I'm an avid reader, so first off, thanks for these two author recommendations. I've read many similar books in several genres, with the "romantic" sub plot. and as I've grown older I've realized that sex as a "completion" of a romance has become less important to me than the actual recognition of love and overcoming the unresolved tension or obstacle that is standing in the way.

Sure sometimes it's interesting to see some light porn in the book, but for me it doesnt make or break the book. The plausibility of the romance does. If I dont get the romantic connection, ie attraction is all based on sex and superficial nonsense or outright stupidity on the part of the characters, the characters lose flavor and fall to pieces. I stop caring if they will mate.

I will recommend to you an author I read a year or so back and have started to re-read because I find her plots memorable and her characters compelling.

Trudi Canavan, specifically the Black Magician trilogy, but her other series are just as fascinating. perhaps not as slow burn as you might like...