunningly, funny. One of my frustrations in my abstract art is that it is nearly impossible to convey my sense of humor and any social satire in my work, and even more difficult to convince my audience that it's there.
Q#23: How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
A#23: I would say we are "normally" "close and warm". Yes, my childhood seems happier than most others that I've been told about or read about.
Q#24: If you suddenly had $20,000 to spend on someone.. How would you spend it? (And...it can be for multiple people...you just can't spend it on yourself)
A#24: I was astonished to learn that $600 a week during the Covid crisis made such a major difference in so many people's lives, so I would directly and incrementally disperse the $20,000 to people in need as I encountered them or read about them.
Q#25: What is the one improvement on yourself you know you can do now that you have been putting off?
A#25: Eliminating procrastination.
Q#26: Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ..."
A#26: Completing this sentence. Because I don't have an answer. So I asked my partner for help. Her actual reply: "It seems like completing a sentence is far too tough a task for me this morning. Because NOTHING came to mind." So much for sharing with her. I know enough people with whom I can share the things I like to do. Except tennis. I don't know anyone who plays tennis. But since I don't play tennis, it's not a big problem.
Q#27: What's the most important thing your close friends know about you?
A#27: I'm pretty honest. (I think the "pretty" in that sentence supports the response.)
Q#28: What are the three things that frustrate you about other people? (Are there things that frustrate you before that they don't now? Are there things about people in general that frustrate you before and now...or you're not bothered?)
A#28: 1. Many people don't look at the "big picture", they see only what benefits them, and then act accordingly. 2. Though I believe almost all people care about others, in today's world many people actually do and say things which denigrate and demean others, which is very destructive to any form of civilization. 3. Many people do not develop or use their critical thinking skills.
Q#29: What's an embarrassing moment in your life that you were able to get over? (Is there something that you still have yet to get over?)
A#29: I smoked cigarettes in my sister's house, as did our parents. Years later I realized how awful that was and apologized to my sister who, being the most wonderful person in the world, told me to forget about it. I apologized a few more times before I accepted that she was okay with my inexcusable disregard for her family's health. (I made the father of the bride toast at my daughter's wedding and it was the worst public speaking I have ever done. Everyone said it was okay but I know it was not; I rehearsed what I would say because I wanted it to be perfect when I should have just spoken the feelings in my heart. I will never get the moment back and my toast embarrasses me to this day.)
Q#30: When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
A#30: 2-3 months ago, due to frustration and relief, when my partner and I spoke about me being on the spectrum. 6 months ago, due to overwhelming happiness and awe, after a conversation with my daughter, when it really hit me that she was pregnant and that I was going to be a grandpa.
Q#31: What do your friends like about you best?
A#31: Maybe my humor. Maybe my thought processes. Maybe my hair. Definitely not my ability to make a decision.
Q#32: What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
A#32: Nothing. Though a jokester should remember the old saying that comedy is tragedy plus time; sometimes you just have to wait a while until something can be joked about.
Q#33: If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
A#33: I would probably regret not having invited my doctor to dinner and telling her about my recent shortness of breath. Short of that, I tell all my family that I love them each time we talk; of all the things I regret in life, I could not describe any one of them in particular as being existent primarily due to a lack of communication.
Q#34: Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
A#34: Since it is excluded in the premise of the question, the obvious answer would be my phone because it is extremely hard to exist in today's world without a phone (and it contains photos). If my phone is in my pocket I would take the photo of my children laughing in Venice since it is not in my phone. If that photo is safely in the car, I would take my painting "Thirteen Moons" because it is the best of my 600 paintings and I could never paint it again.
Q#35: Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
A#35: There is no "most" for me to consider in this question. The death of my son, my daughter, or my partner would be very "disturbing".
Q#36: What's your theme song?
A#36: "O Canada". Because that's where I thought I was moving until the last election. I don't have one theme song but the poignancy of "Fire and Rain" gets to me each time, "It's a Beautiful Day" is always an uplifting and welcome hear, and "Nessun Dorma" stirs my soul every time.
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Rick Doehring is a painter based in Santa Barbara. You can find more about his work here. For a chance to cross paths with him, pop in when he exhibits at 10 West Gallery. He's likely the one wearing a black tee with white text like: “Rocket Science – it's not Abstract Art”.
Photo by Nicolás Almaraz
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Would you like to do the next one? You just let me know your best email address and I’ll send you the question template to fill in. Your mini-bio would be your anonymised name (You can pick…or let me pick for you --- that is if you would appreciate an introduction, but just prefer I do it privately. However, if you are open to link to your site, Twitter/Instagram feed...then I will keep your name and link to those feeds!), age, city and some quick facts about you (2-3 sentences) that you have not yet revealed while answering the questions.
As I am a big supporter of privacy, you have the option of giving an approximation of your age or the generation you belong to (example: 'Young Millenial').
If you've already completed the exercise, you are more than welcome to link to your post (whether or not it is on Steemit) as a comment (just hit the reply button in-line with the social sharing links)!
Also...If you think I should switch any of the questions with something else...go for it. Feedback is welcome here.
Previous posts from this series:
- Drummer Facination (Cuong)
- The Guy Who Doesn't Use A Keyring (Lee)
- IRL Pokemon Curiosity (Joe*)
- No Lemon In Tea (Don*)
- No Guilt For Doing Nothing (Jason*)
- Mountain View Lover (Art*)
For upvoting, I had heard from Steve Clark, that it is better to upvote posts that are less than 7 days old. So if you would like to be sure I get rewarded, head here to see newer posts.
After reading this post (specifically item one), I've decided to include links for verification so any of the witnesses can confirm that I am me! :) #1 - Here's a tweet linking to one of my Steemit posts #2 - Here's a page on my site with a Tweet from my handle embeded #3 - Here's my Thrive Feed(that links to my site, which links to my Twitter feed...which links to my Steemit feed...)
Posts Index:
- Stories from The Moth
- Viewer Timestamp Commentaries
- The Pun Collection (Pizza or Diner)
- Cinematic Shots
- Meet A - Individuals answer 36 questions for you to get more of a glimpse about them.
- The Poster Collection - If 1,000 people came up to me to ask to put anything I wanted ton their walls...these are among the ones you'll find.
- The Trailer Collection
- even if I rarely watch them, I still find films I end up watching
browsing through distributor and production YouTube Channels. - Writer References -
I am constantly stretching myself as a writer and even if a
writing exercise doesn't end up for the public's consumption, I feel
like it still contributes in every way. (Here's another screenplay entry) - Entries that should have been published elsewhere. Thinking about it this and this could have been more of a fit for my Thrive feed.
Search Terms: Boomer / Boomers / Baby Boomers / Getting To Know You / Connection / The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings / interpersonal closeness / Arthur Aron / Getting To Know You /
/ Parent / Leveling Up / Koi / Leaving on a Jet Plane / Success / Fatherhood / Love Actually / Richard Curtis / End Of The Year / Generosity / Honesty / Influence /