MENDING MY BROKEN SELF THROUGH TRAVELING

We have our own stories to tell.

Perhaps, stories that we thought and think, that is something worth the share.

And stories, that we think, and believe, that is something to learn.

Yes, we’ve heard about these insights and thoughts all over the world. Perhaps, the most overrated, or better yet, the most cliche blog post, as they say.

On personal perspective, however, these insights taught us, to move further, perhaps, beyond of our limitations. But how do we really mend a broken heart? Well, of course, it’s only us can tell on how we mend our broken hearts. Somehow, only time will tell, or we make our selves busy, or perhaps, through traveling. As for me, I found my own way in mending my broken heart… through traveling.

(Start of the tracking path in Tegalalang Rice Terraces, Ubud, Bali, Indonesia)

Last December of 2016, it was perhaps, one of the most devastating moments of my life. It was a moment where I thought it is the end of the world. I rolled up like a ball, just crawled in my bed, feeling lost, and just cry to the point that I cannot hear my voice anymore. It was the time when we broke up with my ex.

Cliche to say, to some, but I think, part of living in this world, is to experience, at least, these things, to be heart broken, and someday, letting ourselves grow, to be a better version of our selves.

In this blog post episode, I will share my insights and thoughts about how I learned to mend my broken self through traveling…

I'VE LEARNED TO JUST LET THINGS FLOW

I’ve had my few moments where I broke down and just cried a river. It was the moment where I felt like I can’t do anything but just cry, in the sense that I wasn’t myself anymore. It was a devastating moment to me perhaps, because things just cannot work out between us, between my ex and me, because of long distance. Yes, long distance works, of course, to some people. But on our part, we fell apart. But it was a learned lesson.

Through traveling, I’ve learned to just let things flow. By letting things flow, I just let my self go with the flow of life. Weeks after I got my heart broken, although I was still in pain then, at the back of my mind, I’ve decided that 2017 will be my traveling year.

My mantra then and until now, while still writing these thoughts, is to travel as much as possible. And so, I’ve started my journey, and booked my flights. With no exact itinerary, I’ve decided to go back home for a week, to my home country, my comfort zone, to my family. I believe, part of healing a broken heart, is to seek for family’s comfort. And so I did it. For a moment, it truly healed me, but of course, having a broken heart doesn’t heal right away. Let’s be honest, we are only human, and of course, we have our own flaws in life. Perhaps, time knows, and perhaps, only time will tell, as to when will be healed. And so, by just letting things go with the flow, after reading a memoir Eat Pray Love, I was inspired to travel solo, thus, I’ve traveled to Bali, Indonesia (Well, there’s a reason behind why I choose Bali.
If you’ve heard, watched, or read the memoir about Eat Pray Love, you will know the reason behind).

I think, letting things flow is just like having no exact exact itinerary when traveling, although of course, it depends on your niche, as for me, I just let things the day go with the flow then. At some point while in the island of the Gods, I just treat myself, rewards myself, and just experience my own dolce far niente, my sweetness of doing nothing.

I'VE LEARNED TO JUST APPRECIATE MOMENTS

As a millennial myself, I’ve been taught to keep on moving, think of the future, perhaps, searching for more than what is just the norm, or the usual, and in most times, thinking outside the box. However, while experiencing these things, there’s this point of my life where I wasn’t able to experience moments anymore because of the things happening so fast and not being able to appreciate the moment of the present.

At some point of my life, there are times that I wasn’t able to truly experience moments, because perhaps, I was always in hurry, I was in a rush, that I tend to leave the necessaries.Thus, in some times, especially when in a romantic relationship, I wasn’t able to see some of the moments, and when I was in the state of pain, that’s the time where moments are only remembered.

Through traveling, I’ve learned to just appreciate moments. I think, moments are really important and special when it comes to traveling. Growing up, I rarely appreciate moments, because maybe I was bored, or I doesn’t enjoy me. However, I think, it is essential to remember and appreciate moments. Especially on being an adult now, we barely recall or remember, or yet, appreciate moments because of so many things that we do, in most of the time because of work. Although, of course, it is not something to be need to really appreciate moments, but I think, it is something worth the share and ponder to people.

