Lessons I wish I had taught my kids - Installment 2

"You don't need that!"

Those were the famous words of my father...or perhaps they are better described as "infamous." They were famous because I think many of his oft-quoted sayings were quite endearing and this was certainly one of the more common ones. I still miss my father, he passed away in 2000. Infamous because that's what he said pretty much every time I asked him to buy something for me when I was a child.

For instance:

Me: "Dad, can I have a new bike."

Dad: "You don't need that."

My parents never gave me an allowance. They told me if I wanted something just to ask. But, after years of hearing that same response over and over, I quit asking because I hated those four words.

Fast forward to my kids, I was more of a pushover. Reactionary to my father's, "You don't need that," I swung the pendulum a little too far the other way. Fortunately, I married Wonder Woman/SuperMom who balanced me out. Wonder Woman was, and still is, a tightwad. Whenever the kids wanted something, I was always desirous to give it to them and fortunately my wife would often pump the brakes. But it was swimming upstream for her so the kids maybe got a little spoiled.

I never gave them allowances in exchange for chores because I was lazy and just told them if they wanted something to just ask. And instead of "You don't need that," often I'd cave in.

Looking back, I wish I'd given them an allowance, taught them how to budget their money and balance a checkbook. Simple tasks and not too much effort would have been involved. But, they're having to learn it on their own now. It would have been far better to teach them when they were kids.

So what's the deal with the rocket photos?

That was my hobby during my kids' formative years. I don't do as much anymore, but it was a lot of fun at the time. As impressive as those vehicles were, and as cool in flight as they were, they're not nearly as meaningful now. Knowing what I know now, I would trade all the time I put into those things for more time to teach my kids how to budget, how to balance their checkbooks and just have fun with them.

If you have kids at home now, my advice to you is to take the cell phone away from them, put the video games away and go bowling or toss a baseball...or if you're like me, shoot some hoops with them. Or invest some time into them teaching a life skill like changing a flat tire or how to jump a dead battery. That's what will have a lasting impact on them, not how much money you made or a stupid hobby that's all about you like rockets were for me. Pretty soon that empty nest thing will catch you by surprise and BOOM, the flood of regrets will hit you.