Social Experiment Complete: The Results Are In and I'm Disappointed in Myself

in #story6 years ago (edited)

I came here and became an arts and entertainment blogger, I think?
Now, I simply want a genuine following and honest support.
(Whatever that means.)

This is my story.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Success.jpeg

September 19, 2016

I was outside, smoking a cigarette.

I hated my life then. More than I do now.

I'm a loner, by choice. Always have been, always will be. I prefer to sit back and watch the show rather than join in on all of the dullness and predictable behavioral patterns. If I had a remote, I'd attempt to change the channel when it comes to these people, but I'll most likely find more of the same shit, so there's no point in wasting good batteries.

Inside, my mind is a circus at the carnival in the middle of a war-zone during a hockey game and our team just scored while I'm going down a waterslide under the fireworks on Christmas morning as a little boy. It's fun, but in normal social situations, people don't have time for my shit. Too busy taking life seriously, chattering about the entertainment they enjoy rather than being entertaining, or at least interesting.

So I finished my cigarette,

and came back inside because those people suck.

I was a content consumer then. What choice did I have, and who isn't?

So now it's my turn to bore you to death with words about the entertainment my brain consumed that day.

Isn't this exciting!

Youtube was doing it's thing the entire time I was away. Auto-play was engaged; one random video after another.

I entered the room and heard the voices inside my laptop saying, "A new blogging platform that pays writers."

That was enough. I was intrigued.

The video wasn't about Steemit. It wasn't an advertisement. It wasn't a video I would have selected to watch had I made the choice. Just two Americans talking about random things like their version of freedom and a few other topics I found to be dull and repetitive.

The link to Steemit was in the description. I bookmarked the video so I could click later, when I had a moment.

I didn't look at any of the content here upon arrival.

I went straight for the sign up button.

It was now September 20, 2016. My Steemit account was ready to roll.

I'd look around, I'd see people complaining about how difficult things were. I didn't know what something like Markdown was until I saw someone complaining about the fact they needed to know things like that in order to be able to succeed here. So I quickly googled 'markdown', found a cheat sheet, and spent the next five minutes learning how simple Markdown is.

The blog took awhile to shape up and master. I spent nearly one month going unnoticed, though a few people did trickle in to see what I was up to. I think I made about eighteen cents in that time. That was fine though, because I was still learning. Everyone knows one can't make money without an education.

I published a few successful posts, finally, over the span of the next month of applying my new skills. It wasn't enough though. I was hungry. I wanted more. I knew I was worth it.

I saw the others. The trending page was full of unique and impressive individuals. I'm not kidding you either. We had novel chapters, foodie blogs, travel blogs, artwork; you name it, it was there. Something for everyone. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be like them, by being me.

Impossible

Or so I thought.

It wasn't until I started to kill people when things really started to take off.

One by one I'd just take them out. It was easy. Many were amateurs. They were encouraged to be genuine, open, and honest. It was easy to find them. They'd announce everything. Where they've been, what they're up to, and where they're going.

Like shooting fish in a barrel.

I remember the first time I filled my gas tank with my earnings from pretending to be a warm, fuzzy, good guy blogger. I then drove the van to the store. Tried to explain Steemit to the cashier as she bagged up my supplies:

  • Rubber mallet (less mess)
  • Hornet killer spray (sprays far, burns eyes)
  • Rope
  • Chain
  • Boxing gloves
  • Shake N' Bake
  • Coffee filters
  • Filleting knife
  • Condoms (easier than wrapping their heads in plastic wrap, lube to the inside)
  • A toy Brontosaurus action figure
  • Stapler
  • Staples
  • Snoop Dogg CD
  • Gas can
  • Handsaw (24 inch blade)
  • Popsicle sticks
  • Bucket
  • Mop
  • An illustrated book about birds
  • Garbage bags
  • 200 rearview mirror air fresheners (the tree ones)
  • Chainsaw

The conversation about Steemit was enough to confuse her and worked as a distraction. It's risky making purchases like that when anybody with a brain should be able to tie it all together and know a few murders are about to go down; but like I said earlier, people are predictable. Misdirection is a cinch.

I slit her throat anyway though.

Shelley - Copy.jpeg
She didn't see it coming either.

I clawed my way up the rankings.

One blogger at a time.

They look bigger in their pictures.

It was incredible though. I was gaining popularity as I dropped them for kicks.

Sit, wait, watch; they'd login, drop a comment, I'd pounce. Do the deed, send a few transfers my way. Easy fame and fortune. While this was all happening, the value of our tokens was dropping. One day they were blogging about how great the place is; the next, gone. People thought they quit and would start rumors about how the dead were just doing it all for the money. I didn't even have to clean up. Those gossipers were doing it for me. Life was perfect.

Then I got sloppy.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Forgot
Forgot my camera inside the house. Cops found it and put me all over their own trending pages.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Slap
I thought it looked cool. Didn't think about fingerprints and DNA. Oops.

Five Months

I was gone.

Transferring a few tokens around in prison was easy.

It was costly, but I had someone on the inside tamper with evidence. They had no choice but to let me out before the trial.

