A Breath of Fresh Air

The other day I nearly died. Not in any metaphorical way but in the most realest. Apparently keeping it real can go very, very wrong. To be honest, near death experiences have somewhat been a specialty of mine. Not always in the most daring and exciting ways either. It seems that my chief nemesis is my own patience. To be blunt I choked on a piece of ham. The situation lasted long enough to have a few thoughts. Embarrassed that this was how it was going to happen, I paced the kitchen a few times. I even thought how I should try and stand or how my body was going to react when I started to fall.

Tried to Inhale

I started recalling every time since childhood when this situation would occur. The most embarrassing was elementary school. 3rd grade. I had the cutest teacher and she was so nice. To say I had just a crush on her would have been a declaration of war. She was the one! Well, it was Easter and everyone brought boiled eggs and treats to swap. I am certain you know where this is going. I ended up choking on an egg yolk. The love of my life came from around a long cafeteria table to save me after seeing me struggling as we were eating across from each other. I am not sure if she helped or if I just managed to puke it out right on her beautiful Easter dress. I have no further memory of that school, teacher or anything that happened after that for some time.

I started getting angry at myself. How stupid and careless of me. How many times is this going to happen before I slow the fuck down.

Again.

Pacing. This shit is not going down. I had always been able to force down anything. Not this time. Shits starting to really scare me. I started thinking about my wife. She is the cutest and so nice. To say I just had a crush on her would have been a declaration of war. She is the one! Well it's fucking Thanksgiving and I am about to pass out in our kitchen choking on a fucking piece of meat. How was she going to feel? How was my son and daughter going to handle this? Anger at myself grew. Suddenly the love of my life came from around the corner asked me if I was ok.

again.

I walked towards her and turned around so she could try and help from behind about the same time I realized, like a damn raccoons paw around a shiny object, I needed to quit trying to swallow that shit and get it out. Imagine that? The lump of ham came flying out of my throat and I overhand threw that shit into the sink. HARD.

Naturally, ever since I have been in deep reflection. Mulling over regrets and misdeeds. And of course I have been reprioritizing the this and the thats. Would love to feel that perhaps the situation would cause you as a reader to reflect on your own as well. I am not sure there is any more of a point that I am trying to poke you with other than to say, it is never to late to start shit up again so... hi.

treach