Social insecurity, why?

in #trending7 years ago

miedo-al-rechazo.jpg The vast majority has happened to us as children or even as adults, it is difficult for us to feel safe with someone we do not know or with that person that attracts us. We are knotted at the time of speaking, we are afraid of making mistakes in front of those people, we pretend things that we are not just trying to impress others, and we even try to leave those parts of our way of being that make us different and special just to be "normal" and be accepted by the rest. Insecurity is difficult, but not impossible to overcome.
First of all we will understand the reason for this. Our brain has a primitive part that still behaves as if we were in that time in which we lived in tribes, in which everything was very wild and dangerous. At that time our tribes were not very numerous, so everyone knew each other. The rival tribes were estranged and not very often you ran into a stranger and if you met him, it usually meant problems, because the rival tribes were attacking each other to keep the women and belongings of the other. So getting close to talking to strangers or seducing a woman from another tribe was a suicidal idea, unless you wanted the men of the rival tribe to "caress" your head against a rock.
Today the risk of relating to strangers is almost nil, but that part of our brain has not realized that, and that is why even if you know that those people you are knowing will not hurt you, even You feel like defensive. Now I will give you some tricks to counter this:
Experience: do you remember the feeling of fear you felt when driving a car for the first time? but with time you started doing it as naturally as if it were part of you. Well, the same goes for social relationships, the lack of experience in any aspect of our life produces insecurity, so I recommend you get into social groups such as academies of music, art, dance, sports or whatever you want, at first It will be difficult for you to relate to these people, but then you will do it with total naturalness, just like what happened when learning to drive.
Realizing that it is not like it was in the past: whenever you are feeling insecure, ask yourself, is something bad going to happen to me if I talk to these people? What is the worst that can happen? After you ask yourself questions like these you will realize that this fear has no reason and you will immediately begin to feel a little more sure of yourself.
Leave the ego: when you feel insecure do not try to hide it, because you can lie to other people telling them that you are not, but you can not fool yourself. In addition to that those emotions that we repress usually become more intense. So admit that emotion and let it flow. Also remember that this happens because our brain has a hard time processing the lies, and while the brain enters into that conflict against what you tell it and what it knows to be true you will begin to feel uncomfortable with this internal conflict.
Source of the image:https://www.lagaceta.com.ar/nota/631843/sociedad/temor-no-ser-querido-lleva-obsesionarse-agradar-o-aislarse.html