Vapers and steam trains | A satirical look at vaping

These days, more and more people resemble, in a way, the old steam giants of long ago. They do not run on rails or make "Choo-choo!" like the old steam-and-steel beasts, but they steam almost as much as a steam train puffing uphill to conquer a mountain.

Actually, some of them do make "Choo-choo," now that I think of it. The other day I was standing outside the mall, waiting for my Uber to arrive, when I saw a bloke who was vaping. Suddenly he coughed and swore. He was coughing "Choo-choo-choo," and then he told his buddy "Dry hit, Bru!" He then cleaned his throat and he sounded like train wheels slipping on wet rails.

The juice of his mouth-locomotive was finished and he inhaled burnt cotton. He fiddled a small bottle out of his pockets, and refilled his mouth-train. Just like a steamer, halting next to a water tank and filling up.

When a steam locomotive needed more power, more coal were burned. When the steamer went downhill, less coal were burned and valves were closed to restrict the steam or opened to release the pressure etc. 

His "bru" told him his wattage was too high. He adjusted something, and then he steamed again, blowing a long puff towards the sky. It smelled like vanilla cookies. 

Vapers also have a language of their own.  Juice, wattage, coil, cotton, 18650 batteries, direct to lung, mouth to lung, regulated mod, mechanical mod, DIY juice, vape scene, RBA, RDTA 

What is the slang for a vape mod?

Douche flute...

That being said, vaping can certainly be a lot sexier than smoking stinkies.

(Well I typed this entry, I was vaping myself)