Ulog 002: The unfillable Void inside
I NEED HELP
Empty, yet feels heavy
Have you ever experienced where you feel like you are constantly in need of something that you don't even know?
You feel like you are just a mere empty shell without purpose.
This past weeks, I'm really having a hard time figuring out what is happening in me. I always feel like I am in desperate need of something or someone that could fill the emptiness that lurks within the depths of myself.
I don't even know what made me feel this way.
Is it my choice to pursue different college course instead of what I loved? or The hole left by her still remain empty waiting to be filled again? or Is it my sinister-slash-logical personality taking over me and wants nothing but more knowledge?
I don't really have any ideas as to what I want or whom I miss.
But a big HOLE rests within me and waiting to be filled.
Many nights kept me awake leaving me restless and bombarded by the thought of how pathetic I am to feel completely nothing.
It is definitely hard trying to solve such problem when you don't even know what is asked at the first place. Like an incomplete math problem or a riddle that only give more confusions to the reader that is unsolvable to begin with.
I've been feeling this crazy emotion for a month now. I have tried different ways and solutions that I see fit to fill the "hole" but nothing worked. I tried cooking different recipes everyday I found online yet I still feel incomplete. I tried making various deserts and sweets but I gained nothing. Only carbs and sugars fill my stomach not that something I need. I even tried entertaining kids with age 3-5 years old at home which I seriously don't to be with. But still I get nothing, I am even more annoyed being with them.
This is seriously pain in the ass.
Mendokusai
Being in this state, I feel really sad but without any reason at all. I pretend to smile and laugh like I mean it but no emotion is portrayed. I feel like I'm being fake to others and to myself.
I can't help it. This is what I am right now.
I don't know if this is what depression feels like but I don't have any reason to be depressed at all.
I am always happy. I do things what I want to so I don't have regrets. So I have no reason to be sad. I shouldn't be feeling this way.
I don't know anymore.
😞😞
The drawing Process
- Sketching
- Inking
- Shadowing.
- Applying some minor details. And its done.
Hope you all like it. Thank You guys!!
I was also feeling tired and empty and I don't even know how and what I feel. I couldn't even keep up my studies. Every day, I sit on the chair to study but all I do is staring at the book and the notes.
I guess it's because of something in the atmosphere or something like that. I noticed so many people were feeling this way these days.
I think that we all have to encourage ourselves and to self-motivate to do our work.
Maybe trying something or learning something that you are not very familiar about will help you like photography, music, dancing or something like that. Visit the garden and spend a little time with nature.
This'll help too; write all the negative things that come to your mind and the emotions that come to you on a piece of paper and read them and burn it. While it burns, think that every negative feeling is burning and becomes ash. Then imagine that you are all fresh and everything is settled up and you are all motivated and positive.
Hope these will help you 😁 Put on the happy face and never give up 👍
And I shouldn't forget to say that your drawing is super awesome. Above all, the creativity is super awesome.
Thank you so much for this. I'm really grateful to be part with steemit community.
I guess I'll try more things to make myself all good.
thank you for this awesome advice
It's not your fault dear, everyone is feeling like trash in this period. We're also having troubles here, the weather is terribly bad and some areas are flooding and we caught a bad cold.
Till the good times arrive, why don't you engage in something new? My best suggestion is to exercise. Well, not just dips and weights, you can try some cardio workout to a crazy beat! Man, I'll tell you it's the best mood changer ever! This sounds stupid but why don't you have a taste of Zumba or other kinds of dance? You don't have to be good at it, it's just for fun!
A good book or movies and anime will also help you. Or have a chat with someone special ;) Escape from reality for a moment. And keep believing that everything's gonna be perfect than ever :D
Hope I didn't bother you with my lecture. If you need someone to talk, I'll be there. Now smile!!!
Chopper is soo adorable
Yeah maybe I should do excercise. I don't really spend much time for exercise, only when I feel to do it..
And, yeah I've been reading mangas lately and watching good animes. I think somehow it helps me not think of what I'm feeling right now.
Thank You so muuucch for your advice. You surely didn't bother me.
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