Writing, walls, casessteemCreated with Sketch.

in #writing6 years ago (edited)

I want to write, but if I want to get this right, I think I have to read the writing on the wall.

I think there’s a joke in there somewhere, I just have to interpret it… ;)

In any case, I really have to stop talking about cases. I have enough of them to work on as it is, especially considering all those houses I cased recently.

I mean… nothing?

Moving on. Because seriously, we need to. After all those casings, the police are looking for the owner of the gun.

casings, pixabay

Don’t you just love how words have way too many meanings? NO? That’s too bad then, I suppose we’ll just have to get rid of you.

John? We’ve got another one. Yeah, I know, that’s the third this week. Yeah, of course I’ll pay you double for the body. You know how this works by this point.

Why exactly is my go-to hit man named John? It doesn’t sound very intimidating.

Though perhaps that's the point. Perhaps if they see me contacting John instead of, I don't know, Charlie or something, it won't look so suspicious. Then again, perhaps not. Charlie isn't that intimidating of a name after all.

I just… think that I'm probably going to get an arson charge for doing that whole "writing on the wall" thing.

graffiti on pixabay

Oops

That wasn't supposed to happen. Though I suppose that's just what I deserve after calling someone like John.

Oh the irony! And no, I'm not referring to what I did to my wrinkled shirt, I'm referring to the fact that after all those murders and violent crimes, after all those foiled and failed attempts at world domination, I'm going down for a stupid prank like this.

I probably shouldn't be writing this, if I go down now it may end up on my record.

Speaking of which, I haven't heard anything played on a record in a looong time. Seriously, it's been at least a coupla years. Don't you miss that vintage crackling sound, that terrible quality music?

pixabay

No, I'm not saying the quality of the music itself was bad, it just sounded so when you heard it on that abysmal vinyl. Ah, the classics. They don't make anything like it anymore.

Have you ever wondered why a see-saw is called a see-saw? I happen to have a theory: If you place a baby or small child on it, you see him/her, if you then jump on the other side, you saw him/her.

I should test this out one of these days. After I figure out if onomatopoeia is an onomatopoeia or not. If it is, it is, and if it’s not, it’s not…

That statement was a lot deeper than it sounded. In any case, I think I’ve overstayed my welcome, so

-hyperbole out

Sort:  

-Oh my John, what shiny casings you got there! Whatcha gonna do with them?
-I'm going to open them, pore the useless stuff out that is in there and put my favourite galls lock of hair in all of those, seal the casings, polish and varnish them and make them into lucky necklaces for me. Several if I loose one or two.
-Cool! So you have scalped your darling?
-Noooo! How can you think that? She's fine. She's at work now and when she comes home I'll prepare her a lovely candle light dinner.
-Of her grandmother, right?
-NO! You have a sick mind! Her pets of course.

Hmm. I quite like the way this conversation is going, though I'd have preferred if it had a bit more... evil to it. You really have to capture John's personality.

And for some reason, all I can think right now is You have a lot of gall calling a gal a gall, it's rather galling in fact, or more accurately gal'ing.

Hard to make someone really evil if he isn't, and I would love to talk more about John's level of evilness, butt my thoughts are more in my ass.

Makes one wonder about the etymology of the word gal. I'm happy I made this spelling mistake. Without it, your comment to my comment and my comment to your comment to my comment would have been something entirely else. Can't wait to see your comment to my comment to your comment to my comment.

I'm curious why you like my comment to your comment to my comment about your comment which happens to have been commenting on commentation was attempting to twist my mind and trick me into double-crossing the double crossed double-crosser and maybe cross the street again, or just do another one on the old Son and get a double crossing.

Be that as it may.

butt my thoughts are more in my ass.

Sounds interesting. Care to expound?

I'm curious why you ... get a double crossing.

Because.
I like the words you choose and how you put them together. One after another.

Care to expound?

It's nonexistent.

I don't miss that crackling not a bit although it can be tasty, yes indeed it can.

Ah, but of course. Might want to show a sample to the little lady, let her know that CDs aren't the worst thing in the world.

Or you could take it little by little, maybe show her cassette tapes first.

I will allow her an old VHS tape, that will learn her!