Content was great, here's 3 IMPROVEMENTS:

Intro+thumb and the outro that needs a little more gentle approach, LESS MEGAPHONES. The intro could have been;

"I remember getting fast junk food as a treat. I remember really wanting a birthday party at Maccy's just like my school friends had...." --this would draw the Steemers in, to follow the story/curiosity...

Avoid ever starting, or ending with keywords like "horror" "never kill" "eat animals" etc... 99% of people, wont click.

And play the bright colourful McAdvertising game with your-thumbnail!! We dont really wanna click a fried-birds-face, thats why they did not make that the Golden Arches logo. Always always thumb something bright like the jelly beans, bright bold beautiful FIRST THUMB.

Anything less, and the content will never get a look.

PEACE
of Fruits