#ulog: For Mr.Wrong

An Open Letter To Mr. Wrong,

You were once my Mr. Right. We, or it’s just I, thought that we’ll be together until the end. But God has a different plan for us, far from the plans we had before.

It’s true that my life shattered when you left. I was devastated, lost, empty and almost suicidal. But thank God that He makes all things work together for good. Yes, I lose you but I found myself. I learned a lot and let me thank you for each of it.

Thank you, because I realized that I am strong. I lost count how many liters of tears I cried day and night. How many times I asked God to bring you back, thinking that it’s the ‘only’ way for me to be okay again. Even to the point of considering suicide just to end the pain.

Until I realized that it’s not fair on my part that while you’re okay, I am miserable. And so I mustered all the strength that I have to pick myself up again no matter how hard it was. I helped myself to finally let go and move on.

And discovered again how to live life without you. Now, I’m healed and whole again by God’s grace. Looking back, I still can’t believe that I was able to overcome the pain that almost killed me. That I was able to stand up again and continue the good fight of faith. I never thought I can be this genuinely happy again even apart from you. I must say, the pain only made me stronger than before.

Thank you, because I realized my worth. How many times I begged you to stay even when you were already pushing me away. I didn’t mind losing my dignity if that would be the only way for you to change your mind, to stay and never leave me.

But still you chose to go and that woke me up to my senses. It made me realized that I don’t deserve this kind of rejection. I deserve better than this. I deserve someone I don’t need to chase. I deserve someone who’ll see my worth. And unfortunately, I need to accept the fact that ‘someone’ is not you. No matter how much I want to keep holding on, I need to let you go for my own good. That’s why I said to myself, never again I’ll beg someone to stay in my life. I’ll raise my standard to what I deserve.

So I surrendered everything to God — pain, memories, and even the feelings that I have for you — and move on with my own life. I just believe that someone better will come along, the one that God has reserved for me.
Thank you, for being my Mr. Wrong, so that I could learn to love and appreciate my Mr. Right.

Thank you because I am now a better person. When you left, I had a lot of realizations. I realized I was and still an immature and insecure woman. I also realized that I’m not yet really ready for a relationship with the responsibilities attached to it. So I promised myself that the next time I’d enter a relationship again, I’ll be a better partner. I’ll be more patient, caring, and understanding. And most of all, I’ll be more prayerful and a secured woman in the Lord. I will not rush again to fall in love rather I’ll wait until the right time comes.
But more than all the learning I had through my moving-on journey, I also learned a lot from you. One of the things I admire you most is how patient you were with me. I salute you for your deep passion for the Lord and your wisdom on how you live your life. You are indeed an awesome man. That’s why I’m still grateful that God let our path crossed even just for some time. I don’t regret knowing you. You will always be one of the people who made me a better person now and I thank you for that.

Thank you Mr. Wrong, you’re maybe one of my greatest mistakes but the mistake that I’m glad it happened for you taught me a lot from the start of our story until its last chapter.