my little story of tattooing, session 1- outlines always looks like a failure?

Somehow I enjoy the pain of tattooing, it's the moment that I can feel that I'm alive.

Life goes on and on but I have less and less emotions, getting numb to everything.

I love tattoo not just for giving meanings to tattoos,  I love the painful process too. I'm hurting myself but I'm not hurting myself.

It's just like another form of stimulation other than sky diving and roller-coaster 

Some days ago I just did my first session of chest tattoo, which is one of the most painful part. My tattooer is an old and experienced. I closed my eyes and had my meditation status because the pain took away all my other thoughts.

Lying in a classic tattoo studio with 80's music and relentless pain across my chess, 

the old tattooer was keep talking about how many friends of him died this year but i couldn't say a word

it's just like a movie

The first session took almost 5 hours, 

It felt like a decade but when the moment i was told it's done I felt it was not that long

I woke up covered with cold sweat, once again being grateful just not to feeling the pain anymore. 

Sometimes I just forgot how good it is for just not feeling anything, and tattooing always gives me a good day.

I left the studio with physical pain and mental satisfaction.

Until I arrived at home and see this from the mirror...

while the design i got was like this... 

And i just found that i made a mistake and created a new category storyblog as i missed the space and it's not able to be changed - -