Reasons Why The Marriage Institution Is Not Working

in #ulog5 years ago

This post was published previously in narrative by me @stbrians.

'Till Death Do Us Part" changed to 'Till We Fail To Agree"

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It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

Friedrich Nietzsche

There seems to be more divorce certificates than marriage certificates nowadays. Things have changed much. There are men and women out there who have bowed never to enter into marriage forever. Single parents are on the increase too.

There are some marriage institutions which died long ago yet they still live together for the sake of the public. Spouses have separated rooms or those who share a matrimonial bed face different directions. It is only backs which meet but deeply covered in bed sheets. What has happened? What has gone wrong with the vows made on the pulpit?

I will love you in happiness and sadness, in richness and poverty. Nothing will come between us till death do us part.

Where is the love?

"You are the honey in my life. Without you I cannot live." Were these empty words?

Pixabay

Where is the gist of being together? You did not see nor hear anything when you were together. Your conversations took ages. You seemed not to have enough time for each other.

"We shall walk together in purple rain. We shall bathe together in everlasting love. Your voice in my ears is like sweet melodies from the birds of the air. When I hold you in my hands the world stands still."

Yet all these have disappeared. You shout at each other. You no longer hold hands. What happened?

Pixabay

Here Are Reasons Why These Have Crawled Into Our Lives

**So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday. **

Nicholas Sparks

  1. It began with courting

In courting we lived a lie. Each person brought his best to the table. They created a supernatural way of life.

It is as if none performed the biological functions like going to the toilet. People borrowed to please their partners.

They never

discussed the

future. How many children at what interval did they want?

They just plunged into marriage. Some girls used pregnancy to hook their catch. That is when things started to grow sour and bitter.

Pixabay

  1. When in Marriage One Kept His Old Ways, Friends and Places Of Meeting

A married

person and

a single Person

are two different people.

A single person is free while a married person has another individual in their lives. While a single person can drink till late and even sleep out but a married person has responsibility to his family.

Once married, a married person should change their lifestyle to meet with a married life. They have to change friends, ideas and even aspirations.

"If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call."

Greg Behrendt

Pixabay

  1. People Are Grappling With Their Sexuality

Sexuality is an issue in today's society. There are people who are in straight marriages but are still wondering if they are gay or not. Others are double standards. They are in marriages and still involved in gay escapades. This has brought problems in marriages.

"There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you."

C. JoyBell C.

Pixabay

  1. Finances Have Broken Many Marriages

Couples should discuss how they will deal with finances in marriages. They should know if the operate separate or joint accounts. A joint account works better.

Other businesses and wealth should be discussed too.

"You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride."

Jodi Picoult, Mercy

Pixabay

  1. Communication In Marriage Is Vital

In marriage, there should be very efficient communication. It is useless taking gadgets like phones, media and others to take the place of your marriage. Lack of communication has broken many martiages. Some spouses suffer in silence. If they would have talked to their spouses then they would have saved their msrriages.

Communication

makes

a marriage.

Everything should be discussed thoroughly in marriages.

"Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"

Frank

Pixabay

  1. Showing Strength In Marriage Will Kill The Institution

Marriage partners are equal in many aspects. They may be good in some ways and poor in others but all should strengthen the marriage. If one spouse wants to overshadow the other then a problem arises.

There are people who use sex as a ransom. Unless the other person does this or that then they cannot come together. This is bad and may cause the marriage heavily.

What a partner

cannot get in their

marriage they will get it elsewhere.

"It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong. And if he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him. … I’m neither smart nor stupid, but I don’t think I’m a run-of-the-mill person. I’ve been in business without being a businesswoman, I’ve loved without being a woman made only for love. The two men I’ve loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness. I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice."

Coco Chanel

  1. The Devil Fights The Marriage Institute

The devil has not rested from the time he tried to separate the first marriage by making them disobey God. Though he created imperfectness, he has not stopped at that.

We can only

defeat the devil by

hiding in God.

A good marriage isn't something you find; it's something you make. When I have learnt to love Godbetter than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. Unfaithfulness in marriage is indicative of unfaithful hearts toward God. Marriage is such a beautiful relationship and a gift from God.

Pixabay

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