Tips for traveling alone and the struggles of loneliness

I wouldn't say I'm the biggest traveler, in fact traveling isn't one of my passions.

Some people have a desire to see the world and tick off all the countries. For me, i don't.

I travel because I can afford to travel in my time and lifestage. I travel to learn about the world and about myself.

You see, my passion is people.

I have a love and hate relationship with people.

Most days I will love people.
Crowds, meeting friends, talking to strangers.
Maybe 97% of the time.

So naturally when I travel, I would love to travel with people.

One of the pros about traveling solo is being able to do what you want, when you want, how you want. Most people have a traveling style, and if matched with the wrong person, even the best of friends can have a fall out during their travel.

What about the cons?

For me, people person, the biggest con is loneliness.

When you see the magnificence of mother nature or the stunning man made architectures dating thousands of years back, awestruck you just want to share that with someone. But the is no one when you travel solo.

That, for me, is such an empty feeling.

[Watching the sunset alone on a mountain overlooking the Japanese city of Takamatsu]

So what are some ways of making friends?
I've encountered this question numerous times during my travels.

Here are a few ways I've found helpful to my travels.

• Ask your social network

A simple post on your social media account to ask if anyone has a local friend in the city or country that they can introduce.

This is a safe option as you have a mutual friend and it will make it easier to bond. Also your mutual friend will have an idea who to introduce to you without it clashing in terms of personality or character.

• Stay at a guesthouse or hostel

This one is common sense, and probably overstated. Naturally making friends is easy when you meet others who also are looking to make friends.

Differing to hotels, these are environments designed with the intent of mingling its travelers.

Often I will check if the hostel is popular.
If it has a common room where solo traveler can hang out.
Kitchen sometimes helps because people will be inclined to cook.

However it is a lot of times dependent on luck and timing.

I've made some awesome friends at hostels, but I've had more times than I can count of failed experiences.

Perhaps the hostel is empty, full of couples who want their space, young families, people from different generations, people who don't speak your language. There are plenty of reasons why making friends might not be so easy.

So then...what are some other options if you do fail?

• Bars, pub crawls

Another cliche on the list. Many people suggest checking out local bars and pub crawls(generally you will meet other like minded tourists).

But say... you're in bad luck and still you're alone.

• Meet ups (meetup.com, couchsurfing)

I've found this option better than the previous.
There are websites catering to hosting of events in nearly every city you can travel to.

Using these websites or apps, we can find out if there is an event near you. In many cases, you'll find meet ups where locals meet tourists and form friendships. Some are more strictly about learning and others are more relaxed and about having a good time. I've personally used both meetup.com and couch surfing and had ample success.

[A couchsurfing group having a drink together]

There is less of an assumption that people are there to pick up as can be often expected of in bars and pubs. However there are still those who will go with ulterior motives.

Say you still haven't had any success...

• Online apps

Everyone has heard of Tinder and dating apps. I haven't had success with making friends on Tinder but I have met some other tourists who have used it to meet locals just to show them around.

Discretion is required of course when using online apps.

There are however other apps available which are designed for finding travel buddies such as Serentrip.
I've had success with this app once.
Basically you post up your travel plans and hope to find someone in the same city as you traveling.

There are a few others but once again can be quite dodgy.

Another one I've had success using is hellotalk. An app designed for language exchanging, often locals are willing to meet up to practice their English whilst making friends and showing off their city. But again, there are strange people, be warned!

• Random opportunities

Finally are what I'd consider chance encounters.

These are instances where you can make a friend because of the situation.

Eg. Someone dropped their hat, you're asking for directions, you're waiting in line together

Assess the body language and if they're not showing antisocial behaviour, then go for a simple question.
I've made friends this way on the subway before or on the street.

Once again, there are pickup artists who will use these methods to chat up randoms. Or you could use this method for making friends.

An easy one is to ask for recommendations to a place.

I've seen the "asking for directions" failing many times as people can easily say they don't know. Whereas to ask for their recommendation, they would more likely want to share their joy and passion for a place to you.

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Final parting words

All in all, it all depends on the context.
The right timing, the right place, but a little effort is also important, and being proactive with some of these methods may just increase the likelihood of meeting some great people.

Ironically as I am writing this piece, I'm sitting alone on a bench in a park in Saint Petersburg.

I have a bus to catch to Estonia tonight, so I'm just chilling! :)