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RE: SHORT STORY - Lena and the Band of Assassins - Part 04
Thank you very much. :)
What do you mean by "play with it?" I could of done more with it? Written it differently?
Thank you very much. :)
What do you mean by "play with it?" I could of done more with it? Written it differently?
I mean experimented. Words are the legos we snap together to make something cool and functional.
These men… They… they… they… they… they…
Perhaps you could have the character stammering into it. Wha-it, th-th-that's what you think thi-thi-think this is for me?
Tha-tha-tha They… they… they… Stammering leading into pauses. A fun idea.
Perhaps it could be: “They, they they they,” she said in-between dry heaving for air. Dozens of ways to play with it. It depends on what you would like as the result. Have fun with it. Great work! Awesome!
Cool, yeah I get ya.
I wrote it how I wanted to write it though, the idea was this slow and methodical "descent" into madness, with the pauses "." between each "they". It's not frantic, it's slow and calculating. But ye, I could have done it differently, and maybe it would of been better, in any case thanks for the response!
No, not about better. It is about improving. You did fantastic. It is all about playing and finding that fun side. You can always experiment that is my bigger point. It does not have to be perfect. It can be excellent though! Big difference. Love your work! If it resonates with your heart! Then it is excellent! It certainly resonates with others.
Thanks my dude, appreciate that.