I find it hilarious how the last frustrated command from Sergio is, "hungry!" as if the Out would care; he's probably always hungry and struggling to breathe.
Again, masterful execution. I love the part about the mother and the dream of the "flutter-bys." This has a touching depth to it I'm surprised by.
What are your plans for this story?
And again, thanks!
The more I write about Sergio, the more I grow to detest his character. Such a lecherous pig, bleh! I like that, even in the In he struggles to breathe, oh lovely unintentional irony.
I was definitely trying to go for a more emotional underpinning to this one, it's probably not very subtle. In a way I like to reverse normative cultural roles a little bit. Ramsey is the one that does all the feeling, while Sylvie is a matter-of-fact and utilitarian. Sergio is a digusting human, while Penny is the innocent one. I didn't really do that intentionally, but I guess it just sneaks as I write it :).
As for where the story is going, both you and I will just have to see...