New Social Rules

in #writing6 years ago

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We live in a world where instead of waiting for a letter, a knock on the door or a phone call, we most likely wait for a WhatsApp message or Instagram Direct Message. Sending a message is just as easy as not sending one, neither of which require much effort at all. It's a weird and twisted dynamic. One would think we'd be forming new connections and keeping up with friends easily, and nobody would feel lonely, yet it isn't the case.

Easy access



It's easy to form a new connections with the help of apps and dapps, a surface level interaction, but a more deeper, longer friendship is actually quite hard to maintain and requires actual effort from both parties involved. Sure you can follow each other on Instagram, like their pictures and send memes every once in a while, but to have a deeper connection, you need quite a lot more than that.

Getting rid of someone in your life has never been this easy before, all it often takes is to just stop answering their texts and eventually, often quite soon, they will stop sending them and that is it. In the olden days relationships were formed through mutual contacts, workplace, family and being in close proximity of one another, essentially, coming in contact with someone in real life regularly. Now it's different because relationships are formed often via internet and don't have any limitations in terms of proximity, so the same rules don't apply.

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These days receiving rejection is also easier than ever before, you can be both on the giving and receiving end of it from the comfort of your own home. The rejecting party can do it basically without any discomfort or fear of repercussion, which can be a lot harsher than it would be if someone were to approach you in broad daylight in real life and you'd decline an invitation for coffee.

Consequences?



Everything works in a much more rapid time frame, we get to know more people than ever before, we have access to all the information, and we are going nowhere a million miles an hour. A constant hurdle of emotions are being thrown at us without the delay of distance or time of the day, and without much filter.

This all must mess with our psyche quite a lot, and I really don't think we have lived in this new world long enough to be able to adapt and deal with the crazy emotional changes effectively. So we hurt. Not from hunger, not from physical pain, not for fear of war, but emotional pain, something our forefathers would have laughed at us for. Maybe acknowledging this makes it just a tad bit easier to deal with.

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Mä just pohdin tätä asiaa yksi päivä ja ajatus heräsi kun olen katsonut Vikings sarjaa ja pohtinut sitä miten erilailla ihmiset kommunikoivat 1200 vuotta sitten. Tiivistit asian tosi hienosti!

Kiitos Pauliina! Siinä sarjassa taitaakin olla hyvin semmonen kyläyhteisö meininki ja kun miehet lähtee sotaretkille niin ei niistä mitään kuulu kuukausiin, hieman on erilainen elämä nykyään.

Oispa viikinki nii vois uusia maailmoja ja aarteita löytämään lähteä. Ja tietysti poliittisesti epäkorrektisti muutaman munkin niitata.

Joo, hieman on joo jutut muutuneet tässä vuosien varrella! Ei voinut lähettää meriltä whatsappia vaimokkeelle kotiin.

I'm often bewildered by how impassioned people can get by words tossed around on a screen with so little effort. I rarely fall into the trap but when I do it's a little frightening.

It also goes to show how easily we can be manipulated by the big social media companies. We're going to have to grow thicker skins and develop new coping mechanisms if we're going to thrive in this new world.

I live in a world, where I think @eveuncovered's responses are witty and meaningful. Although she doesn't always respond, and futuremind feels sad. I know she's busy :(

Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to futuremind anymore :(

She doesn’t always answer because she is lazy and disorganised, but she is sorry if that makes anyone feel bad, especially a loyal follower. One should never take that personally!

Futuremind's concerns are quelled, and he feels relief. Thank you, the beautiful @eveuncovered.

new media are just TOOLS. Never forget, that a phone or an app is just a tool! What you make of it and how you use it, is your choice. Also, you make the rules of social engagement..

Yes they are and one can opt out of it, but it does change the rules of the game, and if you ain’t playing it, you might miss some things. Choises choises.

There is another choice between to just "obey" what you perceive to be the rules and "opting out" completely. It's like with dancing: Learn the rules. Then bend the rules, finally break the rules. If lead with strong will and soft touch, wonderful things follow.

Hey @evenuncovered , I just realized that you are Finnish 😊 I live in Finland too, in Lahti to be exact, other than you, I only know other 2 steemians from Finland 😬

Hi! There are not that many of us but if you check who @suomibotti follows, you’ll find most of us 😁

I'll definitely check it out, thank you 😊

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Good post. Due to the growing digital era, personal interaction is being lost. Living life is important, feeling every aspect of it.

Good post.

Social media use works poorly as a means of relationship building. Anything confidential is hard to communicate over social media channels. On Steem, it requires the use of encrypted memos the existence of which is fully public if not the content.

Cutting off contact with someone is entirely possible in the walking world as well unless the person you do that to lives with you or lives literally next door.

Thank you Markku! There is an art to communicating over social media, one that is easily misinterpreted and can cause unnecessary harm. Abandoning someone in real life is completely possible, but it does require a little more effort and one might need to actually try and be nice to the person while doing so. If we go back 100 years or so, people lived and worked in small communities, where you would have to leave completely in order to avoid someone. Of course I am exaggerating slightly, but it is quite different now.

Yes, that is true. In our times, we consume relationships like any goods.

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This small post was very good ... I was like to read this.
I was just think what you put in next post :)

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