I’VE LEARNED TO JUST THINK OF THE PRESENT

While it is true that we learn from the past and look forward of the future, but why not just think of the present, of the now, of the reality of the moment that we are living.

Yes, I was hurt from the past, and perhaps, it was an inevitable moment, but of course, there’s something to learn from it, as always. However, if I let the past distract me of my future, although, sometimes, as I think of the past moments that I have, and somehow think of what the future holds, but I am only human. I think, well, perhaps, over think, at most times. But, as much as possible, I try not to think of it, because, at the end of the day, it will only ruin me, and it will not make me achieve the things that I wanted to achieve in life. Also, if I think of the future, it will always be uncertain, although, thinking about the future is really important, because there is this thing that I somehow to look forward for, but why not think of the present instead?

Through traveling, I’ve learned to just think of the present. By means of the present, the now. I think, the moments of the present, I believe, it is all that matters, because, at some point, it helps me mend the way I thought of the past experience and my thinking of the future. In a way, enjoying what is in the present while traveling helps me my broken self to be just be the best that I could be. As a human, a being, and as a person.

I’VE LEARNED TO JUST BE MYSELF

In most times, we sugar coat everything, maybe because we are afraid that people will judge us. Sometimes, we masked ourselves, because, we believe that it will make us happy, even if we’re not truly happy on the inside.

This part of the blog post episode is very essential and very relevant for my part, as based on my experience. At some point of my journey in this life, I tend to sugar coat my situation, or even mask myself just for the sake of pleasing other people, although it should not be. Apparently, I am only human and I make mistakes. At times, there are really days when I don’t see myself as the real me, as to what I really wanted in life, what I wanted to achieve, but through time, I’ve learned that it is not healthy for me. And so…

Through traveling, I’ve learned to just be myself. Through the years, I’ve had so many moments when I thought of not be me, or not being myself. I got distracted by the influence of people around me, and eventually forgot my authentic self, and became a copy cat in the process. And it was a devastating moment for my part, because it is not helping to be a better person,and so I’ve decided to change myself, my life. It was a leap of faith, although it is not easy, but the process and time, and of course, through traveling, I’ve learned to just be myself, and get over of those fantasy, and judgmental people. Who cares if they judge me in the way I live, my lifestyle, or the way I wear my clothes, it is not them, but me. As love as I am happy with myself, I believe, that is all that matters, because, after all, this is what we came for in this world, right? To be our own selves.

(Selfie with the Balinese locals, except with the mister local wearing a red shirt, maybe he was busy with his phone then at the Tirtha Empul Temple, Ubud, Bali, Indonesia)

I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE MYSELF

In most blogs perhaps, cliche to some, but at times, this is the very reason why we travel, because we love ourselves, but do we truly love our real selves?

I must admit, the very reason why I travel because I want to experience, and I think, it is a phenomena wherein we explore ourselves to know more about ourselves, and through this experience, I have learned that, I can be a better version of myself by loving myself.

It’s vague to say, but a fact when can never deny. How can we move forward and mend our broken self if we always cling to the idea, and just the idea of love? If we want to make something for our selves, we can always make it through. As for me, through traveling, I was able to mend my broken self, by learning to love myself. While traveling, I was able to discover myself more, know myself more, and I believe, that is loving myself.

To wrap up, I still believe that there are many ways to mend our own broken selves. I believe, it is always be up to us, on how we deal the situation, or circumstances, although not necessary with someone, because we can be broken in so many ways. Perhaps, in those ways, we can find our selves, and in those ways, we can be a better version of our selves. After all, it’s part of our journey through life.

As for you, what are your ways to mend your broken heart? Send me a message. Tell me your story and let’s discuss about life lessons and mending our broken hearts!

Until then... Keep wandering!

• The Wandering Kru