Reason 827346 why I quit drinking, memoirs of a drunk.

I was in Montana, near Helena, maybe an hour or two outside of it, I had been there once before and was excited about being there again. I had just returned from a 4 month voyage on a (dry)work boat and was happy to see friends, be able to walk more then 50 feet in any direction and most of all get a few drinks in me. Now, like I stated earlier, I had just gotten back from sea, where I regularly worked shifts ranging as light as 12 hours and long as 48 (sometimes longer), So my sleeping schedule was a little erratic. Because of this sleeping schedule and all the excitement I had pulsing through me I didn't sleep the first two nights I was there. I was staying at a friends place, not just me but a whole convoy of friends, there property line ended where the national forest began and the terrain was wild and beautiful, just mountains and trees. I spent my first two days and nights there reminding everyone how nice it was not seeing me for months. All I did was drink and run amok amongst my naive friends. I caught a turkey and put it one friends car (they had a few as pets), I filled anothers sleeping bag full of crawdads, I was kinda just being a jerk.

By the third night I was still feeling restless, so I decided to take a midnight hike through the woods, I figured if I just walked in one direction all I had to do was turn around and walk back, solid reasoning, right? Now if you know me, you'd know I have terrible sense of direction, son of two couriers but I can't find my way out of the shower half the time, but I had route figured out so all was good. I decided all I needed for this little walk was a fifth of vodka and a pack of smokes and I was solid to go. I'm still not sure how far I made it out before fatigue finally hit me, but the bottle was getting real dry so I decided to kick back on large of logs.

I woke up without much to my name but that empty bottle, I had a cell phone, but there was no service this far from town. It was the middle of summer and the sun was already making its presence, it was a dry hot heat with temperatures reaching around 100 degrees and I was lost, pretty good too, If it hadn't been for all that vodka pumping through me I probably would have been a little upset, but I figured all I had to do was walk around a mountain or two and I would be back in town, make a couple calls and I would be back at the house getting blasted off keg beer and one of monarchs finest spirits. I started on my walk and step by sobering step I became increasingly more aware I was in grizzly bear and mountain lion country, if I was on the wrong side of the fence in another locals property that wasn't so friendly of strangers, the fact that I hadn't anything but booze in me for the last day at least, I just kept walking down, hopefully closer to something or someone. Maybe 8 hours passed by, before I finally made my way to a dirt road, my salvation. I walked that road for hours unaware of whether I was walking the right direction or not, if I was headed to town or maybe deeper into the mountainside, maybe it was an old hunting trail that petered into nothing, I just kept walking, still thinking of all those big cats and bears people loved talking about. Finally an old truck came rattling by and I was able to flag them down, they really didn't know what to make of me and after I was finally able to convince them that I was truly just a lost idiot from out of state they reluctantly gave me a ride to town so I could find a payphone. I was pretty far out, but somehow I recognized the road to the house I was staying at and I hopped out and stumbled my way back to my community. There was a search and rescue team they needed to call off, there were neighbors they had to contact to settle down, there was a few people on alert.

After choking down more water then I thought I'd ever be able to drink I was able to get back to my routine of keg beer and marlboros. The only difference was they bought me a dog tag(which you can see in the picture) I had to wear (with there address and phone number on it) before I was let out of the house again. I had a few sunburns and some scratches but I was good.