How to write a killer prologue

in #writing7 years ago

The purpose of an intriguing opening is to grab the reader so they want to read more. This is a play on words but also a “killer” of a prologue.

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Prologue

The moment Kurt Smith sat down and peered into her intense brown eyes he knew she was the one.

Five years of searching had brought him to her table. Yes, fate had chosen this petite woman to replace his wife. She wasn't as attractive as his Mary had been, but this woman looked so much like her they could have been sisters.

The urge to reach out and stroke her cheek made his fingers twitch, but he held back. Now was not the time. That would come later, once he'd won her trust and her heart.

Her face flushed red and she cleared her throat. She'd caught him staring at her. She asked him in heavily accented English, "May I take order for you, sir?"

Scanning her from head to toe, he nodded his appreciation. This adventure would be sweet. He was sure of it. His beloved Mary had never listened to reason, but he had a feeling this woman would do whatever he asked.

As he searched her eyes he sensed some weakness from her past, like she'd tried to please a man before and failed. The hint of distrust in her eyes told him she'd paid for her mistakes.

He would teach her how to please a man and succeed this time.

Smiling softly, he answered her request and pointed at the menu. "Yes, I'd like the number one special. The short stack with two eggs over easy and hash browns on the side."

He saw her glance at his ring finger as she wrote his order on the tablet she carried. She was fighting her attraction to him. He sensed that as strongly as he could smell the bacon cooking on the grill.

He would accommodate her desires, but not in a way that she would expect. No, he'd be patient and slowly win her over until she begged him to meet her womanly needs. He was a bit older than her, but up until now that had worked to his advantage.

"Can I get something for you drink?" She bit her lower lip and peered at him with a wary look in her eyes.

He'd screwed up things by holding her gaze too long. She couldn't suspect his motives or she'd be afraid of him. That would never work. He had to win her devotion.

"Coffee would be good, ma'am." He swallowed hard and summoned buried pain from the day he'd been forced to kill his wife to shut her up. He hadn't cried then, but he'd do it now if he must.

"I'm sorry if my staring makes you uncomfortable. It's just that you remind me so much of my baby sister. I really miss her." He brushed a fake tear from the corner of his eyes.

"Is okay." She touched his arm and smiled so sweetly he nearly groaned from the pleasure it brought him. Waiting for this woman was going to be a daunting task.

Closing his eyes a moment, he rested his hand on hers and added, "Bless you for your concern." Ugh. Now he sounded like a priest. What kind of crap just came out of his mouth?

Her eyes sparkled as she squeezed his hand. "You very welcome." As she left to place his order, it struck him in the solar plexus. Religion... of course! That's how he'd get to her.

He'd tap into memories of his dead wife's faith, painful as they were, and bring up everything about God that he could remember. Even the things that ultimately made him take her life.

If religion would win this young woman over, then so be it. He could stomach it for a while if the end result would make her fully his.

Someone else delivered his breakfast. He gobbled it up without tasting it as he waited for her to come by and give him his check. He rubbed his hands on his jeans and smiled as she approached him.

"Pardon me, ma'am, but how do you pronounce your name?" He pointed at her name tag.

"Jovana. Jovana Trajkovski." She rang up the tab and returned with his change.

"What a beautiful name. I will pray for you. Would that be okay?" He slipped her a note with a five-dollar tip. Nothing threatening. Just enough encouragement to put her more at ease with him.

She blinked several times as if in shock. A smile slowly covered her face. "Yes. Is good."

He grinned in reply. Surely he would win this woman's heart. It was just a matter of time.

If you want to keep reading you can buy this book on Amazon for only $1.49 to read on your kindle.

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You're getting my vote for the same reason you won't get others. Bravo on the bold marketing technique. Now, if there was only a way to sell that same book right here, for steem. (I'm working on it) good luck and keep it up. If I was looking for another read right now, I'd buy it. Creepy dude, eh?

Another thought. I have 24 other books on amazon. No need to market here. I just thought the topic might interest people.