My First ULog : Missing My Dad

This is my very first entry for my #ulog and today I am also remembering the day when father left us 4 years ago. May 6, 2014 at around 3PM.

I will never forget the day before my dad left us. My father was already suffering from a mild stoke which he surpassed several times, he can still walk though half of his body was partly affected by a mild stroke. He was 71 yrs old then, but he's still the witty and funny grandpa whom my kids love. We can still ask him any question and he'll be able to answer them. He always have a funny story to tell and he'd also love to tell stories about the gold old days. I also missed his songs, we love listening to his own versions of Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole and Tom Jones songs, @teardrops will really fall if you miss someone so dearly.

We know how hot summer is, we're experiencing more than 40C of heat. May 3rd of 2014, my father just told us that he was feeling dizzy and we forced him to go to the nearest hospital because he said he's gonna be ok. His blood pressure went up to 220/180 and he was given Catapres to lower his BP and the doctor advised us to bring him to a bigger hospital. We transferred him to a bigger hospital where he was immediately advised to be CT Scanned. Because there's no available bed in the ICU he stayed in the ward for a while and he had episodes of tantrums and he was asking my mom to bring him home. The diagnosis was not even clear to us they were saying it was stroke then because only the residents were monitoring him. Because of my dad is so persistent to go home, my mom asked me to sign a waiver and we brought him home the next day May 4, a Sunday.

We took turn in taking care of him and making sure that he drinks his medication on time. He was responsive, he still recognized us and know all our names. He would even smile when we crack a joke. I went to work the next day(Monday) and just called my mom to remind her of the time that my dad needs to drink his medicine. When I went home that night I talked to him and check if he still remembers us and he still did, although his speech was a bit slur he can still say our name.

I never believed in stories before that a person on his death bed reaches out to their departed love ones. But we saw my dad reaching out to the window that Monday night but it never came to my mind that we will lose him. He was still responsive that Monday night and he even stood up.

When I woke the next day I went to check on my dad and he was still sleeping, his sleeping position was never changed and I never bothered to wake him up, he was snoring so I know he was sleeping. I went to work as usual and left our house early in the morning. When I got to the office I called my Mom to remind her of my Dad's medicine and she was crying and she told me my Dad is not responding and she can't wake him up. I asked permission from my Manager and hurried back home. I was in tears while I was on my way home. I went straight to our Parish Church and asked for a Priest to come to our house, the parish secretary said the Priest will only be available in the afternoon, still I requested a schedule for the annointing of the sick.

My Dad was still breathing, he was still snoring but he was not responding at all when I got home at 9AM. We gathered around my dad and started praying, hoping that he will still wake up. Unfortunately, at around 3PM we noticed that he wasn't snoring and there was a tear on his eyes. Tried to take his blood pressure but I can't get any reading. I felt numbness after that.

Losing a parent is very painful, cause they can't be replaced in our hearts and mind. Especially if we love them so much. I know any death will cause too much pain. I am an orphan now and if I will be given a chance to be with my parents again I will definitely do everything to make them happy again. Life is too short and we must treasure every moment that we are with our loved ones, make them feel special and loved! We can never bring back those people that we've missed. Why not make the most of who are with us NOW and who we have at the PRESENT time! It's hard to live a life full of regret.