Ooo I can never completely trust the person who diffuses the situation and highlights the spread of blame… this is so well put together, you drop straight into the action, using carefully chosen dialogue to set a scene and draw us into this distrustful dilemma. You carry the emotional strain of living in this situation for a period of time fantastically, not stating how long they have been there until a way in gives the reader the immersive ‘endless’ feeling the character faces.
Underneath the facade we’ve all put up for the eyes of the public, some were actually nice people.
I just love this line, probably true of most people, a subtle background touch there ❤ the body turning up, and the way what had been an experience people were trying to make the best of takes a sudden turn to the premise set out in the beginning, it adds weight to the characters and drops a little ‘knowing your neighbors’ hint that comes in lovely at the end.
In a way, the people who were killed were saved
a simple line that casts such a shadow over the main character, both of doubt and empathy, emphasizing the weight of the struggle to come. The duel fear of wondering if they want something just as much as they don’t, the ever present axe waiting to drop should they close their eyes. I wonder if it is the same person who killed everyone, you set up a situation where with so many dying, and no way of really pinning down who did it, did someone else snap part way through and join in with the killing? Could they killings have been by a variety of people? Could more than one person left alive here have taken a life in the fear of suspecting someone else? Or could there be someone else in there with them… although no one could dare suggest that without instantly drawing more suspicion to themselves, a perfect set up really!
The ending is just brilliant… it really got me wondering about the killer… the fact that it was someone they had lived alongside for so long, a little note in there about how little we know our neighbors. For all they know, there was a serial killer on their street the whole time, someone who tried so hard to resist the urge in the bunker, but in the end couldn’t give in. Not providing a solid motive for the killings is just the perfect final touch, if they hadn’t had enough food for everyone for so long, or if there was some other pressure, but instead you force us to face this without an excuse.
Yeah, the narrator does seem both innocent and not. ^^
Thank you! I really wanted to emphasize how mundane, in a way, dealing with a dead body became (oh, just help me move this and stop being so upset, will you?), how mentally fatigued they were because of all the events, and I'm happy to see it came forth.
I actually wanted to play more with that line, add some more to it, but am actually happy I didn't. It says just enough, and leaves just enough to the reader. :P
There could very much be more than one killer. Pointing fingers only creates more chaos because you can't prove anything... But if you kill the person you believe is the killer... well, you might have solved the problem. And you might've not.
I somewhat wanted to write it a way that the killer would be known to the reader, but not to any of the characters, even the killer himself, and have him suffer a mental disease, but I believe this strikes much closer to home, so I went down this route instead. :p
Yes! Which only adds to the entire mental stress of the occupants in bunker because they're constantly left wondering who it could be, rethinking all the memories they have together. I imagined it like someone sitting in the corner, watching their neighbors as they passed by and thinking of them: "Could it be him? But the way he handles meat three years ago at his barbecue party... I don't think so... But he was very bad with his dog and not a single neighborhood animal liked him. Tracy, maybe? She's always been kind of shy and lonely, and just weird in general. Oh, Bill! He's the tough guy type. He's got a skull tattoo on his right shoulder and has always been around those shady bikers...." and so on, and so on...
Maybe I should've put in more of this. :P
Yep. No higher motive. Just killing for the sake of killing. The very worst kind.