Diary of an Escaped Expat, Part 2
This series is about my 15.5 year adventure in Indonesia - from teaching and public speaking to marriage and parenting to neighbors and partners to culture and religion to cuisine and art, and more! I'll give an honest, sometimes touching and even shocking look at what it was like to live there for all of you. I hope you'll enjoy it and support my effort to put it all into writing! If you don't mind, resteem it, please!
A few months before leaving, I was approached by a friend of mine, Kathryn. She was pregnant and the father didn't want to have anything to do with the baby. She asked if I'd be willing to be her Lamaze partner and, since I was planning to move to Indonesia by that point, I asked if I could live at her townhouse for the remaining time beforehand, in return for which I wouldn't just be her partner, I'd also help her to clean up her home (she was a hoarder). This would allow me to save up money from my job, be ready for the trip (which I thought would be for a year), help her, and quit from Rhythms several days in advance. It was agreed upon and we set the date, but I made it clear that our relationship was to be strictly platonic.
I attended Lamaze classes with her when Kathryn told me about them and, when it came time, I got rid of most of my possessions, stored most of the rest at a friend's house, and moved in. I had a small number of items there. I helped her clean up a fair amount of her townhouse, although we never got everything out of her attic, and the basement was still full. There was a LOT! Surprisingly, she didn't get anxious like some hoarders and I think she was even happy to get rid of it. A bunch of it got donated to a charity thrift store.
And 9/11 happened, too, before the birth. I was in bed, sleeping (late for work), when I awoke and saw the shot of the WTC. I thought it was some movie being aired on a movie channel, so I went back to bed. I woke up later and the same scene was still on the TV, so I realized it wasn't a movie. That was really shocking! I called in and was told I didn't have to come in to work unless I wanted to. I went in, but didn't stay very long because almost no one was there and most of the telephone companies I dealt with were closed. Over the following days and weeks, the news became so depressing that I stopped listening to the radio in the car, and shut off the TV at home. I just couldn't handle the negativity! I'm sure a lot of people, worldwide, can understand.
The news started brainwashing the American public with thinly veiled innuendo that Indonesia was the greatest threat to our security because, naturally, a small group of Muslim terrorists means ALL Muslims are terrorists and the fact that Indonesia had more Muslims than any other nation (but is a democracy, not a theocracy, despite being founded by Muslims) meant that Indonesia was the biggest threat to the US. What poppycock, but people fell for it, just like they fell for so much of the rest of the nonsensical propaganda that was promoted by the media. Even email blasts from the US embassy were heavily influenced by political spin - it was disgusting to me, but what could I do? Bush had made it challenging for Americans overseas with his lies and machinations (or, rather, those of his puppeteers), wars, and the violations of our Constitution and international laws and treaties at Guantanamo Bay and other locations.
Near her due date, Kathryn's best friend came to visit. She went out on a date and, hours later, she called her best friend to say she was in labor! That was a big surprise, so we jumped in her car and went to the hospital. I was met with a perplexing situation. Her boyfriend refused to remove the scrubs he'd put on so that I could help my friend during the birthing and, when I asked her, she didn't care one way or the other. I didn't know what to do but, finally, her friend and I went back home. I felt bad about it, but what could I do?
Kathryn's mother arrived not long after and, after my friend returned home, things got strange. Whereas before we had a good friendship, it became strange. Her mother apparently blamed me for not being there, and manipulated Kathryn into being angry at me. I tried to explain, but I really couldn't make much headway. I felt very sad about that.
Around the same time, in early October 2001, I had surgery on my shoulder, and Bethany, the lovely lady I was interested in, would come over to care for me. I think this, also, bothered Kathryn.
Over the intervening years after leaving the US, I only heard from Kathryn 2-3 times. I was very sad because she seemed to have cut ties with me and, because of her very common name (and one of the most common surnames in the US), I was unable to find her and discover the fate of her child, who had a heart defect. I hope Kathryn and her child are well!
Before I was to leave, my Dad came to town and met Bethany. He really liked her (who can blame him - she was super!). He took my documents that I needed stored and drove us to the airport. I was crying nearly continuously because I really did care about Bethany. If she'd asked me to stay and be hers forever, I probably would've (even though I would've lost the ticket money and the 6 months rent on my apartment in Jakarta that Mara had gotten for me). But, she didn't. I kept in touch with Bethany while she was in Africa and when things didn't work out with Mara, I hoped she'd say "come back!"...But Bethany didn't. :(
At the airport in Denver, I was subjected to a "random" security check. And, when I got to California, ANOTHER "random" check happened! I don't know if it was because I was flying to Indonesia and all the propaganda against it, because I had a sling (my shoulder wasn't fully healed), or something else, but two checks in a row means it's not random!
The further west I flew, the more Asian the food became. I had ordered vegan food for the trip. I have long enjoyed Asian food, but this was stuff I hadn't seen before (American Asian food is rather different from Asian food), so I was just guessing about the proper way to mix it. Also, I was flying Eva Air (Taiwan) and the seats were built for small people, so it was pretty crowded for me. One of the funniest meals was one that was composed of rice porridge and the various ingredients that were supposed to be mixed in but I opened the big package of rice porridge LAST, after I'd eaten all the ingredients that would've made it delicious - boy did that suck (but I had never seen chicken and rice porridge before, so it probably wouldn't have helped much)!
My trip took over 30 hours (maybe 36), and I transited through Taipei to Jakarta. I was tired, stinky, confused and happy all at the same time! I got a tourist visa upon arrival and Mara was awaiting me outside the gates.
She drove me to my apartment but, on the way, Mara stopped and I had my first Indonesian meal - a traditional dish from Yogyakarta called Gudeg with Krecek. It was really delicious but I had no idea what I was eating! Gudeg is either dry or wet (served with a coconut-milk-based soup), and is made with whole eggs and jackfruit that is cooked with teak leaves to achieve that almost purplish-brown color, and has a sweet flavor (in some famous restaurants in Yogyakarta, it is sickeningly sweet). Krecek is rehydrated fried cow skin that is in a very spicy sauce. Chicken is normally fried to the point of having no broth left in it via frying, boiling or steaming, and then is fried before sale. In many places, meals are served on banana leaves cut to size, or even shaped into a cone-shaped bowl held together with toothpicks or staples.
And, thus, my adventure in Indonesia began. I quickly learned which foods to avoid (uncooked, containing ice, or those which were sitting out in a display) if you didn't want traveller's diarrhea or, worse yet, food poisoning (I was already an expert in dealing with that after having had it from several restaurants in the US). I also learned that it's almost impossible to exchange US dollars that are folded, wrinkled, torn or otherwise in less than perfect condition. Even if you found a forex, they'd give you an inferior rate - especially if the denominations were small. And traveller's cheques were a pain to exchange, and commanded an 8% fee (on top of the fee I had paid in the US to get them). But I am getting ahead of myself.
Until part 3! :)
You may be wondering why I don't post a lot of pictures from my time there. Well, in my early years there, I had a hard drive crash that caused the loss of some of my photos, although I had many backed up to DVDs. Then, in 2015, my backup HDD was stolen, which contained the majority of my photos and, finally, I had to hastily leave Indonesia, resulting in the loss of all my printed photos as well as the old DVD backups from the early years. Thus, aside from what can be found online, I lost a huge number of photos. :(
Edited: added names
If you appreciate this article, please upvote/like
, resteem/share
and share it to Facebook
, Twitter
, Reddit
, LinkedIn
and wherever else
you can!