Mom's about to lose her mind. ( Word Vomit )

in #stress6 years ago (edited)

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I worry. I worry A lot. I worry about everything and often make things harder on myself because of it. I have generalized anxiety and ADHD with moderate depression and a learning disability, You can see where this is going right? Every ten years or so I do something stupid like leave a bad situation without giving thought to where i will land. I just do, no thinking involved. No thoughts of what my consequences might be or who they may affect. I lose my mind I guess and maybe that's OK every now and then. I don't do drugs, I don't cheat or do anything illegal. I merely make bad choices when I feel like no one cares.
I spend more than I should and get snappy at my family. I want to make art and be creative when I should be trying to be a better mom. It's frustrating to try and sell said art and make little to no money from it. I look around and see that I have a great life but sometimes I need to run away for a moment. To find myself under the tut-ledge of mother and wife.
I need to pay down my debt and find a way to bring in more money, be it working more hours and pushing the book or the art. I am a stressed out Mom and I do apologize to anyone who has stumbled upon this ramble. It feels good to get this out there to the world and try to let the worry go for a moment. I will be fine, we will be fine...Is it to early for a glass of red wine? Anyway, Have a good day and stop to smell some roses along the way.