My Life's Journey - Finally rebuilding our home with my father after it was ravaged by war.
You can still see the bullet holes in front part of the house..
"Rebuilding our home, and rebuilding our hearts."
Many years have passed since the war between Croatia and Serbia, but the effects of war you can still even feel today. If you drive around Croatia there are thousands of completely destroyed or severely damaged houses all around the country. Our house is one of them. From my personal experience, it is save to say nobody ever truly wins in war. Everybody loses. Even until this day, our house has not been properly rebuilt and it has been almost 20 years since the war ended.
During the war, my family had to spend 3 years in exile. We had to pick our stuff up and run away from our home. Not an easy thing to do, but it was necessary to keep us safe. I don't remember much of war, but one thing stuck in my mind. As we were running away the bag full of my favorite toys got too heavy to carry. Everybody already had their hands full, and could not help me carry it. So my mom just took it off my back and chucked it into to the river. They were just toys, but as a kid not really understanding what was happening it was the hardest moment in my life so far. I was mad at her for weeks. Yep, I was spoiled as a kid. lol We spent 3 years living in a Split. In a hotel designated for people refugees who were running away from the territories ravaged by war.
The war started in 1991, and ended in 1995 with a big military movement of Croatian army called Oluja which liberated the city of Knin, and along the way my hometown called Drnis. I remember at the time my brother and I was in Dubrovnik living with our aunts family for the moment. The news came on the TV, and my brother and I were hugging each other, and crying at the same time. It meant sooner than later we will get to go home finally.
The return was home was not an easy thing to do since our father went back first to see what is left of our house. It was severely damaged. The roof was damaged. Had to rebuild it completely. The walls inside were destroyed. All the furniture completely destroyed. Water leaking everywhere.Which in the end meant we would have to wait little way longer so our father could make the house livable again. I am sure it was not a pretty sight for my father since he had been living in this house for all his life.
Our house was damaged, but we actually were lucky since none of the family members were killed, or injured during the war. The only thing our family had to rebuild were material things. There were so many other families who lost much more, and those things can't be rebuilt like our house.
About a year after the war my father finally made our home livable again, and that meant we get to home first time after the war ended. I remember walking inside, but the house inside was still a very sad sight to see. It really did not matter much to us. We were home. It was all it matters. In the picture below you can see my father Milan, mother Ljiljana, my brother Nikola, and me right after our return to Drnis. O yes, let's not forget our extended family dog Sara, and a cat called Balki. We were all sleeping in the living room together until we fix the other rooms in our house.
Years have passed after the war, but our house has not been rebuilt to this day. My father at the beginning was more concerned with putting the food on our table and sending us to school than making the house look pretty again. It was not easy feeding, and raising 3 boys, and saving enough money to invest in rebuilding the house. Especially after the war.
Anyway, every year after I started to play pro-basketball I would come home, and looking at the house not fully rebuilt was a torn in my heart. It was even easy for me, but for my father was a heart full of sorrow looking at his house like this. He was not saying it, but I know what he was thinking. So one year I came back from my season, and sat down with my father, and made a plan.
Every summer I return from my season I will invest in the house, and my dad will invest his expertise in building. He is a kind of guy who knows how to fix and do pretty much anything. We only needed to buy the materials, and get to work. He knows how to do everything, but he is 63 years old now, and he needs some muscle to help him out with the heavy work. So he is the brain of the operation, and my brother and I are the little minions. lol 
So the first year we fixed the balconies on the second floor of our house which was leaking water inside the walls. The result of the leaks was mold all over the walls in our living room and hallway. As soon we put new tiles and fixed the holes on the balconies we started working on our living room. We ended up fixing the walls and giving them a fresh layer of paint. Plus I added some decorations from the gorgeous sea shells I found on the beach in Caorle, Italy. Where I played one of my seasons. It already started to feel more like home. 
This year we decided to work on entry hallway and the walls alongside the stairs leading to the second floor our house. The work started with stripping the walls completely and fixing the parts which had water damage. It took some time to strip it all, and prepare some parts for new gypsum boards. This is how it all looked. It looks terrible, but just like in life, sometimes you have to start all the way from the bottom and work yourself way up.
So after all the preparation was finished, and the water damaged holes were filled with new cement, we started to fit new gypsum boards along the wall of the stairway. The first day we only managed to fit first 3 gypsum boards on the wall, since it takes some planning how to do it right. We have to watch the curves, and keeping everything at the right angle. We can't say we truly rebuilt it with crooked walls. lol Anyways here's how the work is progressing right now. 
It is not easy to get those gypsum boards in correct place since both my dad and me a tall and long. Always running into each other in such a small place we have to work in. Sometimes it feels like we are playing twister. Our legs and hands are everywhere, and sometimes we are tripping each other and bumping heads. O well, as long we get the job done it is all good. lol
For me, this is way more than just rebuilding a house. It is healing of my dad's, and my heart. This is our home, and we are rebuilding it with our own two hands. It truly does not get much better than this. I am sure when it's all set, and done it will look amazing, and we will be proud of what we have accomplished.
There is still plenty of work left as you saw. We have to finish putting gypsum boards on the stairway walls. Put a new layer of cement on the hallway walls, and paint it all. I am looking forward to the challenge ahead.
If you want to keep up with the updates on our progress it will be under this #rebuildingourhome.
"If you truly want to do something you will be grateful for, do it with your own two hands."
Here are some of my other posts. :)
https://steemit.com/steemit/@awakentolife/my-basketball-journey-happiness-hidden-within-the-struggle
https://steemit.com/tsufamily/@awakentolife/my-life-s-journey-amazing-day-with-my-brother-nikola
ALL THE IMAGES POSTED, AND WORDS WRITTEN IN THIS POST BELONG TO ME. 100% ORIGINAL
Wrong line... 🙂
Amazing story, Djuro - and there is no question about it.
But there is another thing that bothers me. I know there were (not sure if they still are) some Renovation & Reconstruction Funds exactly for the people and their homes, exactly as such as your family are.
As far as I understood from your article, you are financing the whole project from your own money, while you have the right as war victims for help from above-mentioned funds. It might not be whole in money, as sometimes they were giving building material and stuff, sometimes combined - but what I'm sure of - you really have to investigate that and apply to get some. You have all the rights!
We actually did upon the return, but there were rules on how to get the funds. One of the rules where that our house had to be on fire to get a significant amount. We only got bricks to replace our roof, and that is it. So everything now is coming out of my own pocket, unfortunately. But, I don't care. As long as we fix it. :)
I see, but please don't neglect that possibility totally. Try to investigate again, maybe at local authorities or even through the websites of the relevant ministry. They sometimes reopen some projects under different conditions. And there is also EU Funds for different purposes maybe you could fit in with your project. Think about it too.
I sure will if there is a possibility to do so. It would help us tremendously. I will have to ask around. It will not hurt to do so. Thank you for the advice. It is much appreciated. :)
Yes, you should for sure! As it's really crazy that they gave you only the roofing tiles, while many others got even whole houses completely rebuild, including interior essentials. So, it would be even more crazy that your family as a domicile nation would receive some crumbs when in those war-affected areas even the Serbian families got their homes renovated from those funds (and it wasn't some exceptional case - many of them).
I could not agree with you more. But, that is what my father told me it happened after the war. I never really looked further into it. Maybe there were more ways my parents were not aware of at the time. It did suck though no matter the reason why we did not get more help.
You have to ask, even demand as they wouldn't come by themselves and ask you if you need something.
If needed - make a show at local authorities office! (You know what I mean.) 😉
Well, you probably know this better than me and you know how messed up our country is when it comes to some things. My dad has been chasing military pension for 20 years now. Even though he has all the necessary paperwork, they just keep sending him more and more paperwork, and dragging him across doctors even though he did all the tests need to be done 5 times over. Unless you have good connections it is hard to get anything in this country.
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This was great to read having spent time all around that area and I think even having passed through Drnis and having many friends from the area I found reading it very emotive
Looking forward for you and your family to have the work all completed
Thank you. It will be hard to have it all completed this year. Maybe in 2-3 years as we accumulate the funds to do so. Since I am only home for the summer when my basketball season is over. But, every year we do a little. We will get it done. I will post an update on how we are doing today. There is still plenty of work to do :)
Thank you, my friend, for the wonderful comment. It is not an easy sight to see so many houses destroyed by war. But, I will restore our house with my father to the former shine. It is going to take some time and lot of work, but I am sure we will do it. :)
I am glad to hear you will restore it, driving through the area and seeing all the damage from the fighting was very hard to see
It is very hard. It is a constant reminder to all of us how terrible war is. I will restore. It will take some years to accumulate funds for it, but every year after my season I leave the part of earnings for the house. I am hoping through 3-4 years it will be fully restored to former glory :)
I just wonder what we should do to get the leaders of our crazy world to realise that no-one wins in a war - and that the scars run deep - and will last for centuries to come :(
Anyhow - reading your story - war also creates strong people - one has to be.
