Last May, I attended the infamous Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan and had the time of my life. After downing several buckets of alcohol, receiving a second degree burn on my shin, and getting completely lost, I feel I have some expertise on what NOT to do (and some of what to do) to have the time of your life!

Do attend!

It is the party of a lifetime. Under the sparkling night sky, you will celebrate the beauty and magnificence of the full moon with thousands of travelers (about 20,000 each month) from around the world. I specifically planned my Thailand days, so I could attend this glorious celebration, and I do not regret it one bit!

Don’t do the shroom smoothies.

(Or do, whatever, I’m not your mom). But let me tell you, the event is already so hectic, and fun, and confusing, and amazing, and sensually orgasmic, that I don’t see how shrooms would enhance the experience, but it can leave you with the possibility of having a bad trip (and then what? Who will take care of you?). If you are some experienced hippy traveler, than by all means but think it through before taking the leap. I personally recommend staying away, at least for this crazy night!

Do paint before you get to the beach!

You can buy neon paints on the low-low a couple days prior to the event, but first, check to see if your hostel will provide some paints! You can pay to be painted or borrow paints, but it will be at a higher cost (and if you’re seemingly drunk, vendors will try to swindle some more moola from your pockets). Nonetheless, painting is half the fun! It’s a great way to meet people and show off your artistic talents.

Most people buy Full Moon Party swag (a shirt would cost you around $5), but as I knew I would be traveling for months after and didn’t have space to spare, I opted to wear a black crop top and black shorts to accentuate the neon on my near bare bod. Most people wear neon and bright colored summer clothing; the choice is up to you. And most importantly, wear close-toed shoes, as there may be glass, puke, or piss in the sand by the night’s end. (Don’t worry, it will be too dark and everyone will be too drunk to notice you wearing some comfortable sneakers versus cute sandals.)

Don’t buy illicit drugs or marijuana from locals.

Just as you are getting ready for the party, covering yourselves with flamboyantly bright paints, and getting to that nice tipsy buzz-buzz, the police and drug gangs and medical facilities are also suiting up for a nice night of high profits. Don’t indulge in your drug desires, as it is well known that certain gangs conspire with police during these festivities. It goes like this: you buy some goodies from a local dealer, they rat you out to the police, who find you; you then pay an exorbitant fine, buying (bribing) a get out-of-jail free card, the police give the drugs back to the dealers, and the cycle repeats. I’ve heard this story go both ways: I have met people who bought drugs and were fine, and then I have heard from people with acquaintances who really had to bribe the police to avoid prosecution.

Do hang tight to your valuables and belongings. (Only bring the essentials!)

This is advice for both your valuables on your person and back at the hostel. I have heard a horror story from a friend I met on a different island, in which someone stole their $1300 MacBook, from their wrongly locked locker, while they were at the party! So make sure everything is under lock and bolt before leaving, and double check the hostel has tight security.

Further, though most party people are looking to have a good time, there will still be a good number with deceiving desires, the pickpockets. Try to take only the bare minimum. I did well with a small bag holding: the address of my hostel (!!!), a copy of my passport, my cell phone, about 2000 baht (maybe a little more, if it helps you to feel safe), and for those who are single: condoms (better safe than sorry)!

I know it’s tempting to take your nice gadgets and gizmos and take a thousand pictures and selfies, but amongst your drinking of buckets and some puking from said buckets, and others lusting after your luxuries, you’ll want to compare the risks and rewards.

Don’t overdo it with the Buckets.

This is a simple warning that goes for every drinking night. You’re young, wild, free, and in Thailand! Yes, but you are also a fragile human being. Can your stomach handle as much as you think you can? Use the buddy system, and make a close friend that you can trust to hold your hair when things go awry, and vice versa. Further, those buckets are huge! The buddy system works great for sharing buckets to last until the sun comes up! Please take care not to share buckets with EVERYONE, however: germs and spiked drinks are a thing to be feared.

Speaking of the buddy system, and bodily excess, you will have to pay to pee. Most people don’t. Why, the whole ocean is your oyster. But don’t get lost, use the buddy system to help cover each other, and try really hard not to step in the water (thousands of people pee in that water all night).

Do plan in advance!

After a wonderfully exciting night, I checked out of my hostel and I was ready to depart from Koh Phangan onto my next adventures in Koh Tao! I asked the hostel workers which ferry I should take. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: So, which ferry should I take to get out of here?
Worker: You mean you haven’t booked your ferry tickets yet?
Me: No, I thought I could just show up at the port and buy tickets.
Worker: You realize 15-25,000 people are going to try to get off this island within the next two to three days, right?
Me: No, I didn’t think about it… Can I book another night here, worst case scenario?
Worker: No, we’re booked solid till the end of the week…Good Luck.

I was stupid hung-over and pretty sure I was going to sleep on the streets that night. But on a whim (I didn’t really have any better plans), I showed up at the port, and was extremely fortunate to buy one of the last tickets on the next ferry to Koh Tao!

Please learn from my stupidity: plan in advance*. Plan to either come a bit before the festival or stay after for the best deals on hostels and book them well in advance! I recommend arriving to the island a bit early to enjoy the relatively crowd-less beaches; you see, the island will look a little like you, waking up the day after the Full Moon Party (totally trashed).

Don’t join in on the Fire Sports!

I have to admit my drunkenly lubricated ego could not stay away from the blazing fiery jump ropes. I have a perfectly nice 2nd degree burn scar on my shin to prove it.

Simply put, don’t do it. (Though I think my scar does look slightly badass.) Just, don’t do it. Even if the searing pain of fiery rope of death lashing your bare skin doesn’t hurt like a hundred jellyfish bites because you're drunk, it will definitely hurt a thousand times more the next day. (I promise.)

And if you think you’ll be fine, because you are a master jump-roper (does that even exist?) or phenomenal at limbo, rumor has it, the people swaying the jump ropes back and forth are financially associated by medical facilities to mess up, every few minutes. Maybe it’s a conspiracy, but it makes sense: more drunk tourists burned on their own free will means more money to the hospitals, and to the rope holders.

Do explore and have the time of your life!

The set up of the Full moon party consists of a long strip of beach open to tens of thousands of people, which rows of alcohol bucket vendors, as well as beach clubs (leading indoors), and many completely outdoors stages. Within a minute of arriving, my friends and I found a wonderful stage with an extremely promising funky electronic DJ—my favorite. Lost in a lovely daze, dancing with amazing people, I almost completely forgot there was another mile of sand and party to explore. Walking another ten, twenty meters, a whole new party vibe and style of music—such as psychedelic trance, R&B, drum and bass, house, and reggae— will arouse your ears and body. My advice: enjoy yourself, but explore each part of the mile long party. You’ll meet so many more people walking around. We even found a lost member of our group, two hours after losing him!

Whatever you do and however you decide to enjoy this magical night, play it safe, and keep it simple (stupid). This is a once in a lifetime experience. Take it all in. You’re in for a night to remember (if you don’t drink too many buckets that is!).