Ever Felt Like Universe Is Hearing You?

Life itself is a crazy experience. I think about this due to many situations I have been through and I have experienced so far. I can declare that to pursue your goals and follow the steps towards them, it is pretty inevitable to encounter some obstacles or troubles that can hold you back from moving on and slow you down, or even, lead you to despair. Consistency is not an easy thing when we have so many distractions. However, this is okay! I have dealt with depression and I know I still ongoingly carry that disease in my brain, it is just sleeping and it is fair to say "waiting for its next move". I am kind of accustomed to the possession of the disease.

I am writing these from Florida, United States. I came here from my hometown Istanbul last October. Living here in so-called paradise, Key West. In the beginning, I was dealing with severe depression and anxiety right before coming here, if everything was not arranged I would have changed my decision, those breakdowns continued and went worse after I arrived, felt homesick for the first-ever time in my life. However, slightly started getting used to life here since what I was seeking and in need of was being in a small town with not so many people, where I could bike almost everywhere etc. So I started healing, even though pre-existing conditions of my life back in Turkey were still there. Started earning money, planning trips, events, feeling more alive every now and then, although the days when I felt so down still didn't stop bothering me. Everyone has a way of motivating themselves, for someone it could be buying a new car, or learning a new language, and this could keep them in track and help them keep away from falling; for me, what motivates me and gives me strength is a planned trip or a festival to go for an upcoming date. Long story short, I again created this anticipation to obtain motivation and ambition out of it. Contrarily, coronavirus came out to wipe away all. However, struggling with the pandemic altogether helped me not get impacted much.

I took this period as an opportunity to do things I used to postpone or found excuses not to persist enough. I am making amateur music as much as I can, with my not so efficient computer, I use the program called Ableton, it is the best DAW in my opinion. I really like electronic music, that is made with synthesizers. Other than that, I am trying to watch series and movies that I watchlisted but never watched. I am reading my books, there is one book amongst them I told myself to read when I was in high school but never actually read it till now! Haha. YES, I am a lazy ass. I think Coronavirus is teaching me lots of stuff. Some people must have thoughts like, it is the time to spend time on games like Pubg or applications like Instagram, but contrarily, I removed those applications during the pandemic from my phone! I think this is the time to improve ourselves in terms of general culture, acquisition of more knowledge, and try to be productive. Spending time on Instagram won't get you anywhere unless you are one of those influencers or bloggers that make money out of it.

I recently had a very interesting moment, "off the topic by the way, but related with the headline" which is that; I was murmuring a song continuously and I could not resist not playing it, so I launched my Spotify to put it on, but before, I had this impulse of clicking shuffle play, -I had 1160 songs on my liked songs at the time- and the song that came on, was the one that I was murmuring, so basically, it was 1/1160 possibility, I think it was a little gesture of the universe :) Universe is full of magic and energy that can really change a lot of things, however, universe understandably prefers to only show some instantaneities of it in the frame of coincidence, which we can not use to prove something.

See you guys on my next post! Stay healthy!