Let's enjoy what we have!
That is a good question? What should we do? What can we really do? I believe we can do whatever we want to do if we just come together in one common goal.
It does create strong people, but it also creates people with broken hearts and souls as the war took some of their loved ones.
Thank you for your comment.
Have an amazing day. :)
Reading your story and looking at your family warms my heart. You DO look more like your dad and your brother more like your mom.
The laughter of your dad (even in his 60s) is superb! I could see that joy and kinder spirit in him planning and rebuilding the house. The way you describe your dad reminds me of my own dad. He really does know how to do a lot of stuffs, almost everything I must say. I used to help him when we repainted our living room once a while, and while I was away and my brother was getting married he literally repainted my brothers room all by himself! That's the superdads we have.
Right now my dad is in his 70s and his hands are frail. Sometimes it hurts to see him unable to hold the hammer like he used to but he never gives up making the family house a little nicer everytime I return home to visit them. That sort of never give up spirit is something I will forever admire and remember him for.
I look forward to see your family home back as good as new. Those shells are MASSIVE! I was wondering were those just wall papers until I re-read your post.
Definitely a post worth upvoting!
I really do. I even have the same a bit crooked nose like my father. lol
I can remember so many times when something would break down, he would not quit until he fixed it.Just like you said a never give up attitude. I believe it is a big reason why all my family is alive today. That attitude got us through war. That is why all through his life he acquired knowledge to do and fix literally anything. I would have to agree with you, superdads indeed.
The shells were massive since they made such a big holes. Soon we will patch those up too. Anyways thank you for stopping by, and leaving a wonderful comment. I will keep you updated on our progress. :)
Have an amazing day. :)
When I read your story, it is with sadness that anyone should have to go through this understanding of what war means in their lifetime, even for a moment.
The heartbreak and the certain defeated feeling that your father must have felt upon returning to the house would have been more than a wife could bear. As the head of the household, I cannot imagine the responsibility of keeping everyone safe and having the task of starting all over – actually worse because cleaning a mess is harder than beginning new, but, the pride of being in the same familial home of your ancestors…. I would have to rebuild as he did.
I am trying to put myself in your shoes and wonder if I would be that person that rises above it. I hope I would. Would I survive this feeling of having so much taken away from me? Not material things, but, the peace, the safety, the love of my neighbors? You are very brave to me.
To step up and assist in the repairs is such an admirable thing to do. Something that can only be done in the purity of love. I cannot imagine how your father feels every time he looks at you. I am sure that he is so proud of the man you are becoming.
I admire you and I do not even know you. You have my thoughts and prayers as you continue to rehab and put your parent’s life back to where it once was. God bless you and your family. Truly.
Wonderful writing. Please keep it up! I apologize for the length of this response. Upvoted, Resteemed and Following
First of all, thank you for an amazing response. It makes all my writing and sharing my experiences all worth it.
As I was a little kid when the war was happening I do have some memories of it, but not too many. Most of my memories are after the war, and when we returned to our home. The persons who were hurt the most by the war were my parents.
I can't even imagine how they felt. I mean having it all set up for life, to start from zero in a very short time. I would not wish it to anyone. I mean everything you ever worked for all your life was taken from you. I can't imagine the feeling. I mean I can, but not to the extent my parents felt it. They had a great life before the war.
In order to go through all of that and constantly worry about the safety of your family is not easy. You have to be a strong person to do so. It did leave scars for sure, but it made us all stronger because of it. I truly believe in the saying "what does not kill you, it only makes you stronger."
I think you really can't know how strong you are until you are put in this kind of situation in life. I believe when it comes to protecting our loved ones we would all find the strength to do what is necessary. Including you my friend. Even though I do not wish to anyone to be put in this kind of situation to find out.
The war is over a long time ago, and I am just happy I finally have the means to rebuild what we lost during the war. It has been my silent wish for years. By doing so heal some of my father's scars, and return at least part of what he lost. All the "reward" I need from this is when I see my dad work with such a passion, and love. I know it means the world to him.
With every board and bucket of paint, we will heal some of the pain a war left behind. Plus I will create some great memories with my father. There will always a memory of me working on with my dad every time I pass the things we repaired. I will tell the story to my future kids. :)
Thank you for all your wonderful wishes and prayers @dswigle. You have truly made my day brighter. In order to write such a passionate response, you have to be a wonderful person. I wish all the best to you and your entire family.
I will keep you posted on our progress.
