I have a relationship

I have a relationship
yet she tells me she needs space
she was married for 15 years
he finally left
I give her space

She tells me she loves me all the time
yet within and under and around i sense something
something not right
a sense about her

its like she is in the band
and playing
but not really into it

fear of loss maybe

we tried doing the open relationship
i gave it a college try
it hurt bad
i could not do it
she could
she fell in love
deeply with some young young kid
i wanted blood in those months

we ended the open relationship
she sat there like a doll.. just being
i then opened it again to get some sort of flow
life

i sit wondering, maybe i just need to play and stop thinking
let life lead this one

where is that mozart album i liked so much

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash