Close Encounters of the Absurd Kind 19 - If History's Taught Me One Thing, There Won't Be A Tomorrow

in #writing7 years ago

 Stoner Log: Stardate Moleman


 I regret to inform you that waving your dick at a problem will not make it go away. This has been field  tested.

 My poor Her Grace, the Magic Dope Fairy got zapped by lightning on her way down to earth

And who says climate change isn’t a thing?

 As a writer of matters fantastic, my ideas come from nearly everywhere. That’s why I’m glad I followed Harlan Ellison’s advice and got myself an honest job.   

 That’s not to say I’m right all the time, however. For example: I dreamed up a story about a sex robot that is hacked and reprogrammed to carry out an assassination on its owner.  Then, I realized that Dark Matter already did it. And did it better than I could.

 I guess that’s where the old adage that “There is nothing new under the sun” comes from.

 I don’t know if it’s a commentary on where my life is right now, but I’m kind of glad it’s getting cold and gloomy outside. I can usually deal with extreme heat and cold, but I could not tolerate how boiling hot this summer was. Without much rain, it felt like a chore to get through.

 Nobody gets more pussy than NOOB-NOOB


 I feel I’ve made it as a meme broker if somewhere in the universe, a hot, but sad chick lazily swipes through these in bed. But only if it amuses her.

 I need to do more fucking baking. Baked Baking. That’s almost definitely a thing, but a thing I should also do.  

Ooo, check me out. I got N64 AND Playstation! I’m living the 90’s kid wet dream. Just after I watch Babylon 5 on the Space Network and catch a late night episode of that new show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

 Well, then. Since Dtube is now a thing, I shall indeed be uploading more to it. I can make up my own personal fiefdom of stuff I find interesting or amusing on it.

 It’s also occurred to me that this will be a fine place to put my movie when it’s done. As opposed to exclusively Vimeo or YouTube. My movies fit where they fit best. If it’s classified as a romance, then it’s a romance. If it’s a drama, so be it. All of my ideas seem to have a lot of expansive influence, which makes them rather adaptable.   

 Consider this: some music sounds better in the “jazz” setting, or the “rock”, “pop”, “live”, whatever settings. If that is what does it the best justice, then I can squanch with that.   

Mm! I also got some company while I was smoking up outside. The picture is a little fuzzy, just as he is.

"How do you do? My name is Mr. Proteus."

 You know, I truly do miss the 90’s as I remember them.   

 I mean, you can listen to the same music that was on the radio, eat the same foods, watch the same movies, play the same video games, make the same mistakes. But in the end, you truly can’t go back to your innocent childhood days and experience it all anew. There is only a first time for everything, and since time only runs forward (for now), you simply cannot behold the same wonders fresh.

 I suppose, that makes memory a little more precious.   

 I recently came to face the fact that I could barely remember my Dad, in spite of the fact that I’m apparently VERY  much his son. While smoking up, I mentally retraced my steps and relived an entire weekend at my dad’s old apartment. It’s a little cathartic, and I think has made me a little better adjusted.

 I had a brief epiphany when I was out in my grotto. I have new neighbours across the way, who live in perhaps the most ghetto of houses imaginable. That’s the nature of my neighbourhood.

 And to be honest, my life sucks the hardest it ever has right now. I’m in a massive amount of debt, out of a vehicle, and hardcore unemployable.

But the upside? It’s MY life for a change. I got here on my own merits, my own qualifications, and by my own effort. This was my choice, for better or worse. Like the Klingons, I say it’s better to die on my feet than live on my knees.
  

 However, this Agent Orange strain is starting to wear off, so I’ll have to call it here. Until next time!

 Fairy Bless,
-Eli