This is clearly the loneliest Narwhal, Reggie. Reggie the Narwhal lived in the coldest part of the ocean, right on the edge of Atlantis. Reggie always dreamed of possibly playing professional football in the NFL someday, but he lived in a god damn ocean, far away from the stadium lights of a major network franchise. Reggie soon realized this, and let the darkness within consume him.

He gave up his dreams of being a quarterback, for the blood and carnage of his soul. Because someone from the bible demanded he do it. He soon began impaling all the little citizens of Atlantis on his horn. And after many weeks of slaughter, Reggie finally grew tired and took a nap. The end :)