RE: Unschooling: A Basic Guide for Early Education (Prek-5th grade)
remembering that arguing with a young child is a lack of communication on your part rather than theirs is paramount.
I fully agree and for some reason I'm reminded of the screaming matches my neighbours have most days with their children.
Talking to children like people was something that came up with my eldest the other day. I never went in for the baby talk with them and I can't imagine that she would have appreciated an answer like "because I said so!" She's always been too headstrong and intelligent for that. I would also have been in huge trouble with her if I hadn't lead by example. If I ever pulled her up on anything, reminding her that I have never given that example was the best way to cut off the automatic defiance and make her think.
@homeedders!!! Hello again my new friend! Great comment. Watching people argue with AND LOSE to kids as young as 2 or 3 has always amused me. From my perspective, you can tell who runs a household by how parents and children interact. If we are having a discussion, that's great. If I want you to do (or not do) something, it's not a negotiation or up for debate, so getting sucked into an argument on their level is not only pointless but harmful because it undermines the child's ability to inherently rely on the knowledge you are in charge. It also makes it much more difficult in a suddenly harmful situation to get the needed immediate response to keep the child safe. I actually point this all out to the girls sometimes, when the 12 year old argues with the 8 year old. "You realize you are arguing with an 8 year old? Do you really think this is going to get the desired results?" Another aspect to all of this is how more intelligent kids tend to try and argue with the parents, and if you take it personally and your emotions become involved, you have lost the battle of wills. I used to watch my oldest daughter do it with people. If she could make you mad, she won. It's like a solid game of arm wrestling. You have to stay calm and focused and steady.