Are You Scared to Be Alone?

in #travel7 years ago

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Or are you one of those people who enjoys the solitude?

This is a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately, because I now work alone and have the luxury to stay alone most times. There is also the fact that I want to travel and traveling alone is not always the best option, for one, it's more expensive and two, there is the issue with safety.

I like my own company very much and I prefer doing most things alone and spend time just by myself. I do my best work alone, because I have the full power on everything and I don't have to make compromises. If I wanna sleep in, I can, and if I want to stay up late, I don't have to think about if I'm gonna disturb my companion with my Steeming or cooking or what ever.

Do you need a group of people around at all times?

I know quite a few people who can hardly go to the bathroom alone, let alone to a bar or god forbid, traveling! They need a group meet up and hours of negotiation to reach consensus on the next step to take, this bar or a nightclub, Italian or Chinese food.

For me that sounds like hell and I can not understand why people would choose to have a posse around them from coffee shops to bars and weekend trips. It must be very hard to make everyones timetable match and moods too! I'm very moody and if I don't feel like it, I hate it if I have made a promise to someone that we'd hang out.


Of course I sometimes grave for company too, but I much rather find that group alone and make no promises of whats and whereabouts beforehand. One of the best times I've had with people is when I go to a party alone, find a cool group of people and decide to tag along for some adventures, without having to think that I have some prior engagement with someone.

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Do I need someone to share the moments with, or can I be happy alone?

I've done some travelling alone and I intend to do more of it. Sometimes it makes me feel very lonely, sitting alone on a hilltop, watching the sunset. Why would the sunset be any less gorgeous viewed alone, than in a company of someone?

Sometimes I brace myself and travel in company, thinking that okay this is the thing, it's so much more fun, but what I'm often faced with is having my creativity repressed and I get cranky very easily. My bff @escapist already knows that I'm a loner, but we are such close friends that we can manage a 6 day trip in Budapest without killing each other. And of course we'll be sharing a lot of it with you guys, through Steemit! (And make everyone jealous, that is what social media is for, right?

My ideal situation when traveling would be having my own hotel room, but having friend stay in the same city too, so we can hang out at times, and I can also go roam free. Lisbon around Steemfest was great because I took a lot of time for myself, but also ended up hanging around with cool people too, best of both worlds.

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I wish some day to find someone who I can share my life with and feel just as good in that company as I do alone. I'm not holding my breath for that...

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really inspiring and fantastic pictures! IMO learning how to be alone is critical for happy life!

Nice post.

And make everyone jealous, that is what social media is for, right?

I'm eagerly waiting for you to make me jealous.

I think it's necessary to have a mutual respect for each others privacy and personal space, it's quite obvious, for me at least. When two loners/introverts or whatever choose to hang out together completely by their own will, those friendships are the most powerful.

Not everyone gets that you should respect ones privacy, just like I don't get why people keep insisting that we should hang out more 😝

You are absolutely right, I value a friendship like that more, than of peoples who are always surrounded by a ton of friends anyways.

The internet seems to be designed for "loners", or at least provides a bit of a connection to other things when we want them.

It really isn't about not liking people, its that in large doses they become too much - we tend to have a lot of things going on in our heads, and when other ideas and idle chatter collide we tend to get annoyed.

I personally do both, submerge into the flow of a crowded place, hang with some friends, but always have my own personal sanctuary to go back to.

I think its best this way. I don't understand people who always have to be super-exuberant about everything - like they were auditioning for a part on television or film.

The kind of people, that when left with a silence - can't close their mouths long enough to enjoy it.

How sad that must be, to never enjoy the calm of just "being".

Thank god for internet, or who ever created it, I should probably know this... google

For me it is about the not liking people too, I'm very picky about my company, at least in long term. I might have fun for a while but I don't want to keep in touch with the majority.

I try to make sure I have a hide hole where ever I go, so that I can escape to it if I'm not feeling too social.

I know a lot of people get anxious when it's silent in the room and there is another person around. There are awkward silences, and then there is just the normal comfortable silence that comes naturally. It's fun when you notice the other person fidgeting in the silence and you yourself feel very calm, inside your own head and thoughts.

I think most people are a combination of introvert and extrovert sides, different parts of your personality. Which means having the need for both alone time and together time. For some people one side is stronger and for others the other side. I personally, have found a good way to balance these sides. I get my personal space and peace from living in a place where people don't come during a big part of the year. But when summer comes the island is filled up with tourists and sailors. Then it's full speed for about 2 months... Another good side of living like this is that you can choose when you want to feed your extrovert side and just go visit some friend. There's a chance it might get a bit hectic when you let loose you inner partybeast but hey..after that I just crawl back to my safe spot :D As you wrote; best of both worlds.

That doesn't sound too bad, being in a quiet island for most of the year. Does your work involve being in contact with the tourist in the summertime? Haha, I know I have that partybeast in me, and when I let it out to play, it can go until 10am the next morning, but after that, it crawls back in it's cave for months.

Confession: I've never visited Turun saaristo...

It's pretty nice :D yeah I run the whole tourism business on the island with a good friend of mine so it's kinda my fault... Okay, when do we get this BEAST-ONCE-A-YEAR-'TIL-10AM-PARTY-CLUB up and running?!? xD

Naah, we are not gonna kill each other. Mostly because we both respect one another's need to be alone. It seems to be very rare to have that respect even in friendships. So, if you didn't already know I value it extremely high.

I think it is awesome that we can say that shut up or fuck off and neither one gets offended. For me that is pure gold.

When we need shut up -time, we'll probably end up chatting in Steemit in the same room and have a great time with that, we fucking weirdos❤️

This is how you make irl people more tolerable. You convert them into internet people!

My master plan is working!

Seriously I am a person who enjoys the solitude. I love spending my time alone reading my books, watching my favorite documentaries and learning new things. I love to go out with friends sometimes, but prefer to be alone.
I am not scared of being alone, I think I got used to it. But I feel very happy and joyful when I am with my friends. Sometimes we need to be alone to meditate and enjoy our time doing what we love :)

Are you the same way that you really have to be in the mood for going out or you are not going? That is how it is with me, that is I don't like to promise that we'll go out in three weeks from now or something like that.

nope, solitude is bliss.

"I wish some day to find someone who I can share my life with and feel just as good in that company as I do alone. I'm not holding my breath for that..."

same here/ good luck with that.

and thanks for ALL your photos, they excellent b

It is not that I can't be alone, but I love the company of my wife, kids and family. Though I can be busy alone while others are in the same room :P