I Like UASF – Though Don’t Support War

Prelude: I wanted to keep this short but didn‘t. This is an outline and more is to follow. No claim to be correct on this content but I hope to mentally open a door while thankfully awaiting everyone to s*** on me.

For a while now I felt like sitting in an echo chamber hearing only ‚how to ensure UASF succeeds‘ and ‚Fork your mother... #Jihan‘, some even saying ‚Only a node that is mining is a true full node.‘ kicking every validating non-miner-full-node straight in the face.

I find Bitcoins community and all its ups and downs enlightening, !love it!. We have the best serious discussions and disclosures, mighty developers who could delete the internet within a blink of an eye, intense ties worldwide and the very best trolls no backroom forum could‘ve ever given birth to. Out of all blockchains Bitcoin is the only one useful, is the most used, accepted and the most legitimate, the most powerful, the most decentralized, and the most secure digital store of value besides the most of the most, even having died the most.

Bitcoin is breaking!
—someone, always

Yes, ATH.

Bitcoin is broken!
—someone, always

Not yet.

But don’t force me into breaking it!

Hypocrisy

Bitcoin status quo might not be greatest at the moment. But it still works and I rather pay high transaction fees to miners instead of any taxes for governments bombing people.

My due-diligence on the topic uncovered, UASF could be a very powerful tool. A powerful tool, which if used now will be abused in the future. Why? Simply because users are always going to call for it when ‚parents don’t play along‘. Bitcoin and its community still is very young. Maybe too young?

Wars not make one great.
—Yoda, in the future

Happy family

Miners are the ones providing. At least for now, but that could change. I don’t judge the quality of their job parenting today...parents always suck. And children have a tendency to play them off.

UASFers seem to do so (at this point in history) like juveniles having a fit about being required to wear a helmet while swimming. That obviously makes no sense, everyone knows. As everyone also knows parents say and do stupid things in order to not put up with difficult questions. Hence, I am rebellious by cutting into my arteries...crossways not longitudinal. I want attention.

The answer is 42.

There are many possible ways a UASF could turn out. We even could argue until we‘ve finally missed the point: Improving without governance. 1000 szenarios – I like it simple:

For this interpretation I had to make arguable assumptions. IMO a model is only useful if kept simple. So looking at this I hypothesize: We’re on the wrong path.

The correct view depends on the glasses we put on. Either miners or users are the problem. In any case ‚parents are held liable for their children‘. ETHheads love that trouble in Bitcoin, DASHers are ready to dash. Everyone waits in pole position for being first at ‚feeling sorry for your tragic break up‘, finally becoming the new happy family in the neighborhood running around with maniac smiles. Until that family grows big enough to have just same issues.

The root of all evil is Bitcoin — take it away and all problems are gone.
–me quoting myself, just now

So I pretend to be somewhat intelligent and wanting to prevent a chain split. Yes, SegWit is great code and we have waited long enough. — Yes, it solves bugs and scalability for now. — Yes, AsicBoost is not gentleman alike, should disable it, not good. — Yes, I want Bitcoin to be innovative and to move on. — Yes, yes, yes. — Yes, miners can keep face. — Yes, I pledge guilty and retreat from BIP148-UASF.

Mom, dad, I’m sorry, won’t happen again, no promise.
–me still quoting myself, just now

However, I really don’t want to see two Bitcoin and I am not happy about being put on the spot by this BIP148-UASF. I have a life and unfortunately not enough time to support this mania the way I would like for it to succeed. I just see it to suck-ceed. It’s not that urgent yet. Please, proof me wrong on this, I wish for it.

Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the world.
—weird guy, before BTC

So after having calmed down I asked myself: Why put pressure on pimples and risk ugly scars? Instead I can still show myself as being the loving submissive child stroking my parents hands, intensely whispering ‚we got this‘. An obused child, slowly growing up and getting mature. Slowly making a plan. Very carefully in case this plan ever has to be executed. ‚Parents, beware – I’m the one choosing your nursing home‘. Until then I am sticking to my parents because I need their love – even if that love is mostly beatings.

The Community Improvement Protocol (CIP) and wishful thinking about unicorns

What I‘d like to see the community do for being taken seriously and not as threat:

1. Having a fit. Look for /Satoshi:0.14.1(CIP.EMP.keep.calm.milk.me)/
2. Getting mining equipment and learning how to potentially use it.
3. EmergencyMiningPool (EMP): Learning within a testnet how to pool party hard!
4. Clearly define emergency szenarios for an EMP.
5. Never stop working on consensus:
   ● SegWit + 2MB HF + no AsicBoost in 20yesterday?
   ● BIP200 + my fat red cat and brand new lawn gnome?
   ● A shower head with a round edge to keep your hair dry?

To be clear about it: Keep calm, no hurry to grow up. Some want this to be Armageddon for Bitcoin and empathy is the solution to prevent that. Empathy is our glue. Call me naive.

And money. Yeah, money is a pretty good glue too.

And alcohol. Once in a while. Just cannot remember afterwards.

There is a German saying which goes ‚the smarter guy gives in‘. So the dumbest rules? ‚Good things take time to ripen‘ and ‚patience is a virtue‘ – ‚When I’m a grownup I won’t do the same mistakes my parents did‘

Honestly? Parents just f****** suck! Give me some chocolate and leave me with my Bitcoin dead broken-hearted. If I had the money I would even go to therapy — Wait, didn’t the value of my Bitcoin triple, quadruple, quinjizzle? Well, thank you miners for keeping my Bitcoins secure and milking me. But remember:

I’m the one choosing your nursing home.
–me quoting myself again, just now