Tantra what? Part 1 - lack of love and initiation

Have you ever wondered what is all that mess about Tantra or tantric massages? I say mess, because the major part of those who have heard this terms have not much idea of what is going on and therefore it happened to be a messy subject. Opinions of most of people labour under the misapprehension, based on poor theories, mostly unsupported by evidence, of their parents, friends, guys in a bar, yellow journalism, teachers, bad marketing and advertising…Obviously, if you try to really know what it is, you will see that once again some guys managed to twist the subject so that it brings profit to them…

Let me start from scratch. Not all of us, but lot of us, we grew up in families where we were told touching ourselves is filthy, we were forbidden to speak about our genitals, to speak about sex, we barely hugged with our parents after a certain age, we haven’t even spoken about love at home! But LOVE for a beloved one is the basic “construction unit” of the universe, love making is the way we reproduce, therefore create life and self love…? If a human being holds himself cheap, his system lost a will to live, or generates a harmful behaviour, such as desire of destruction or an intensive pressure on another being, either in a form of violence or extreme, anxious love and control. Therefore it is more than clear that denying or anxious hiding of our sexuality leads to severe problems in our society.Without any exaggeration, it is the lack of love and compassion that cause the world’s biggest problems.

But why do our parents make us to deny or hide our sexuality? Because most of them had the same education. All that parents, grand parents,ancestors who were punished for touching themselfs, exposed to ridicule for kissing their little friend, sexualy abused or grew up in such a non-loving environment where love was a tabu, that after some time their true sexuality got hidden somewhere very very deep and the key to it got lost. And a majority of people didn’t conceive a baby from a real love and fulfilling love making, their children are either results of an “accident” or, more likely, of a certain requirement, assumption, where a couple “should accomplish” their mission. In reality, the mission isn’t having a baby. The real task is TO LOVE. And not even expect you will receive any love back! If we truly love OURSELVES, then we are happy about how we live now, we find a partner we love and when we make love, we do it not to bring a fast, clitorial orgasm or a good quality moves leading to his ejaculation, but for a higher purpose - HEALING. And that is the moment when a connection of two people starts to have a different form and consequences, much unlike what we know from porn movies that spoiled our ideas about love and sex.

It is unbelievable that young men come into their teens without any proper explanation of sexual energies and their functions from older men and no initiation with an older woman!
Our sexuality is a powerful motive energy, that can create beautiful things as well as terrific crisis! As we don’t teach our children how to handle it, but instead we tell them to hide it without any explanation why should they do so, and then we silently ignore that their very first informations come to them in a form of a more or less perverted porn movie where actors with perfect bodies are having fun, knowing exactly what to do, we cannot expect them to have very good beginnings, can’t we?! These young men will watch more and more porn movies and create a habit, their brains and penises will get used to scenarios and pictures they saw frequently and equipped with those images they come to their first sexual experiences with a young women, who often have no more informations than the men, and here sexual traumas are created. No one told them about the deeper sexual energy function that leads to a much sweeter pleasure and most of the boys will never learn about it.

Now please, don’t try to oppose this “...and here sexual traumas are created.”! If you think something like:” Come on, we all have been there, but we somehow made it at some point and now we know how to make love.”, or: “We survived,we are fine.” , well then let me remind you the first sentences of a well known movie - :” My friend Deborah, psychologist, was asked by the city of Philadephia if she can offer a psychological sitting to a group of Cambodian refugees, boat people,who have recently arrived in the city. Deborah was daunted by the task. These Cambodiens had suffered genocide, starvation, relatives murders… How could she help these people?! So, guess what these people wanted to talk about with her..?! - I met this guy in a refugee camp, I thought he really loved me, that he got separated with the other woman on the boat , then he took up with my cousin, but now he says he really loves me…!”

In a way, the only thing the universal creating energy needs from us, is to survive, so that it can learn from us, but we were not created as machines, we, as an emotional creatures, need a certain motivation to live, so that we can survive.

No kidding, it’s all about LOVE (and food :-)!