I SAVED TOMORROW
Shaken but planted to my position on the white tiled floor already threatened by the droplets of blood - finding each other through the lock lines - moving to take over like the anger I felt some minutes ago. I stare now at my palms in the toilet sink under running water. Flashes of what just happened keeps replaying in my head as I pick out a huge piece of glass stuck in my flesh.
It probably got stuck when I rolled off the couch after breaking his head with the wine bottle; or could it be from the pieces of broken centre table scattered across my living room when he fell from my hard strike? None of that matters now. None of these open wounds hurt as much as the scars left on my heart by those who I have trusted.
My palms stared back at me still oozing blood from their cracks. I hoped the water would wash away the sin I just committed like the blood going down the drain as I avoided the mirror above my head for fear of seeing the damage that had been done to my face or the guilt that may have being imprinted on my forehead.
An hour ago, I would never have thought myself capable of this havoc I just wrecked but here I am between mixed feeling. Glad that I finally had the courage to or afraid of the person I had let my predators make me. It wasn't my fault either ways... It had been going on long enough and it had to stop! Only problem is, it was my best friend Tobi that I had to start with. I killed him on the eve of his wedding and I'm not sorry!
Or maybe I am. Sorry for taking so long to face this fear. Sorry for not standing up for myself and the girl in the corner. I am sorry for all the women who have had to endure and suffer rape from the hands of their brothers, fathers, uncles, husbands and friends. I am sorry that they had to go through such fate to save their lives, feed their families, save their marriages, get a favour or even for no reason at all.
I am sorry that they endure such fate daily yet the society imposes silence on such issues and empowers one gender over another.
Tobi would have been married to a beautiful unsuspecting woman who may never know what her husband was capable of. Who may never know that on their wedding eve he drove over to his best friend home only to rape her. Or he would have had a daughter who would never know that her father could hurt a fly and she'd celebrate him as 'the world's best dad'.
I saved them all. I saved us all. I saved tomorrow!
- Sandra T. Adeyeye, Author of Woman and Founder NiWco_street.
