Why Do I Make So Many Enemies in Business?

in #work8 years ago

A bit of self reflection today.

Earlier this week I found out that one of my employers (I'm an independent contractor that has a handful of clients) decided to sell his business for a tidy sum (over $100 million). While I would consider the owner and proprietor of this business to be a great friend, and am thrilled he was able to generate such a high value for his 10 year business, it sucks all the same for me. This was my #1 income since I decided to work as a contractor and when the sale is final in a few days, I'm looking for work (His company has less than 10 employees who will all be moving over, but the lone independent contractor ... not so much).

This is not the first time a company I have worked for has decided to sell to someone else, and it likely won't be the last as what I do somewhat leads to that inevitability. But this one stings more than those before it and I'm struggling to figure out exactly how to rebound from the weeks events. Finding and taking on extra work is going to be a small problem but finding and taking on extra work for people I truly enjoy to work/with will be largely impossible.

You see, I'm a bridge burner. Coming out of college (University of Miami), I had a hard time finding a job in my field of mathematics so I took a job in what I knew, as a restaurant manager. I worked for someone who I would consider to be deplorable; no personality, no humor, no ethical or moral standards toward her workers ... and six months into the job, while I enjoyed my team, and those around me, I struggled to tolerate this woman's attitude toward her employees, her customers, just her overall general demeanor. So while everyone else complained, and hater her behind her back, I became fed up enough to resign my position, while letting her know exactly what I though on my way out the door.

Fast forward to my job after that (which led me to my current profession), I found myself working for an online company that was doing very good business. Times were great, new employees were coming in fast and the world was ours (11 employees when I started, 32 employees at it's peak in early 2009). Well that didn't last long and the financial collapse was ours to bear. One by one, my boss was picking off employees, and his character started to show. Paychecks became late, tantrums via email about good employees that questioned the direction of the company, forcing people to work extra hours w/o clocking in on weekends for fear of losing their jobs ... it was a powerless situation even though I was one of the senior members.

So, as I've been shown to do, I left in a blaze of glory letting the CEO know that despite my best efforts (and the efforts of my team and co-workers) this company was likely to collapse after I resigned. Took a little bit longer than I expected to be quite honest, but 24 months later, the company was no more. I left at an appropriate time however, and in 2010, I started working for myself in a similar vertical to my last job ... and have six strong years of business to show for it. And even in working for myself, I came across one client who I considered a friend, and then just completely left me in the dark (with a signed contract) when he sold his business. Took millions and disappeared ... only through an actual lawsuit did I ever see or speak to him again.

So now here I am, a man who is under-employed, having lost a job and a person he very much enjoyed working for (which as you can see is not easy for me), wondering if I need to keep my mouth shut, hunker down, and just take work when I can get it regardless of how I feel about my superiors. I'm never one to stay silent (for too long anyway) when I come to terms with people I deal with on an every-day basis, but can I afford such freedoms now?

Not Happy.

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It is easy for me because I'm on the outside looking inside. I would say always follow your core values. Communication is always key. So that neither person will be in a false position. You do provide value otherwise you wouldn't have the work. See if this person would provide some networking to other jobs.

I think everyone has a boiling point. It just differs from person to person. I used to be a doormat. Go along to get along. Over the years that didn't work out so well as it's a good recipe for building resentments. I've left a couple jobs in a blaze of glory just like you. Damn satisfying in the moment. But then reality smacks us upside the head. It sucks.

The only advice I can think of is pick your battles wisely. Decide if the fallout is worth the blowup. If it's a temporary situation, grit your teeth, find an alternative venting resource (I blow up monsters online), and realize that the creeps have to live with themselves forever. In the meantime, be on the lookout for the relationships woth investing in. It's not foolproof, but it's a framework.

Good luck!

It's just hard seeing a problem and having to stay quiet about the origin or the solution while suffering the consequences of it not being addressed

That's tough. I wish you all the best.
I'm a person that speaks my mind too, although I usually got along well with employers.

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