Adventures of the Viking-kind Part 0.05

in #viking7 years ago

Viking_Chibi_5.png

This one day I was sitting at the inn, trying to get drunk and lucky with the innmaid. Around that time, a dwarf walked in sideways through the door. He sat down next to me and ordered some beer. We started talking about stuff, although neither of us could tell you about what, since neither of us were listening. After a few more beers, we decided to go on an adventure in the forest. Well, that is where I wanted to go, he just wanted to find the biggest, baddest thing around to slay.

Walking around the forest, we spotted a big dragon-type thing. Not too sure, though. We were really drunk. Like any good dwarf, he jumped at the dragon-type thing, waving his giant axe around. When I say jumped, I really mean hopped. Have you ever seen a dwarf jump? So there I was, holding up the tree that wanted to fall over for no reason, while this dude just carved through the monster with his axe. He ended up covered in blood and gore and I managed to keep the tree from falling over.

Satisfied with our kill, we decided to have a braai. Now for you who are not familiar with the term, that is what you call cooking meat over a fire. With more beer ordered through bird mail on the way, and the fire going strong, we decided that we needed more people for the braai, since there was a lot of meat and we would probably only finish half by ourselves. When the messenger bird came back, we sent it out again with invitations to people we made up names for, to see if the bird could find them.

The innmaid arrived, hauling two kegs of beer, and I thanked her by dry humping her leg. I was crawling around at the time and it seemed like a good place to start. For no reason at all, I was flying through the air and landed in the heap of meat we were getting ready for the braai. The dwarf was so drunk he nearly put me on the grill until he realized it was me. Well I think he realized, because he mumbled something about the meat going off and tossed me aside.

The messenger bird never did return and we only managed to drink all the beer and eat half the meat, but we decided we should stay friends. At least, I think that is what we agreed upon, since neither of us were listening. Every once in a while, we do go hunting for something big to slay and have a braai, though. Maybe, someday, the messenger bird will return. Or not.

And there you have it. That is how I met WulfenZA.
Peace, prosperity, and promiscuity to you all!

Disclaimer: @zakludick is more dwarfy than all of the Hobbit dwarves combined. @jbrrd is still missing-in-action.
Art by @AnikeKirsten (from whom I buy this service with my looks and charm)

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Hoschi is being too lazy to leave a real comment. Give that tree a beer!

You know when i start to talk to you, you get you next Story, and went rich... i have to controll it ^^

Hahahaha! I laughed into my beard at this! Garro Sigrfolkr! Garro!

The Chibi dwarf is ever so adorable!

Is it dwarf enough for you?! lol You want the dwarf? You cant handle the dwarf!

"I am going to count till 14 and then we drink all four of these mugs."

"You what?"

"Nevermind."

rofl "there I was, holding up the tree that wanted to fall over for no reason" ... @sigrfolkr your are amazing man!
I know you are not listening, but just get agreed upon this comment !!

Yes, whatever you said

Lol but y don't he always listen

strange hooman, send me on a useless fly to find ground dweller names that not exist. so I do the not come. have heckin craftier tings to care for, like do a preen of feather, peck at seed to fill pooper and do a sneak watch @sqrrlspy. if drunkviking and dwarfman give proper nut tribute that befit jbrrd flock, jbrrd will fly. oh, and do a look up. jbrrd frens done a poop in beerkeg trough. we be not slave messengers so scat on head.

Polly want a cracker?

Very cool story I love your stories!😊😊

I love them too... lol

Lol @ zak being more dwarfy than all the hobbits , your stories are the best lol

He will outdwarf anyone yes!

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole! Diggy diggy hole! Diggy diggy hole!

I do enjoy your stories! :-)

I do too... lol If it is half as fun reading them as it is writing them then my work here is done lol until the next one that is