Rushing into a relationship with my unconscious Part 3

schmevepoobly (53)in #writing • 7 years ago

The Bean-Bag Pyramid

My bedroom: Late morning, after work

Dream: I’m trying to sleep in my room. It’s dark outside. The lights are on and someone is pounding my door even though I know that they know that they should know that I’m sleeping. I shout for them to fuck off and they require a lot of convincing. It stops. Then at my window I see a figure. I see a figure looking in on me from the darkness. I think it’s either of my roommates, T or D, but then with its flashlight it looks more like me with my security guard uniform. I decide to go kick his ass or berate him in some fashion, whoever he is because he should know I’m trying to sleep.

Outside my bedroom door the living room of the basement has taken over the entirety of the regular space. There are no longer any stairs, or a bedroom, bathroom, closet, or laundry room. Instead there is the television and some computers; but centered, at the end of the room, there’s a bean-bag chair that’s taller than me, in fact much taller. It’s a ten foot tall bean-bag chair that’s quite wide and at the top there’s a seat with a backrest like a throne, something I’ve never seen on a bean-bag chair. Since there’s no way to leave the room other than to return to my bedroom I forget about the figure and choose to return to my room. I lay back in bed and sleep.

The dream ends.

Interpretation:

One of my roommates, T, spends all of his time hanging out in the living room watching shows and playing video games. I used to spend a lot of my time hanging out with him when I smoked. He knew a ton of good shows and movies. It used to be one of my favorite things to do, but often I’d feel guilty for wasting a whole day or night just passively watching movies or shows. Don’t get me wrong there are examples of both that will change your life for the better and everyone should take time to watch, but when you aren’t feeling productive and you keep making time to Netflix and chill even though you have shit to do you develop an overwhelming feeling that your wasting your life.

So, like I said in the last post, mountains, pyramids and/or triangles represent hierarchies and this bean-bag chair I think represents a hierarchy that we don’t often think of as a hierarchy and that’s the hierarchy of time-wasting. Did you finish that season yet? Oh dude you gotta play this game! Oh man you don’t know acting till you see Willem Dafoe in this shit! I don’t mean to shit on cinephiles or gamers, but with the amount of content that is out there and with the growing importance pop culture has in our daily lives it’s really easy to fall into the trap of filling all your time with keeping up with the latest seasons of shows or movies because you feel left out of the loop among friends or family who have spent a lot of their time becoming more entertainment content literate than you. So you feel pressure to watch things that take up a lot of your time. Time that you could use to climb hierarchies that might give you more fulfillment and more opportunities to better your life in the long run.

Any activity or indulgence that doesn’t make the future you a better or more capable person should be thrown out of your schedule if you really do want to change your life for the better.

In the dream when my roommates or me come knocking at my window when they know I shouldn’t be disturbed it’s because that’s how it always happens. People are friendly and communal and when they waste time they want to do it together. To choose the productive path means to sometimes strain, change or drop friendships and relationships. It means developing the “productive you” part of your psyche to a higher resolution and ignoring the “time-waster you” till it’s a very low resolution.

Also,
A note on dream transcribing:

It’s a hard line to lay out as many details as possible as well as to write as quickly as possible. I write, I summarize, I detail, and they all emerge in one linear sequence. I wish I could detail the summary to avoid the vague and I wish I could summarize through detail that seems arbitrary to me, but I cannot determine what is to be summarized or fleshed out in detail, I can only follow flawed memory and attempt to capture the what of I’ve been shown as verbatim as could be verbatim.