Chokehold: I was a 5th Grade Pro Wrestler - Chapter 2 - Ouch! Plant a tree not a seed.

Gavin and Rodrick were as close as two cousins could be. They played together; ate together; and on occasion, when they were very young, took baths together. Of course, the bathing part ended after Rodrick left a surprise for him in the tub: a floating stinky. Gavin was never a fan of surprises after that. Barring that, they were of one mind about every topic you could think of except one.

Professional Wrestling.

Rodrick and his dad were huge wrestling fans. They watched it every Saturday on television. Sometimes they even went to see it live. On those occasions they would pick Gavin up and take him to the events. He would go because it was a fun time to be had with his cousin, but he truly could not stand it.

The wrestlers were large and mean. Many of them wore masks, and all of them called each other brother. To Gavin it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen. To make matters worse, every time they either watched wrestling on television or in person, Rodrick would always want to act out what he had seen.

Usually it would be him trying to body slam Gavin, or put him into a sleeper hold. Sometimes it would be him putting on a cape and screaming into his ear at the top of his lungs. Either way, it would always end with Gavin punching him in the nose.

Things changed after the Arthur event. Gavin was interested in learning to defend himself and professional wrestling seemed like a decent enough martial art. Since he didn’t get it on his television he decided to spend the night at his cousin’s house. Sure enough the next morning was a wrestle fest. First they ate breakfast in front of the television and then, at 10 o’clock AM wrestling came on. In fact, it came on twice.

Once as a regional show featuring low budget production values and guys you could find working at the local hardware store, and once as the big budget national product that featured big name celebrities and action figures. Over the years Gavin would gain an affinity for the regional product, but on this occasion all he wanted was technique. He needed to learn a wrestling move.

Match after match he studied the mannerisms and movements of the wrestlers. He saw the various moves and how they were performed. Most of them seem a bit too complex for him. Still, he was determined to learn and studied the last match especially hard.

It featured local wrestler The Graveyard Hound versus his arch nemesis Colonel Henry Heartache. The match was not a technical affair. Neither wrestler was known for having advanced skillsets, but they both knew how to put on a show. Each punch was excruciating. Each kick was devastating. And when the Graveyard Hound went for a giant head butt, everyone in the house felt it. It was at that point that the Graveyard Hound gave the signal for his finisher the Hound Dog Blues.

Now the Hound Dog Blues was basically just a body slam variation where the Graveyard Hound would hold his opponent at chest level for a few seconds, and then slam him down; landing on top of him.

On this occasion the Hound went for the move a couple times. Each time he hoisted Henry up and each time Henry blocked the move. This made for very exciting television, but for Gavin it did something else. It gave him the opportunity to study the move. In fact, the play by play announcers, in an attempt to sell the drama, explained in great detail how the move was done, how the block was occurring, and what would happen if it was ever implemented fully.

After a few more minutes of getting beaten down by Colonel Henry, the Graveyard Hound was finally able to execute the Hound Dog Blues body slam*.

Gavin didn’t remember much after that. He was too busy going over the move in his head. He knew that later he would be tested. Rodrick always made it a point to wrestle with him after the show. This time he would be ready.

Gavin was snapped out of his visions of pro wrestling strategy and back into the real world with a cold oozing sensation. Rodrick had gotten too excited and knocked over his milk. Gavin was completely drenched. He had other clothing, but would have to walk to his grandmother’s house to change. His match with destiny would have to wait. In fact, it had to wait a full 15 minutes.

Gavin barely had time to get outside his grandmother’s house before Rodrick was laying hands upon him. The boys were each jockeying for position with Rodrick trying to pick him up for the Hound Dog Blues, and Gavin using Colonel Henry’s technique to block it. Soon frustration was starting to set in wit Rodrick. He became flustered and tried to disengage. This was the moment Gavin had been waiting for. He picked Rodrick up and awkwardly dropped him down with his version of the Hound Dog Blues.

Rodrick was completely shocked. He was also in a fair amount of pain. He had never actually been slammed before.

Gavin was ecstatic. He performed his very first wrestling move and he didn’t have to punch Rodrick in the nose. Everything was going well.

• The traditional body slam involves the lifting performer maintaining a vertical base while releasing the opponent. Body slam variations with the lifting performer falling with and on top of the opponent are typically called power slams.

To Be Continued in:
Chokehold: I was a 5th Grade Pro Wrestler - Chapter 3 - The Battle Royal