Much love,
Duro
Duro, Exactly. It is your mother and father that truly have my heart. After all, it was their responsibility to take care of their family. Can you imagine their whispered, hurried conversations on what would be best and where in the world could they go? How many people lost their livelihood? Everything they ever worked for? Not only things, but, this shakes the very core of your inner peace.
I will tell you that my parents were frightened to be kicked out of a country and threatened with being arrested, the whole family. Although it was Communist at the time, we had the proper visas to visit relatives there. Years later, I still shake at the thought of my father and mother being threatened with being thrown in prison.
The lesson has not been lost on you. I admire you much for that. You are using this horrific experience in the most positive way. You are working as a team with your dad, helping him as he ages, showing him that you are there for him. The memories you make will be yours forever. Of course I hope you are taking pictures as you work, they make great memories.
As for your parents, my heart goes out to them. How different their life would have been? But, under Communism? Have they gained anything? I am not sure. I do know that war never solved anything. I have always said that if the Generals were in the front lines leading the troops, there would be no wars. It is the truth.
Thank you for keeping me in the loop with the progress. I look forward to the next installment. You are, indeed a remarkable individual. Your parents really did a great job instilling family values in you and certainly curbed what could easily have been hatred for all the loss. Your love shines through.
Shine on!
Much love back,
Denise
PS... Your English is better than most Americans. Bravo.
I can't even imagine their state of mind at the moments all was happening. I mean if you make a wrong decision, all can go the very very wrong. I am just glad they were strong enough to make strong decisions. It literally saved all our lives.
Well, with this rebuilding I am hoping to return at least a bit of inner peace to my father. I am really hoping it slowly erase, or at least cover up all the bad memories from those times. At least destroyed wall will not remind him of the thing lost, but rather of the times we worked together to fix it all. That is my goal.
I can't even imagine what your parents were going through. I mean it is basically being a stranger in your own country. Even, though you had all the paperwork. It is sad to see sometimes what people can do to each other.
I know one thing. All the wars are started by a handful of individuals. Next time we are about to go to war I would lock those individuals into rooms and let them kill each other instead millions of people.
Actually, I can only speak from what my parents told me about the time before the war. They actually told me back then people had opportunities, they had good salaries, and lived good lives. If you worked hard, you would have a good life. Today, from my personal experience in Croatia people are living hard lives. Politicians have destroyed our economy. We import more than we produce. Farmers and workers are miserably paid. Corruption is at all time high. From my parent's experience, they lived a much better life before the war.
Well, my parents always taught me to never hate anything or anybody. Treat everybody, like they treat you. I have many Serbian friends. Why should someone be judged by the mistakes of their past? I don't care about your race, color, nationality or anything. If you are a good hearted human being it is all I need to know. That was their lesson to me, and I believe it is a correct one.
Thank you again for a wonderful comment. I really enjoy having this amazing conversation with you Denise. It is priceless to have someone you can really express your feelings, and opinions with. :)
P.S Well, I am cheating a bit since I spent 6 years in the US. I graduated from Sacramento State University with a diploma in International and Intercultural Communications. :)
Here is the link to my Introduce Myself post so you can get to know me a bit better.
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@awakentolife/introducing-myself-to-steemit
Plus another great story of my basketball experience in Italy last season. I believe it is worth reading if you have time for it. :)
https://steemit.com/steemit/@awakentolife/my-basketball-journey-happiness-hidden-within-the-struggle
My goodness Durko, I had no idea you had to go through this., but yes, you are one of those luckier onec since you still have eachother. When my daughter was 18, she was dating a boy from Bosnia. Him and his family had to leave everything and escape to Canada. War is nothing but insanity. I wish you all the best with rebuilding your family house with your dad and brother. Keep us posted. UPV & RSD 😊
Indeed, my friend, we were very fortunate we did not lose anybody. It would make things much worse. I can't even imagine how the families who lost somebody feel after the war. Many people scattered all over the world in order to hide from it.
War is pointless, there are no winners. Everybody loses. Always.
I will keep you updated my friend. Thank you for an amazing comment, and your wishes.
XOXOXOXOOXO.
You are most welcome Durko and I wish you and your family all the best 🌸💖🌸💖🌸
What a story! But you all survived, and fantastic that you can finally restore your home to its former glory! Wish you well with the project, will be following the progress!
Thank you @lizelle. Yes, we all survived, and in the end, it was all that mattered. Now we only have to rebuild the home and our hearts. :)
Thank you for a thoughtfull comment. Have an amazing day. :)
I hope you to finish it soon !
Thank you, my friend. I hope so too :)
Have a great day. :)