Everyone was happy to have me back here. That was nice of you.

The thing is: I'm a bit disappointed in my progress lately. I haven't been trending. I hope I don't have to go back to the store; if you know what I mean.

Have a nice day.

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Credits:
All images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
"Thanks in advance for saving your life. You know what to do."

© 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse. All rights reserved.
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"I was outside, smoking a cigarette."
"I prefer to sit back and watch the show rather than join in on all of the dullness and predictable behavioral patterns."
"but like I said earlier, people are predictable. "

"Misdirection is a cinch."
Yes! In a nutshell :-)

But who's going to crack all these nuts?

Your nuts haven't been cracked yet? Who would have guessed!

Just waiting for the right cracker.

In Thailand, a woman who is trained to have extensive conscious control over her vaginal muscles is known as a "nut cracker" :-)

I have heard rumors that they are highly prized as wives :-)

I've always wanted to try some authentic Thai food.

Ah, that was smashing. You really got me with the start to kill people step change!!! Awesome!

@NoNamesLeftToUse. Smashing curve balls out of the park since 2016.

Thanks for coming to the show today.

Did I ever mention that I thought you were a lady when I first came across you and that your name was Louise?

No. Well maybe. That's something I'd try to forget. Those were dark days. I don't work the streets like that anymore.

that really was something blasting i agree

Trending is tough these days you will have to perfect your methods. Pay off the bots to get there. Your distractions should ensnare a few bloggers to fall into your trap. I think you are well on your way. 🐓🐓

I'm not going to pay bots. If people don't like my stuff, so be it. The choice is theirs, not mine.

I like your stuff. Understood your point perfectly. Like your style. 🐓🐓

Thank you. Honestly, most days, words like that mean more than anything else.

The truth is just a few kind words mean a lot to most of us. You received many comments, which is pretty remarkable. Your followers are loyal to you and appreciate what you have to say in conjunction with your art. Enjoy a great weekend.🐓🐓

I would never have guessed you are a loner, you seem exactly the opposite! I enjoy your writings and art I am glad you are here on steemit!

I'm comfortable surrounded by the right kind of people. I'm comfortable being alone with my thoughts as well. Whatever I choose is fine with me.

That is really nice, it's nice having people that love you in your live but having and a little privacy when needed!

and that was creepy and cool! intrigued and
signing up without reading contents first was absolutely me....

It was a no-brainer. That part of the story was true and this place literally fell in my lap. Best thing I ever did.

One day they were blogging about how great the place is; the next, gone.

lol

Thank you for this great shopping list. You saved me time. I plan to use it one day. Distracting cashier is a great idea as well. I will probably shop at three stores just to be safe...

DNA? Actually, I’ve reconsidered it for now since you mentioned DNA. I don’t mind cops or prison, but I want to remain unanimous you know this DNA staff.

More stores means more cameras.

That DNA stuff, yeah; just wear gloves and keep your nails short. Wash regularly.

and spent the next five minutes learning how simple Markdown is.

Oh yes, the search takes longer than learning it!

The thing is: I'm a bit disappointed in my progress lately. I haven't been trending.

You know voting bots are all the rage right now. Maybe they will help you reach that amazing place that is called the Trending page. You know, the place where all the cool kids hang out while everyone else ignores it like the plague.

Being a loner though, maybe you shouldn't want to risk being associated with the cool kids.

Maybe you should stay away from trending.

It's way cooler down here.

Or less cool...

But the food is good.

Where ever I am is where I'll be. Where ever I go is where I'm headed. I got fish and it ain't breaded.

you are absolutely true. i have noticed the trending page has become alot more abundant then before. but whats the reason?

And, judging by your shopping list, you know a hawk from a handsaw.

Woodpeckers and handsaws have a lot in common.

I wonder if you could train a woodpecker to do dismemberment. It's your fault I wonder about this.

Just inject bugs into the cadaver's legs or whatever. It's not rocket science.

I keep saying this. Doesn't anyone not notice how lonely the Trending page is?

you are absolutely true. i have noticed the trending page has become alot more abundant then before. but whats the reason?

Posting spree, shopping spree, killing spree, it's all so similar these days.

Please don't try to kill me.

It must be spring!
I'm good at it. Don't have to try.

The time of new energy and various leisure activities!

Make my day.

I am, The Daymaker.

The beginning of this post reminded me of the words of the great philosopher Beck, “So shave your face with some mace in the dark, Savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park. Yo, cut it. Soy un perdedor.”

What the hell kind of gas station sells all those supplies? Even if I get my gas at Sams Club or BJs I have trouble even getting half of that stuff.

"Drove the van to the store." That was after the fill up. Beck is some cool shit.

yup you are absolutely true. beck is something sensational

yup you are absolutely true. beck is something sensational

Explains why I scored low in reading comprehension. Carry on.

good saying mate. i agree with your opinion

I like that you like my opinion. Kinda makes me feel excited.

You have to go back to the store.

Making that list, checking it twice. Going to find out who's naughty or nice.

this format will spice things up for ya...

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I saw that once somewhere else. Irony.

what better way to know the universe is speaking to you. hurry up with the list grand pa.