You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: [Zuton] : Lights out (3)

in #story7 years ago

Ok, I'm sucked into the story now and want more. I'm really bad at coming up with changes though. I've stared at them for a while now without any good ideas. So for now, I will just continue as a reader vs. writer 🙂. The wrist pop stood out to me like @poetrybyjeremy by I would like "shattered" better because I think of "pops" as just a joint sound like popping your knuckles. Probably a regional thing though. Great work.

Sort:  

I actually like pop, rather than shatter, especially if this is the main character.

The pop or maybe grind can spin off into many directions, while a shatter mostly puts her out of the game.

Pop is more authentic. Can you imagine the wrist popping out? It pops out of its place kind of thing. That's what I imagine. Way worse than breaking.

It must be a personal thing. My knee pops out of place almost daily, but if it shattered..... To the hospital I go.

Possibly, you may be right. It depends how you perceive it. But a knee popping and a wrist popping would be different. Again, I have no personal experience with popping stuff and I am barely breathing talking about this hahahha

I'm glad you are enjoying the story mate! I'm trying to build up the suspense every post. More questions, more questions :)

That's a good point. I'll go over it and see if shattered or popped sounds better given what could happen in the future parts. I'm not even sure you can pop your wrist out to be honest, is it a ball and socket joint? Haha.