MY LOVE LIFE 1 (TRUE STORY)

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My love life is just hell, permit me to say worse, if there was another word worse than worse, Let’s leave it at worse.
Ever since I knew I was in the world, I haven’t really felt what real love is, like my mum told me, she had issues with her step children, we all know the drama in a polygamous family, she had to travel to Abuja, with me in her stomach, things were very hard, but she had to just leave, I understand what it means to be rejected, I don’t blame them too, who’ll be happy their dad is having another wife, when they are still crying about their late mother. There’s nothing to cut short, I’ll give all the details, as she continued, she couldn’t give birth in Abuja, she had to travel to Lagos to see her doctor, because she was old already, after all the struggle, she gave birth. They had naming ceremony but couldn’t afford a photographer, so no pictures, I really wish I knew how I look like when I was 1 week old, lol.
My mum couldn’t stay in the house, because she had her own children too, and it was hard trying to make the children mingle, the hatred was just there. She went back, they just started a new life, wasn’t easy but at least they were happy, even when they know they are supposed to be living large if not that death took their multi-millionaire daddy away, poor kids.
The connection is always there, Love for your mom’s kids, even if they were far older than me, I really didn’t have someone of my own size to relate with, not until my mom went to lagos and then funke came into the picture, funke is a kid, my eldest brother brought to life without planning, her mom just dropped her at the church, and my mom got there, and she was told it’s her son’s daughter, we aren’t sure though, she just had to bring her home, I was little then so I just mingled with my new sister.
My siblings were so old that, they don’t have the time to sit down and play, even my mom, they were just looking for a better means, since they had to restart their lives in a new environment ,so there was no time. Lots of things happened to me,there was nobody to report to.
My mum and dad settled their issues, he requested to see his child after 6 years, I found the letters my dad usually send to my mom, he’s always begging her to bring his child to live with him, but she couldn’t just let me go, besides I was kid, I won’t be able to express myself since I’m not really used to them.
My mom parked our stuffs and she took me and funke, she left the rest because they could take care of themselves already. I got to Lagos and everything about me changed, i used to be this jovial baby, everyone in utako loved me, and now I don’t even know where I am, this was the beginning of my terrible love life.
I couldn’t eat well, I couldn’t understand what they even teach in school, the teachers were surprised to see a left handed girl, they felt irritated, it’s the society though. I became a dullard, funke grew up in Lagos, she was 8months old when my mom took her.
So she just flowed with the new environment, I never, a bit had sibling moment With my dad’s kids, I was so scared to talk to them, and I became this very shy girl, ‘things are better left unsaid’ has always been my saying then.
They loved funke more, she’s always coming first, jovial, she goes on errands well, but me, I’ll come home with 15th 11th ,in class, confam olodo, lazy girl, spoilt child, always clingy to my mommy alone. My dad always call me, take me around, but that love was never there, not a bit, I just miss him so much now.
He was sick, then from heart problems, to diabetes, to kidney problems, my dad suffered, and I didn’t even look at his side.
My mum will call me and I’ll be so angry, I was scared to go close to him, oh God, I feel so bad, but I was a kid in primary 4,who knows nothing. Then he’ll say to me kemi, you’re running away from me, that’s If I answer, eventually he died, I cried for 2hrs and went to look for food, and watched my cartoon as usual.
We had to leave the house to avoid troubles, so we went back to the struggle, my dads children always give me things I need, school, food, clothes, everything, but there was no love,
The ones in Abuja had to have their own family so they have other better things doing, my mom will always struggle to keep us happy, so no time, besides I wasn’t used to talking to anyone.
As they always say, when you are in Rome, you behave like a Romanian, took me years before I could fit into the new system, I know you wondering about my relationship with my dads children, forget that, we never became close.
Okay so I was the only child, I forgot to tell you this, but my mum always says I'm the last born, funny right? My dad has his own children and mum had hers too, so them coming together as husband and wife made them have me. So complicated, you'll have to sit and think to understand this. For this reason, they were far older than me and because of the polygamous setting, I was lost in the moment, everyone has grown up, and has to live their lives.
There's no way you can understand my plight if I don't start from the beginning, I'm sorry if you have to stress yourself, now to the main story.
I really don’t need attention, love, I was a secondary school student and everyone in school loved me, there was nothing to really think of, I’m just a girl people can’t just love less, they just get amused one way or the other, solar, here, solar there, was fun, believe me, the teachers would want me to do something for them, my class mate will look for me if I don’t come to school, I don’t even miss school.I had a boyfriend then, I just realized we were doing rubbish and called it relationship, chai children ehn.
After my WAEC, I met someone, I was love strucked, I loved him, but it’s funny I don’t even know what love was, I just know I love him. Then reality hit me, we started having issues, I thought It was not normal, I broke up with him, I told myself I have to look for someone perfect.
This guy on my street, I hated him so much, if I was asked to kill the devil or him, I would kill him.
I just went to get something at the store, then I saw him, I was like this fool, then he greeted me in my mind I was like, nawa o person wey hate, why you dey greet me?.
Then I said hi, he said I looked very beautiful and I forced myself to blush, you know the way guys do now, he made sure I blushed real blush, lool , then I was moved he collected my number in front of my house.
That night I was just smiling, then I remembered these Korean movies, Playful kiss and Boys before flower, I’m very sure you can relate, the person you hate so much might be the person you love at end
It didn’t last too, Just like that and it goes on, one to one to the other.
Got to the University, Met someone oh my, I Was ready for marriage, chai love was so sweet, year one, year two, at the beginning of the second year, wahala came, things started to fall apart, although I had someone in school, we just played around and something really bad happened that I’ll like to keep to myself.
My boyfriend knew something was happening but didn’t mind, we settled it, and the guy in school said he was going to make sure we broke up, he was so determined, eventually my boyfriend stopped calling, I tried to reach him, but I couldn’t reach him and I stopped.
Then my life began to fall apart, I realized I needed to talk to someone, but there was no one.
You can’t just pick a random person and tell your life story, they’ll come back to mock you, have always been scared to talk since I’m not used to.
Had another relationship with a guy in obafemi awolowo university, was fun but crashed as usual. I was done with life, wanted to commit suicide, there’s actually more to this, don’t say this is just little,
I knew I committed a crime, God is angry at me, I felt it but I was just too weak, I just wanted to talk, my best friend stopped me from taking my life that night, Tobe didn’t actually know he saved me, even though I sounded like it was a joke. He was mainly the reason I was living at that moment and then, we fought, I was surprised, everyone was because we were so close.....so much about me have not been perfect, my life itself has been an awful script but i wish for that day ill have everything in place and a guy that would be ready to listen to me at all time and never make me cry again.!