A Day in my Life... #ulog 49

Yesterday I was feeling okay for the most part throughout the day. The weather wasn't too bad, work went smoothly, and I was really starting to feel well with this cough and runny nose finally fading away.

It really was just one of those days that didn't seem to mean much, and on top of it all it was a Wednesday.

Even though it's still technically winter, it really feels like spring, especially with all the almond orchards already blooming. Actually flowers all around are already blooming, and with all this recent rain it's no wonder!

Like I said, the day was nice, but then the evening came, I decided to go out to eat with a friend, and suddenly it felt like the whole day was just a wash.

What happened? Well, said friend opened his big mouth bragging about his new job and just really bringing me down and feeling frustrated and hopeless.

A little background. When I first met him he didn't really have steady employment and had a bit of a rough patch where money was very tight and his parents were helping out, etc. And then somehow he fell into this one job that was paying pretty good, I think like around $12/hr.

Well, eventually that company got bought out, he was promoted and then suddenly he was making like $70k/year! Fast forward a bit, and he quit that job and got a new one and is now making $96k/year.... 😡 He doesn't hide the fact that he makes so much, and now I understand why it's in bad taste to talk about personal income!!!

So to top it all off, last night when we are in the car he's bragging some more about how he's on his third week of work and still hasn't gotten around to doing any actual work... Oh, and he gets health insurance with FULL COVERAGE and only has to pay $150/month and NO COPAYS, PLUS DENTAL AND VISION.

As he was telling me all this I didn't know how to react. Usually I like to interject with little comments to try to bring him back down to earth and remind him how stupid lucky and fortunate he is, but all of this just seemed so egregious and absurd. I started feeling a little dizzy and just tried to remain calm and quiet and he rattled on continuing his boasting.

I was starting to feel physically sick and was glad we were on our way to eat food so I would at least have something in my stomach to calm it down.

And then he informs me that he also gets a $100 bonus for going to a yearly physical. He seemed especially pleased about that one, "it's free money" he proclaimed.

Meanwhile I'm making almost five times less than him, have NO health insurance (along with chronic EXPENSIVE illness), no benefits at all actually, and I don't even eat all the time because I can't always afford to (which is why I go to eat at the buffet with him since he always pays).

It's getting to the point where I don't know if I can be around him anymore. I basically just use him for free food at this point, and that makes me feel bad so I don't know what to do right now. Plus he lives with his mom and doesn't have any debts or loans like I have to deal with so he's making just pure profit basically. And then he was also bragging about getting some huge tax return... 🙄😤

The most I've ever gotten back for taxes was like $2 from the state, and usually I owe the federal government a few hundred dollars. If I wasn't as frugal I'd be in a real tight spot. Meanwhile he's regularly eating $10 sandwiches for lunch and I'm just like okay yay for you guy, I guess I'm supposed to congratulate you and now down before you because you're such a better person than I based on your income...

So anyways, today was kind of clouded by my bad feelings last night. I did have this interesting scene I walked in on though 😆. The woman who lives there opened the door and apologized, saying they had a party last night and it was messy on account of the piñata. Well yeah, and you have a stripper pole installed in the middle of your living room now..! 🤣She tried to tell me last time she sells real estate in LA last time I was there, but I didn't believe her and suspected she was a dancer or something. I guess the stripper vibe she was giving off was pretty strong...

This cute fuzzy German shepherd puppy was at my last stop of the day. He was so friendly and curious, I just wanted to pick him up and cuddle for the rest of the afternoon.

Having all these feelings today of being poor and inadequate and just straight up trapped in an unfair system made me just want to give up today, but I can't so I didn't. I just wish I could wave a magic wand, or find a magic talisman that could bring just a little good fortune in my life for once. I hate when I get like this and just feel like a total loser, like I'm getting nowhere in life and that I'm totally behind the curve on everything.

Oh and to top it all off, I tried to bring blockchain into the conversation last night and he shut it down.

"That's just a fad".

Well, I don't think so and I hope one day to be able to prove him wrong and not have to feel so bad about my life's circumstances in comparison to him.

Until next time...

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